


Deeper Than Family

by eerian_sadow



Series: Avalon [88]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Adoption, Canon Typical Violence, Family, Gen, Love, M/M, Orphaning, Verbal Abuse, severe injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-10
Updated: 2008-09-18
Packaged: 2018-10-14 23:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 56,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eerian_sadow/pseuds/eerian_sadow
Summary: Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined Iacon, only to find out they were family. Now he and Jazz are trying to raise Bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well, i was yet again a busy bee. today and tonight i was working on another piece that takes place in my Days in Avalon universe. this one is more prowl and bluestreak centric, rather than focusing on jazz though.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined Iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and Jazz are trying to raise Bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.  
Notes: well, i was yet again a busy bee. today and tonight i was working on another piece that takes place in my Days in Avalon universe. this one is more prowl and bluestreak centric, rather than focusing on jazz though.

i've meta-ed about their backgrounds quite a bit here, since none of it is ever really discussed in series. Prowl is from a very large, very close knit family unit. he is one of five "children" and his creator's bondmate died when he was very young. everything else that you need to know will be revealed as you read.

those of you who were with me for Days in Avalon will recognize some of the dialogue here in the first bit. that's because i copied it, verbatem, from the other fic. this one will take place concurrently with some of jazz's flashbacks from Days. also, the femme medic emdee, who was supposed to be a throwaway character worked her way into this chapter as well. obviously, once you read. she may even end up being important later.

The attack on Iacon had been horrible. The Decepticons had hit the city from nowhere with the force of an electrical storm and left nothing but devastation their wake. The survival rate was almost nil. The rescue teams had found only thirty mechs in the rubble. Most of those had been brought to the main Autobot base for medical care. The rest were in heavy trauma counseling.

Most of the mechs hadn’t stayed in medical long. They had been treated and released, and most had decided to join the Autobot army. Only two mechs were left in the medbay: a musician of Jazz’s acquaintance and a very young sparkling.

They had come to medical to visit Jazz’s acquaintance, but Prowl found himself being strangely fascinated by the sparkling. The young mech had rated a special care unit to himself; the medical staff wanted to keep him from seeing the worst of what was happening.

Prowl thought their efforts were too little, too late.

The sparkling was hard to see as Prowl watched him through the care unit’s window. He sat on the recharge berth, arms wrapped around knee joints and head buried in the space they created. His posture was full of grief and sorrow; Prowl wondered how someone so young could ever recover from something so horrible.

Jazz’s presence at his side was comforting, though he didn’t really know why he was so bothered by the plight of a single sparkling. He had seen many worse things in this war. Things like the destruction of his own home city and creators.

Oh, Primus. That could have been me in that room, if the Decepticons had started mobilizing earlier.

“We can’t even get him to take energon anymore,” Prowl hadn’t heard Ratchet’s second walk up, but she moved softly. “Its like he wants to die now.”

“Perhaps he does,” Prowl replied. “It must seem logical, to cease to function when there is no one left who even knew your designation.”

He knew Jazz was looking at him with something close to shock. “Prowl…”

Prowl turned to look at him. “I was a mature mech when my home and my creators were destroyed by the Decepticons. Despite that, I know some of what this sparkling is feeling.”

“He might talk to you,” The medic, Emdee, added. “The two of you are the same frame type; sometimes those similarities are enough to get a sparkling to open up.”

Prowl fell silent, thinking. Would the sparkling let me help? And is it possible for me to help, or will my demeanor only make things worse?

“If you can convince him to refuel, even if he won’t do anything else, that would help, sir.” He heard the obvious desperation in Emdee’s plea. The medics could do no more, and now she was trusting him enough to ask for any assistance he could give.

Prowl turned back to the window and leaned his head against the glass for a moment. Without help, the young mech in the next room would not reach maturity. He would not have a chance to see the end of the war or to find the life he was meant to have.

He knew Jazz was worried about his sudden fascination with the sparkling, but the saboteur would also advise him to help. Without consulting his bondmate, Prowl moved to the door of the care unit.

He might not be able to help, but he really couldn’t hurt the sparkling any further.

They stared at each other for a long moment after Prowl entered the room. The sparkling stared with hostility. Prowl stared with shock; the sparkling looked almost identical to a much younger version of himself.

“Why do you look like Crossfire?” The sparkling finally asked.

Prowl stiffened at the name. Crossfire hadn’t been heard from for over sixty vorns. He, and the rest of his family, had assumed she had been destroyed in the fighting. “Crossfire and I share the same creator.”

“Are you her brother?”

Prowl nodded. He and Crossfire hadn’t been sparked together, but their creator had made his sparklings so close together that they never distinguished the difference.

The sparkling fell silent, but he continued to watch Prowl. Prowl returned his gaze.

Finally, when the silence grew too unbearable, Prowl spoke again. “Will you trade me your designation for mine?” It was the same tactic he had seen members of rescue teams use on other traumatized survivors and he thought it might work here as well.

The sparkling looked thoughtful, then nodded. “Bluestreak.”

“I am Prowl.”

“I won’t ever see Crossfire again, will I?” The tone Bluestreak asked the question in was almost sparkbreaking. Prowl felt his own pain at the loss of his family become very real again at the question.

“No. I’m sorry; Crossfire wasn’t among the survivors. We did not manage to rescue any femmes from the ruins of Iacon.”

A broken sound made its way out of Bluestreak’s vocalizer. “I can’t be all alone! I can’t be!”

Prowl forced the sparkling to look him in the optics. “You are not alone, Bluestreak. There are many Autobots on this base that will help you. And we are family.”

Bluestreak continued to make small broken sounds, but he didn’t look away from Prowl’s optics. “You promise?”

“On my honor. You are not alone.”

No one could have been more surprised than Prowl when Bluestreak flung himself into the tactician’s arms.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Prowl was distracted after they left medical, his thoughts turned toward his sister and her sparkling. He regretted more than ever the falling out she had with their creator. Quickfoot had never meant for Crossfire to leave their home, and none of the family had thought that she would cut off communications completely with them.

If he had known where she was, Crossfire and Bluestreak would not have been in Iacon when the Decepticons attacked. He would have moved them to the base long before that.

“You all right, Prowl?” Jazz handed him an energon cube and sat down across from him.

“Thinking.” Prowl took a small drink of the energon.

“About?” The saboteur was being pushy, but the tactician didn’t mind. He wanted to talk about this.

“Crossfire. And Bluestreak.”

Jazz nodded. “That’s your sister, right? The one who ran away after that fight with your creator.”

“Yes. I had no idea she was in Iacon. If I had known she was so close, I would have tried to reestablish contact.” Prowl leaned his head on his hand wearily. “If she hadn’t been so stubborn, Bluestreak would not be in the medbay right now.”

“You couldn’t know, Prowl.” Jazz reached across the table and took his bondmate’s free hand. “You’re a good tactician, but I don’t know any mech who can predict the future like that.”

“I don’t just mean the attack on Iacon. If she had just stayed in contact with one of us, then someone would have known where she was when the attacks escalated and I would have brought them to the base.” The tactician shook his head. “She might have been safer, if we had stayed in touch.”

“Quickfoot must have made her pretty mad, then. You always talk about her like you were close.”

“We were, sixty vorns ago. No one dreamed that she would stop communicating with all of us when Quickfoot forbade her to bond.”

Jazz gave a surprised squawk. “ _That’s_ why she ran away? What was wrong with the ‘Bot she wanted to be with?”

Prowl gave him an amused smile. “She was a femme. My creator felt that there were too few femmes on Cybertron for them to be monopolizing each other like that.”

The saboteur shook his head. “The spark wants what the spark wants. You can’t tell it what to do. What did you tell her?”

“That Quickfoot’s arguments were highly illogical and the only logical course of action was to be with the person she wanted to be with.” The tactician looked down into his energon. “I did not see her again after that night. She didn’t even say goodbye.”

Jazz just looked at him for a long time. “I can’t imagine how that felt. I’m sorry she did that to you.”

“So was I.”

“What are you going to do about Bluestreak?”

“What else can I do, Jazz? He is the only family I have left, even if we just met today.”

Jazz kicked him under the table. “Not the only family, love.”  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined Iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and Jazz are trying to raise Bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record here, i'm snagging my time units from [this site](http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Units_of_time) and bs-ing a few of my own to make this work. things got a little confusing if it just tried to stick exclusivly to the chart i've linked. my time breakdown, for use in my Avalon universe looks like this:

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined Iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and Jazz are trying to raise Bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.  
Notes: for the record here, i'm snagging my time units from [this site](http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Units_of_time) and bs-ing a few of my own to make this work. things got a little confusing if it just tried to stick exclusivly to the chart i've linked. my time breakdown, for use in my Avalon universe looks like this:

cycle = one day  
deca-cycle = one month (that breaks down a little better than the three weeks Simon Furman assigned it)  
meta-cycle = thirteen months/one year (hey, who says a cybertronian year has to be 12 months long?)  
vorn = 83 years (i'm not sure why, but i wanted to keep this particular time unit the way it was. its not a nice, even number but it works in my head. not sure why. but it puts into perspective just how long jazz and prowl were apart in the flashback in Days in Avalon)

i'll add others if/when they actually come up in the story.

also, ratchet is kind of an asshole in this chapter. just warning ya.

**EDIT: I HAVE NAMED THE FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU GODS!!** I shall call it "Deeper Than Family". it sounds hokey, but i like it.

He spent all his off duty time with Bluestreak. The sparkling would hardly do anything without him around, so Prowl made sure to be around as much as he could. Optimus Prime even allowed him to change his duty schedule to spend time with the sparkling. Jazz was disappointed with the lesser amount of alone time they had, but he understood that Bluestreak needed Prowl more at that moment than he did. Sometimes the saboteur would even come along on his visits to the sparkling.

He spent just over twenty cycles with the visiting schedule before he approached Ratchet about having Bluestreak released into his care.

“Absolutely not.” Ratchet shook his head emphatically. “There is no way that I am releasing a depressed, underfueled sparkling into the kind of dysfunctional house you and Jazz have set up. You couldn’t ever be there enough for him.”

“Duty schedules can be changed, Ratchet.” Prowl knew he had to keep his temper; he could never appeal to the medic’s softer side if he started an argument. “He is my sister’s sparkling.”

“So? You don’t see any of the rest of us trying to raise sparklings around here. You’re not going to convince me that Bluestreak should be released into your care.”

“He won’t refuel for anyone but me. He can’t even go into recharge if someone else isn’t in the room.” The tactician glanced over his shoulder to make sure Bluestreak hadn’t realized he was in the medbay yet. He wouldn’t be able to talk to the medic if the sparkling was there. “I have already made significant changed to my scheduling to care for him.”

“The system we have is fine.”

“The medbay is no place for a sparkling to spend all his time. It is not a home and you need that special care unit back. Don’t think that Prime and I haven’t noticed how you’ve had to creatively treat patients without it.”

Ratchet shook his head again. “I said no, and I meant no. I don’t think you’re capable of taking care of a sparkling, even with Jazz’s help.”

Prowl was not pleased with the answer, but he knew he would get no further with the chief medic today. He turned to go visit Bluestreak. “We are not finished with this conversation.”

“I’m sure.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Prowl, why does Ratchet say that you’re an unfit caretaker?”

Prowl turned to Bluestreak, shocked by both the innocent question and the fact that Ratchet would have said something like that to the sparkling. “When did he say that?”

“At my last check-up. When I told him it was stupid for me to still be in the medbay and that I should just go home with you because you already take care of me anyway.” Bluestreak looked both scared and confused, something Prowl was not comfortable with. “He got mad and said that, and then he left. Emdee tried to act like nothing had happened later, but she seemed mad too. Have I done something wrong?”

“No. You have done nothing wrong.” Prowl turned from the report he had been reading and gave the sparkling his full attention. “I have been trying to get Ratchet to release you into my care for almost eight deca-cycles. He thinks that I cannot take care of you appropriately because of my work. I have been arguing the point since I made my initial request, but he continues to disagree.”

“But why would your work be a problem? You work now and you still have time for me.”

For the first time he could remember, Bluestreak had finally asked a question that Prowl didn’t have a good answer for. He didn’t really understand Ratchet’s reasoning; there was no way he could properly explain that to Blue. “I would not be home as much as Ratchet would like, but I do not see why it should be the only reason for keeping you here.”

“Then why--?”

Prowl held up a hand to stop the question. “Ratchet and I need to talk about this again, I think. I promise we will talk about the results.”

Bluestreak did not look happy with that answer, but he nodded.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Prowl walked into Ratchet’s office unannounced and smashed his fist into the chief medical officer’s face. Ratchet looked up at him in shock from his landing place on the floor.

“You are entitled to your opinion of my capabilities,” Prowl seethed, “But you had no right to say such a thing to Bluestreak.”

“Is that what this is about?” Ratchet picked himself up warily. “Are you offended that I called you an unfit caretaker?”

“You can call me anything you want; you have for years. But that sparkling has spent the better part of a meta-cycle looking up to me as a caretaker and mentor, and you had no right to undermine that. You would have no right to say anything like that to any sparkling.” Prowl’s anger was more controlled after his punch, but it was still evident.

The rest of the medbay had fallen silent, listening to the unusual drama playing out in Ratchet’s office.

“You gonna hit me again if I say it again?” Ratchet looked almost as angry as Prowl.

“Only if you say it to Bluestreak. And then I will bring Optimus Prime into the matter.” Prowl let the threat hang in the air. They both knew that Optimus was the only mech that the medic was likely to back down to in such a situation.

Ratchet had the audacity to laugh. “If you’re willing to defend that sparkling to anyone like you just did to me, then I take back what I said.”

That tactician was taken back. “Were you testing me?”

“Of course I was testing you. Primus! Did you think I would let Bluestreak go off with you if I didn’t think you would defend him against anyone who would hurt him?” The medic looked smug. “If you’d take me on for him, you’d take anyone.”

“Your test was not necessary. I would defend Bluestreak from Primus himself if necessary.” Prowl turned away from Ratchet, too angry to look at a mech he had considered his friend. “I am taking him home today.”

“I want him back in here on time for his psych evaluation tomorrow.” Ratchet shouted at the tactician’s retreating form.

Prowl ignored the medic.

“Sir, do you think that was a good idea,” Emdee asked as Prowl stepped through the door. “He will be angry with you for a long time after this.”

“I know that. But I had to be sure he would protect that sparkling from the mechs outside the medbay. Optimus may have a code of conduct to uphold, but some of the newer recruits interpret it pretty liberally.” Ratchet shook his head. “Most of them are going to be very unhappy that there’s a sparkling running around the base.”  



	3. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

well, it was pointed out to me earlier today that i was breaking the rules over at [](http://transficsation.livejournal.com/profile)[**transficsation**](http://transficsation.livejournal.com/) by not putting a header and summary on my fics. to be honest, i'd forgotten all about that.

but i also hate writing a summary of what's in my fic. i always feel like i'm giving too much away--or not saying enough to garner any interest. so, this chapter, i'm going to work out a sample summary. ~~if i like it, i'll stick with it, but we'll see.~~ i dunno. i kind of like what i came up with here...

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
not much in the way of plot happens in this chapter, but without it the plot would go nowhere. there's a lot of blue-prowl interaction and a barely-more-than-cameo appearance by bumblebee but not much really happens. but pairing it up with the next section would have made them monstrously long. *shrug*

as for the visual i have of bluestreak's size in relation to everyone else, in my mind's eye he comes up to bumblebee's nose.  


Prowl was sorry that Jazz was on a mission when he brought Bluestreak home. He didn’t want to simply drop the sparkling into his bondmate’s lap, but he didn’t see any reason for him to leave the young mech in medical a moment longer.

Jazz would understand. He hoped.

When Prowl and Jazz had approached Optimus Prime about their bonding, the Autobot leader had reassigned them to larger quarters. It was a command level suite, with multiple rooms and far more living space than they actually needed. Optimus had insisted on the gift, despite their protests. Prowl was glad for the larger quarters now; there was enough space for three mechs and a second recharge room for Blue. Their possessions were still scattered around the main room when they came in.

“I apologize for the mess,” Prowl said. “With Jazz away on missions so often, I haven’t had any help unpacking.”

“Its okay,” Bluestreak replied, clutching the stack of study pads Prowl had given him to his chest. “I don’t know if Crossfire ever unpacked after we moved to Iacon.”

Prowl smiled softly. That sounded quite a bit like the sister he remembered. She would have lived out of boxes and travel luggage if no one got after her to unpack. “I have no intention of leaving things so cluttered here. Jazz and I both prefer a neat living space. I expect you to abide by that.”

The sparkling nodded, solemn. “It not like I have much to leave around, anyway.”

“That will change, Bluestreak.” The tactician laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “A mech needs more than study pads in his life. Follow me; your room is this way.”

Bluestreak followed, his lingering sadness overtaken by curiosity about his new home. He examined everything carefully as they walked. Prowl let him take his time, waiting for the sparkling at the door to his recharge room. He remained silent as Bluestreak finally entered the recharge room, letting the young mech take in his new quarters.

Wheeljack had helped them scale the furniture down for Bluestreak’s smaller stature. The sparkling would be at least Prowl’s size once he had gone through his final upgrades, but for now, everything had to be significantly shorter.

The engineer had built a suitably sized workstation for Bluestreak and placed it along the left-hand wall of the room. Wheeljack had even remembered a smaller keyboard and adjustable chair. Prowl would have to remember to take him out for a cube of high-grade for this work; he had gone out of the way for a sparkling he barely knew. Prowl and Jazz had spent an afternoon going through the tactician’s personal holo files and had copied several of Crossfire into projective frames and left them on the workstation desk. Shelves lined the far wall, out of the way of the workstation, but still convenient. The recharge berth rested along the right hand wall and a large viewscreen took up the final wall.

Prowl wasn’t sure he entirely approved of a viewscreen in Bluestreak’s room, but Jazz had insisted that some of the study files were better viewed on a larger screen.

“This can’t be my room,” Bluestreak finally said. “It’s too nice.”

“I thought it was rather plain,” Prowl told him. “We didn’t know what you liked, so it was difficult to plan appropriately.”

“You’re really giving me all this space? I don’t have to share with anything?”

The tone of Bluestreak’s question made Prowl wonder what kind of life he and Crossfire had been living in Iacon. It was an expensive place to live, but surely she wouldn’t have impoverished them to get there. Perhaps their apartments had simply been small.

He would believe that until Bluestreak told him otherwise. “Yes. This is all yours. You don’t have to share it with anyone or anything.”

The sparkling beamed up at him.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak explored their quarters with enthusiasm. He taught himself how to activate all the workstations, though he couldn’t get past Jazz’s password, how to turn on the viewscreens and how to turn on Jazz’s sound system.

Prowl discovered very quickly that Blue liked music almost as much as Jazz. As he watched the sparkling dance around the main room, he wished that he had a holo camera. It would be a good memory to keep. For the first time since he had met him, Bluestreak looked the way a sparkling should—free of the pain and sorrow that burdened him.

His moment of quiet reverie was interrupted by the guest alert at the door. The tactician turned away from Bluestreak, who appeared oblivious, and went to the door. Bumblebee was standing on the other side, looking nervous.

“Bumblebee? What is wrong?”

“Optimus Prime wants to see you, sir.” The mini-bot shifted from foot to foot.

“Is that all?” Bumblebee’s demeanor made Prowl instantly wary.

“Is it true that you hit Ratchet?” Bumblebee asked the question in a rush, as if he had to ask the question before he lost his nerve.

“Is that any of your business?” Prowl replied coldly. He did not want to be fueling any rumors.

“Well, no, but the whole base is already talking about it. I just wanted the truth.” The young mech looked so sincere that the tactician had trouble denying him.

“Yes, I hit Ratchet.”

“You really hit Ratchet!?” Bluestreak’s exclamation carried very clearly over the music.

Prowl hung his head. Bluestreak did not need to hear about that.

“Yes,” he said again. “I hit Ratchet. I was angry at him and showed a complete lack of judgment.”

“And now he’s in trouble with Optimus Prime,” Bumblebee added.

Prowl didn’t know if the special operations officer was trying to help him or tease him. He decided to ignore the statement and turned to Bluestreak.

“I must go see Optimus before I go on duty. This means that you will be here by yourself for longer than we had discussed. Will you be all right?”

Blue looked a little scared, but he nodded. “I’ll be okay.”

Prowl did not believe the sparkling. “Bluestreak—“

“I can stay with him, Prowl,” Bumblebee put in. “It’s not a problem. Emdee has me on restricted duty, so Jazz took me off the roster until he gets back.”

Prowl looked from the mini-bot to the sparkling. “Is that all right with you, Bluestreak?”

Bluestreak nodded, looking relieved.

“Very well. I will be back after my duty shift, then.” Prowl gave Bluestreak one last look, then stepped around Bumblebee and walked toward Prime’s office.  



	4. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
and now for something completely different. ish.

actually, for this chapter i switched to bluestreak's point of view. its kind of difficult to be writing from an "adult" point of view then switch to the point of view of a child, but i think i did okay. or i at least didn't screw it up too badly.  


  
Bluestreak had tried to do what Prowl had asked. He had tried really, really hard. He knew he couldn’t have someone stay over with him all the time when he would be in their quarters alone, no matter how much Bumblebee said he liked being there. He knew he should be in recharge right now, too.

But he was so _scared_.

He curled up on the spare recharge berth in Prowl’s room, trying to feel safer, but it wasn’t working. He had been alone in the ruins of Iacon for too long. He had been home alone, just like he was now, when the Decepticons had attacked the city. Every time he offlined his optics, he started having nightmares about it again—even if he wasn’t in recharge.

It was all he could do not to bolt to the main room when he heard the door open. He knew it was too early for Prowl to be off duty, but maybe he had sent Bumblebee over after all. He waited, but no one called out to him.

He felt his fear getting worse. He strained his audios to hear footsteps, air intakes cycling, anything. When he heard nothing, he started imagining.

_What if there are Decepticons breaking in? What if we’re being attacked here at the base? Someone’s breaking in to--_ The sparkling’s train of thought cut off abruptly when Jazz entered the recharge room.

He had forgotten all about him.

Quickly, he offlined his optics, hoping Prowl’s bondmate hadn’t seen him out of recharge. He didn’t want the other mech to tell Prowl he’d been misbehaving. His fear of getting in trouble spiked when the other mech just stood by the berth, looking at him.

Jazz didn’t say anything, just laid down on the other recharge berth. Bluestreak realized then that he was probably laying in Jazz’s berth. He suddenly needed to know that Prowl’s bondmate wasn’t angry at him.

Bluestreak sat up and watched Jazz for a moment. The older mech had offlined his optics and was probably going into recharge. If he was going to find out anything, now was the time.

He wasn’t sure how much he could trust Jazz—he was always taking Prowl away from him—so he decided to ask a question he already knew the answer to, just to test him. “Where’s Prowl?”

Jazz’s optics came online so quickly it made him jump a little. “On duty. I thought you were in recharge.”

Well, Jazz knew the right answer, but Prowl had also told him that he would probably be coming home around the same time Jazz was. It didn’t add up. “Can’t recharge when I’m alone. Why isn’t Prowl with you?”

“Bluestreak, I’ve been in Polyhex for the last three cycles. I haven’t even seen him in four.” Jazz sat up and looked at him. He seemed confused. That was fair; Bluestreak was confused all the time. “If I haven’t been here, how would I be with him?”

Jazz’s comment was completely logical. He shouldn’t even have needed to ask the question. But he had always been so jealous of the other mech for getting to spend so much time with Prowl. He had just always thought they would be together when Prowl wasn’t with him. Jazz didn’t seem angry with him, though, so he answered the question. “I thought you were always together.”

“I’m lucky if I see him twice in the same cycle.” No, Jazz didn’t sound angry, he sounded very tired. Maybe he hadn’t thought he could wait around for Prowl to get off duty.

“Oh.”

His thoughts brightened as he realized that Jazz _was here_. If Jazz was here, he wouldn’t be alone. He didn’t really like Jazz, but Prowl trusted him enough to recharge next to him every night and he had seen how fast he could come back online… “Are you going to stay for a while?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here for a couple of cycles at least.”

“All right.” Bluestreak looked at Jazz again, wondering if he was wrong about this mech. Prowl’s bondmate hadn’t said anything about him not being in recharge. And he hadn’t gotten angry when he kept him from his own recharge to answer his questions. He wasn’t sure about Jazz, but he knew they both needed recharge.

He laid back down in the recharge berth, still not comfortable enough to go to his own room tonight. If Prowl could trust Jazz enough to recharge with him, so could Bluestreak.

He hoped.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He heard them talking in the main room when he came out of recharge the next morning.

“You knew we would be brining him home, Jazz.” Prowl sounded angry. “You agreed to it. You helped me copy holo files for him, for Primus sake!”

“Calm down, Prowl.” Jazz didn’t sound angry at all. “I’m just saying that I wish you had warned me before I found him in my recharge berth.”

Prowl’s response wasn’t loud enough for him to hear, but it didn’t make Bluestreak feel any better to know that Jazz wasn’t angry. He loved Prowl, and he didn’t want to cause any problems that would make the older mech unhappy.

He just wished he knew what to do. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rocked back and forth, thinking.

What if Jazz really was angry? Would he make Prowl take him back to medical? Would he have to live in that tiny room again?

Would they send him away from the base entirely?

Bluestreak knew he was making scared noises, but he couldn’t make himself stop. He knew he couldn’t make it if they sent him away. He could never be alone like that again.

“Bluestreak?” Jazz’s voice was soft, almost comforting. It made him whimper more. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry!” Blue burst out. “I didn’t mean to take your bed and make you fight with Prowl. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

He buried his face in his knees so he wouldn’t have to see Jazz’s reaction.

Strong hands gripped his shoulders tightly. “Bluestreak, look at me.”

Oh, Primus. It was Prowl. He shook his head, more afraid now. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

“Prowl, he’s afraid.” Jazz’s voice was still calm, even, like he was either very angry and trying not to be or he was trying to be comforting. “You acting all mad isn’t going to help that.”

Prowl’s grip loosened immediately. Carefully, he moved one hand to the back Bluestreak’s head and stroked it gently. “I’m sorry, Bluestreak.”

_That_ made Blue look up abruptly. Prowl wasn’t the one who was messing everything up; why was he apologizing?

“We were never angry at you or anything you did,” Prowl continued. “I did not mean to frighten you. I am sorry.”

Bluestreak continued to stare at Prowl. He still couldn’t figure out why the older mech was apologizing. Or why he was saying it wasn’t his fault. It had to be his fault they were fighting; he was the only thing that had changed in their life.

“But you didn’t do anything!” he was almost frantic. “Don’t say you’re sorry when you didn’t do anything!”

Prowl looked at him sadly.

“Prowl, let me talk to him,” Jazz said. “Otherwise one of you is going to blow a circuit trying to understand each other.”

Prowl gave Jazz a look that Bluestreak didn’t understand, but his new mentor nodded and sat down on his own recharge berth.

“All right, Jazz. Perhaps it will work better if you translate for us.”

Jazz grinned. “You just don’t spend enough time around sparklings for Blue to make sense yet. You’ll get there.”

Bluestreak watched with cautious optics as Prowl’s bondmate jumped up onto the recharge berth next to him. He didn’t move away from the other mech, but it was a close thing.

“Now, Bluestreak, I want you to tell us what you think is going on. I promise that we won’t get angry and we won’t yell at you.” The grin that Jazz had given Prowl had turned into a gentle smile.

It made Jazz look so nice that Bluestreak _wanted_ to tell him what was going on. “When I came out of recharge this morning, I heard you and Prowl fighting about me.”

Prowl looked angry again. Jazz held up a hand to keep him from saying anything.

“We weren’t fighting,” Jazz told him in that same calm tone he’d been using. “Prowl was mad about something that another ‘Bot said to him. He yelled when I said that he hadn’t told me you would be here, but we weren’t fighting.”

“You weren’t? You promise?” It didn’t make sense that they hadn’t been fighting. Bondmates didn’t yell at each other unless they were fighting, right?

“I wouldn’t lie about something like that. I take honesty pretty seriously.” Jazz put an arm around Bluestreak’s shoulder and pulled him against his side. “You’re still shaking, Blue. You want to tell me why you’re so scared?”

“I thought you were going to send me away because I made you fight.” Bluestreak didn’t snuggle into Jazz’s side for comfort like he wanted to, but he did uncurl. “I was afraid you would make me leave the base.”

“We would never make you leave the base, Bluestreak.” Prowl’s voice was not calm like it usually was, but he didn’t sound really angry any more. “When I told you that you would not be alone anymore, I meant it.”

He knew that he could trust Prowl to keep his word. Crossfire had told him a long time ago that none of her brothers ever lied or broke a promise. And he loved Prowl almost as much as he had loved his creator.

Bluestreak held a hand out to Prowl.

Prowl stood up from the recharge berth and walked across the room to them. He settled into to the recharge berth next to Bluestreak and wrapped his arm around the sparkling’s back. Blue nuzzled into Prowl’s side and hugged him back.

“Thank you, Jazz,” Prowl said.  



	5. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
this chapter was a lot harder to write than i thought it would be. it was all stuff i wanted to start dealing with--and that may have been implied to you in the previous chapter--but its going to get into some hard topics. its going to get melancholy, but don't worry; it will get better too.  


“Emdee, may I speak with you?” Prowl wasn’t sure that he wanted to be discussing Bluestreak’s obvious psychological problems, but something needed to be done. Jazz would not always be around to smooth things over between them if the sparkling had another breakdown.

“Of course, Prowl,” the medic replied in her soft voice. “Is something wrong with Bluestreak?”

The femme’s voice was so automatically soothing that Prowl almost relaxed despite his anxiety. He supposed it was some trick of the harmonics of her vocalizer or some other trick of engineering. Whatever it was, it made Emdee both a good medic and a good trauma counselor. He wondered why Bluestreak hadn’t been working with her all along.

“Yes, actually. And I am unsure of who else to discuss the issue with.”

She gestured toward the chair across the desk from her. “Please, sit down and tell me.”

Prowl sat. “This morning, Bluestreak had a breakdown. And I believe the trauma may have come from something older than what happened in Iacon.”

Emdee gave him a long look. “What makes you believe this?”

“When he came out of recharge this morning, I was…shouting. In conversation with Jazz.” Prowl was not comfortable with discussing what had happened, no matter how at ease the medic put him. “We weren’t fighting; I was angry about some things Sunstreaker said and it spilled over into the conversation. But Bluestreak only heard the shouting. He became convinced that we had been fighting because I brought him home without Jazz’s permission.”

Prowl stopped for a moment, trying to find the proper words to describe what had happened.

“He thought you were going to turn him out, didn’t he?” Emdee said it so flatly that it surprised the tactician.

“Yes.”

“Do you know if his creator was seeing anyone?”

Crossfire was a topic that Bluestreak had rarely wanted to talk about, so Prowl hadn’t pushed for any specifics on his sister’s household. But he did know the circumstances that forced her to leave home. “I do not know if she was with anyone immediately before Iacon, but she ran away from home when our creator forbade her to bond with another femme.”

“Do you know if she went through with the bonding?”

Prowl wished he could answer the medic’s question. “I do not know. She cut off contact with our family after she left. But it seems likely that she did.”

Emdee nodded. “If his creator was bonded, then he may have been abused by her bondmate. If she wasn’t bonded, then it seems likely that he was abused by someone she was seeing or living with. He was likely threatened with being put out in the city alone when he did something wrong.”

“You assume that from only two symptoms?” Prowl was skeptical.

“Those two symptoms and several other experiences, yes. I want you to bring him to see me as soon as you can.” The femme gave him an encouraging smile. “He can be helped, Prowl. It is not too late for Bluestreak yet.”

He was not comforted by her certainty. “How can you be so sure of this?”

“The first abused sparkling I knew was myself.” Emdee did not seem uncomfortable with her confession.

Her matter-of-factness bolstered Prowl’s flagging confidence. “I will have Jazz bring him to you this afternoon if you are free. I have strategy meetings with Optimus and Ultra Magnus and will be unable to be here.”

“I’m free all day, barring Decepticons.”

Prowl was able to return Emdee’s smile when he left her office.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Jazz, why are we in medical?” Bluestreak’s voice was very unsure as he asked the question.

“Prowl wants us to go see the doc bots about what happened this morning.”

“Are they going to take me away?” The sparkling sounded genuinely afraid now.

“Nope. Prowl just thinks all our processors need examined.”

“Even him?” Bluestreak’s fear was tinged with disbelief.

“Even him,” Jazz confirmed. “He was down here talking to Emdee this morning.”

“Are we malfunctioning?”

“We might be. But I think we’re okay.” Jazz grinned down at Bluestreak. “Sometimes you just need to talk about your problems.”

“But I don’t have to stay?”

Jazz’s grin faded around the edges as he realized the reason for Blue’s agitation. “No, you don’t have to stay. We’ll just talk to Emdee and head back home.”

“Okay.” Bluestreak gripped Jazz’s hand tightly as they walked into Emdee’s office.

“Good afternoon, Bluestreak,” Emdee said brightly. “Will you please take a seat while I talk to Jazz for a moment?”

Bluestreak nodded and sat down in the chair in front of the medic’s desk. Jazz watched with concern as the sparkling curled in on himself. Emdee put a hand on his shoulder and turned the saboteur away from the sparkling.

“In the other room, please, Jazz?”

Jazz nodded and followed the medic with a grin in Bluestreak’s direction. When they entered the room she used for her counseling sessions, the grin fell away from his face abruptly.

“I assume Prowl told you why I wanted to see Bluestreak today.” Emdee went straight to business.

“Yeah.” The saboteur was not comfortable with the thought. “He said you think he was abused before we met him.”

She nodded. “And even if he wasn’t, I still think he needs some counseling after what happened this morning.”

“I’m glad.”

“What?” Emdee was plainly surprised. “Prowl seemed reluctant to allow him back into medical if it wasn’t an emergency.”

“I’m not Prowl, remember? I didn’t punch the chief medic in his office.” Jazz’s face was serious. “Prowl just doesn’t want to deal with Ratchet right now. But the way Blue lost it this morning is not right for a sparkling unless there is something wrong in his processor.”

“That’s relieving, actually.” Emdee gave him a soft smile. “Having two caretakers resistant to the idea of therapy for their sparkling makes my job very difficult.”

“I’ll soften Prowl up for you. He needs to make up with Ratchet anyway. We can’t have fighting like this between the senior officers.” Jazz turned back toward the door. “I’ll go get Blue for you, if that’s it.”

“Yes, that’s all. Send him in and we’ll get started.”  



	6. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

 

  
this section feels awkward to me, but i'm not sure what to do with it. i had to introduce sunstreaker's tormenting though. he's a major factor in compounding blue's problems and that has to start now or things in the future don't make a bit of sense. but it still feels really awkward to me.  


Bluestreak was trying hard to pretend that the yellow mech on the other side of the room was not mouthing off to anyone who could hear him. He was also trying hard to pretend that bad mouthed comments were not directed at him.

“I heard that Prowl only took him in because Jazz won’t make a sparkling with him.”

“Just ignore him, Blue,” Bumblebee looked around the recreation room. “We’ll get out of here as soon as you finish your energon.”

Bluestreak nodded and tried to take a drink of his energon. He was interrupted by another of mech’s hateful comments.

“Wonder what Prowl’s making him pay for his room and board.”

“Shut up, Sunstreaker!” Ratchet yelled at him as he sat down. “Some bots want to have their energon in peace.”  
  
“You’re just sore because Prowl took away your toy.” The entire room fell silent at Sunstreaker’s comment.  
  
Ratchet rose slowly to his feet, ignoring the large red mech that tried to keep him sitting. Bluestreak watched with wide optics as the medic stomped toward the yellow mech. “You are lucky that I actually like you, Sunstreaker. If I didn’t, a cleaning crew would be taking you in for scrap right now. Do we understand each other?”

Sunstreaker nodded.

“If I ever hear you implying any kind of misconduct with Bluestreak from either Prowl or myself again, I will hunt you down. If I find out you’ve been harassing Bluestreak, I’ll hunt you down. If you bully any other mechs into harassing him, I’ll hunt you down. And then, we’ll find out what does happen to Sideswipe when I scrap your sorry aft. Am I clear?”

Sunstreaker nodded, obviously too afraid of the medic to say anything.

“Good.” Ratchet took a step back. “Sideswipe, get this slag out of here before he does something I’ll regret.”

A red mech—different from the one Ratchet had been with—grabbed Sunstreaker’s arm and pulled him toward the door. They paused in front of Bluestreak and Bumblebee.

“I’m sorry, Bluestreak,” Sideswipe said.

Bluestreak watched them leave, wishing he knew exactly what had just happened.

“Finish your energon, Bluestreak,” Ratchet said gently. “Emdee said something about you being ready to be measured for your next upgrades.”

The sparkling nodded and turned back to his energon.

He hadn’t understood most of what Sunstreaker had said. He knew the words, but the way the older mech had used them didn’t make much sense. He would have to ask Prowl or Emdee what it all meant.

He was pretty sure that Prowl would be angry about it, though.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Prowl had come to medical to pick him up after his shift was over. Bluestreak grinned when he saw the expression on his mentor’s face.

“Ratchet had parts in storage that were the right size for my upgrades.” He hopped down from the table he’d been sitting on. “They feel weird, though.”

“I will have to get used to you being taller,” Prowl replied. “And we may have to have Wheeljack raise the workstation in your room now.”

Bluestreak’s grin fell off his face. That was all Prowl had to say about his upgrades? Maybe he had liked him better the other way.

Prowl looked at him with concern. “How have I upset you, Bluestreak?”

“It’s nothing.” Blue started walking, carefully, to the door. “Let’s go.”

“I am trying, Bluestreak.” Prowl followed him. “But I cannot do any better than this if you do not help me understand.”

He stopped in the hallway and looked at the floor. “I just…I thought you would have more to say about it.”

Prowl knelt down in front of him and tipped his head back up. The older mech gave him a gentle smile. “You look very good. Like Crossfire and I did when we were your age.”

“You’re just saying that because I made you feel bad.”

“I am not. I always thought my sister had a very aesthetically pleasing appearance.” Prowl stood back up and took Bluestreak’s hand. “I will show you holos of her when we return to our quarters, if you like.”

“Yes, please!” Blue walked with Prowl happily until he remembered the events in the commissary and the questions he’d wanted to ask his mentor. “Can I ask you something?”

Prowl looked down at him. “You may ask me anything.”

“Even if it makes you mad?”

Prowl stopped walking and looked him over carefully. Bluestreak struggled not to fidget with nervousness. He didn’t want to make Prowl angry, but he had to know what Sunstreaker meant when he said those things in the commissary.

Finally, his mentor asked, “Why do you think your questions will make me angry?”

“Because Ratchet got angry.”

“Ratchet gets angry very easily.”

“Not like this,” Bluestreak told him. “I’ve never seen him angry like this. He threatened to slag Sunstreaker.”

Prowl’s face turned hard. “What did Sunstreaker say to you?”  



	7. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
its little, teensie and snippity, but i knew i had to post it on its own as soon as i started working on the bit afterward. there's kind of a large time jump between this bit and the section i would have posted it with that didn't work together, so i have to split them up. *shrug* these things happen sometimes.

sorry this bit is so tiny, though.  


  
“Thank you.”

Ratchet was obviously surprised when he turned to face Prowl. “What?”

“Thank you.” The tactician sat, uninvited, next to the medic at his corner table in the commissary. “You defended Bluestreak when I could not be there for him.”

Ratchet turned back to the high grade he had been staring at. “You’re welcome.”

“I understand why you did it now, even if I still do not agree with your methods.” Prowl very carefully did not look at the medic.

The other mech very carefully did not look back. “Are you saying you forgive me?”

“I am saying that I will…let it go. I cannot ever forgive you for what you said to Bluestreak.”

Ratchet shrugged and took a drink of his energon. “I guess that’s good enough. I was getting tired of trying to avoid you and Bluestreak anyway.”

“Finding excuses for continually missing command staff meetings must have been getting tedious.

The statement was made so blandly that Ratchet had to look at Prowl’s face very carefully to see the trace of humor there. “Primus! You just made a joke! At my expense!”

Prowl just smiled and stood back up. “Jazz would like you to come over sometime soon. He says he misses beating you at that ridiculous game of chance.”

“Your words, not his?”

“Of course. His words would have you stomping over to our quarters in anger and I just got Blue to stop studying long enough to recharge.”

“Tell him I’ll be over tomorrow, then.”

“I shall.” The tactician turned to leave.

“Prowl.”

He glanced back at Ratchet.

“I missed you.”

He nodded. “It was too quiet without you around.”  



	8. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

 

  
i think this was the hardest chapter to write of either fic in this series. it was difficult in two ways: first, blue is finally directly addressing the abuse he suffered. that was tough enough, but the second element was expressing that without getting too graphic to keep the rating where i want it. i know that its "just a fic" and i can have the rating go wherever it "needs" to go, but i feel that all the relevant issues can be discussed in a PG format and your imagination can fill in the rest.

anyway, this whole section was depressing as hell to write. quite frankly, i needed someone to hold me when i was done. i hope that means i did a good job with saying what i wanted to say.  


  
“Prowl, do you have a moment?”

Emdee’s voice was its usual calm tone, but her face was very concerned. Five meta-cycles of working closely with her during Bluestreak’s therapy taught him that if she had that expression and asked for a moment of his time, it was important.

“I do.” The tactician set aside the data pad he had been looking over. “What can I do for you, Emdee?”

She nodded and sat down in the chair he had moved into the office as a concession to the fact that sometimes Jazz just wouldn’t go away. For a long moment, she looked down at her hands as if she couldn’t put her thoughts into words.

“Bluestreak is closing himself off to me,” the medic finally said.

“What do you mean?” The question was real; Prowl had no idea what she meant with that statement. He had learned a lot since taking over the care of Bluestreak, but psychology was still a very foreign field for him.

“He speaks, but he isn’t saying anything. He’s stopped telling me anything of real value. If he isn’t talking about the studies you, Jazz or some of the medics have given him, he says nothing at all. Its like he’s gone back to being afraid of saying anything.” Emdee looked up at him, her expression so distraught that it made him worry immediately. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I asked Bumblebee to find out who he’s been spending time with. He didn’t find out any names, but he said that Bluestreak told him that I couldn’t really help him.”

Prowl could understand that kind of thinking—he might have felt the same if experience hadn’t taught him better—but Bluestreak had no frame of reference for such an idea. Someone he trusted, or at least respected highly, must have said something to him.

“I will speak with him. It has worked in the past.” They both knew that the sparkling would talk to Prowl about things that he would never bring up with Emdee. The system worked, but only because they were willing to trust each other to help Bluestreak.

Prowl asked for advice whenever possible.

“Thank you, Prowl. Will you come to see me after you talk?”

“I will. You have been more help with Bluestreak than Jazz and I put together; you deserve to know what is happening.”

Emdee did not smile as she left, but she did seem relieved. Prowl turned back to his work, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate properly.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak was curled into a ball on his recharge berth when Prowl came into his room. The tactician hadn’t seen his charge look so miserable since he came home.

“I miss Crossfire,” Blue said as soon as he realized Prowl was in the room.

“So do I.” Prowl crossed the room and sat down next to the sparkling on the recharge berth. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Why not?” It was unlike Bluestreak to give him an opening to discuss something the sparkling did not want to discuss, but he had handed him this one. He probably did want to talk.

“Talking doesn’t change anything. It can’t make things better again.”

And there was his reason. “Talking is not supposed to make the world around you better, Bluestreak. Talking is supposed to make you feel better.”

“It doesn’t. Sometimes it makes me feel worse.” Blue curled in on himself more tightly.

Prowl laid a comforting hand on the sparkling’s head. “That is why you have friends and family to help carry your burden. Emdee is not the only ‘Bot you can talk to about your problems.”

Bluestreak was silent for several joors before he spoke again. “We used to live with a mech named Dasher after Meltdown left. He didn’t like me very much, but Crossfire said that we couldn’t make it without him. He was mean, but he always made sure we had energon and a place to stay.”

“How was he mean, Bluestreak?” Prowl wasn’t sure he wanted the answer, but he had to know, for Bluestreak’s sake.

“He yelled a lot. And he called Crossfire names. Sometimes he’d make us do things we didn’t want to do, like scrounging during the storms.” The sparkling uncurled a little to look at his mentor. “You’re not angry are you?”

“No, Bluestreak. I am not angry.” He picked the sparkling up and Bluestreak let him, uncurling to wrap his arms around the older mech. “I cannot get angry about a past we cannot change or mechs that I will never meet. All I can do is keep these things from happening to you in the future.”

“Promise?”

“Yes. I will not let anyone hurt you again.” Prowl hugged the sparkling more tightly to his chest.

“Can I tell you anything?” Bluestreak’s tone was cautious, as if he was afraid of the answer.

“You can always tell me anything. Even if you think it will make me angry.”

“I love you, Prowl.”

Prowl smiled, despite everything he was feeling about Bluestreak’s situation. “I love you too, Bluestreak.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz was stunned when Prowl fell into his arms as soon as he walked in the door. “Prowl, what’s wrong?”

“Just hold me, Jazz. I don’t think I can talk about it yet.” Prowl nuzzled his face into the join between Jazz’s neck and shoulder.

“Sure. But can I come inside first?”

Prowl stepped away from him reluctantly. The saboteur reached out and took his bondmate’s hands, knowing the other mech needed his comfort. “Is it Bluestreak?”

“Yes.” The tactician used their joined hands to pull Jazz back to him. Jazz wrapped his arms around him as he continued. “Primus, Jazz. The things that have happened to that sparkling should never have happened to any mech. I can’t believe he’s as stable as he is.”

“Let’s sit down, love, and you can tell me about it.”

Prowl nodded and let his bondmate lead him to the oversized chair that the saboteur preferred. Jazz sat down, and then pulled the tactician onto his lap. Prowl nuzzled into him again, seeking comfort through as much physical contact as possible. The position reminded Jazz very much of Bluestreak seeking comfort from Prowl.

“Meltdown was a Decepticon.”

“Meltdown?”

“My sister’s bondmate. Meltdown became a Decepticon after they ran away together. Can you imagine the things she did to Bluestreak after he was sparked?”

“Yeah. I have a pretty good idea. Was she like that before?”

Prowl shook his head. “She was a good femme. Strong morals, strong convictions. She was a pacifist. Something serious must have happened to change her.”

“Maybe she was never the femme everyone thought she was.”

“Perhaps. The femme I knew when Crossfire left home would never do the things that Bluestreak told me about.” Prowl sounded more disturbed than Jazz had ever heard him. “I had the knowledge that the Decepticons did such things, but it was only clinical. I didn’t _understand_.”

“Sometimes you have to have it shown to you before you understand.” Jazz ran comforting hands along Prowl’s doorwings, trying to calm his mate with touch. “You know it helped him to tell you, right?”

“Yes. But it did not help me to hear it.”

“That’s what I’m here for, love. I know it won’t be pretty, but you can tell me. Its not going to leave any scars I don’t already have.”

When Prowl didn’t reply right away, Jazz knew he was thinking of some of the horrors he endured as a special ops agent. The tactician was protected from the worst of the Decepticons atrocities by virtue of being needed on the base so much, but the saboteur knew he saw it all.

_Come on, Prowl. You need to tell me or you’re going to short out. Sparkling abuse doesn’t make sense and that processor of yours can’t handle it._ “Prowl?”

“He said that Meltdown never did anything unless Crossfire was gone,” Prowl replied in an unsteady voice. “She always waited for her to be away before the abuse started.”

As Prowl spoke, Jazz realized that maybe he hadn’t seen the worst the Decepticons had to offer in this war.  



	9. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

 

  
i'm coming close to being pleased with this bit. the nighmare sequence is almost exactly what i envisioned. i don't think i love it, but i really don't have any complaints about it.  


  
_Meltdown had locked him in the storage crate again. She had grabbed him and put him in the box as soon as he came out of recharge. She hadn't let him have so much as a music track to keep himself amused with or given him so much as a sip of energon. His fuel tanks were nearly empty now, and he didn't think Meltdown would be giving him energon any time soon._

He wondered what he had done to make her mad this time.

He heard everything that happened in their apartment from the box, so he knew when Meltdown left with a strange mech. He knew that other mechs came and went through the hall in front, but Meltdown didn't come back.

He knew he was alone in the box for over a cycle before anyone came home.

He was relieved--and almost offline from lack of energon--when the door finally opened.

"Bluestreak?" He'd never been so glad to hear his creator's voice.

"I'm in here, Crossfire!"

He heard her walk across the room. When light flooded the tiny storage box, he had to change the settings on his optical sensors to keep from being overloaded by the sudden input. He smiled when he saw Crossfire's face.

"Can we get some energon? Meltdown didn’t give me any before she left."

"No, Bluestreak. You won’t need energon anymore."

He studied her in shock, finally noticing the purple emblem on her chest. "But…"

He didn't have the space in the box to try to get away as his creator put her pistol over his spark and fired.

Bluestreak came out of recharge screaming.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak’s scream brought them both out of recharge with a shock. Prowl’s circuits tried desperately to catch up to the sudden input. Jazz was already out the door and moving toward the sparkling’s room before the tactician managed to sit up. Blue’s nightmares were rarely terrible enough to pull all of them out of recharge, but when they did, Jazz was always the first into the sparkling’s room.

Prowl followed his bondmate as soon as his processor was back up to speed. When he stepped into Bluestreak’s room, Jazz was holding the sparkling and murmuring comforting words. When the saboteur caught sight of the tactician, he waved the other mech over to the recharge berth.

When Prowl climbed into the berth, Bluestreak crawled out of Jazz’s arms and into Prowl’s. The sparkling was trembling as he curled against the tactician’s chest.

“I dreamed that Crossfire was a Decepticon,” Blue said in an unsteady voice. “She shot me!”

At first, Bluestreak’s nightmares had worried Prowl and Jazz. Dreams of any sort weren’t normal for any Cybertronian, so they had taken him in for a special session with Emdee. The medic assured them that nightmares as a response to the types of trauma he had suffered were normal, suggested a few techniques they might use to comfort him when he had one, and sent them on their way. The bondmates worried about the nightmares themselves less now, but Bluestreak was always an emotional wreck after one.

“It was just a nightmare, Bluestreak.” Prowl placed a comforting hand on the sparkling’s head. “It is not real and you know that Crossfire would never do that to you.”

Bluestreak nodded, still trembling. “But it was scary. I thought I was going to die.”

“But you didn’t die.”

Blue nodded again.

Prowl wondered what Jazz had said to the sparkling before he came into the room. Bluestreak rarely calmed down so quickly. True, he was still frightened and clinging to the tactician like his life depended on it, but he was much calmer than he usually was by this point.

It was relieving.

The tactician sighed when Jazz slid closer and placed a comforting hand on his back. The saboteur wrapped his other arm around Bluestreak’s back, just below Prowl’s. The sparkling’s trembling abated slightly when Jazz began humming one of his favorite lullabies.

They sat together comforting each other until Bluestreak fell back into recharge. Then Jazz took the sparkling from Prowl and gently laid him back on the recharge berth. Prowl glanced worriedly over his shoulder as they left.

“He’ll be fine, Prowl,” Jazz whispered, pulling him out of the doorway.

Intellectually, Prowl agreed. Bluestreak would be fine until morning; he almost never had more than one nightmare a night. But, illogically, he continued to worry.

“Love, he’ll be all right. You’re teaching him to be strong.”

“I do not know, Jazz. He is still so fragile.” Prowl knew he was frowning.

“He’s not fragile, Prowl.” Jazz continued leading him back to their recharge room. “He survived Iacon and didn’t break. He survived everything that Meltdown did to him and didn’t break. You’re just reinforcing that natural strength. Bluestreak will be fine.”

The saboteur’s tone was so confident that Prowl found himself being comforted despite himself. “You are right. But I still worry.”

“Every mech worries when he’s trying to raise a sparkling. Its normal and you’re doing a good job.” Jazz pulled Prowl against him and embraced him tightly. “I’m proud of you, Prowl.”

Prowl returned the embrace, warmed by Jazz’s words. “I could never do it without you.”

“Sure you could. But Ratchet would have to repair your processor a lot more often.” Jazz grinned.

The tactician gave his bondmate a soft smile in return, knowing he couldn’t argue with that. He had lost count of the times he would have suffered a massive system crash without Jazz to translate for them. Or, occasionally, to mediate for them and prevent a fight.

“I love you, Jazz.” Bluestreak had taught him to remind the people he cared about that they were loved as often as possible.

“Love you too, Prowl.” It was a lesson Jazz had never needed to learn.  



	10. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
and here's the section i'm sure some of you have been waiting eagerly for. and it will still leave you wondering how exactly sunny and blue will possibly be getting together later. i promise that there is good storyteller BS to cover this. (and the passage of several million years for them to change and grow in.)

this was incredibly fun to write, once i figured out what i had to write. this chapter tried to take itself in a direction that would completely invalidate what i had established in Days in Avalon, so i had to redo the ENTIRE THING. it was annoying, but worth it in the end.

also, i decided to skip the lecture/punishment scene with prowl, jazz and optimus. i couldn't find a way to make it work without being choppy with the existing dialogue from Days. and since i don't want to rework that, then skipping it was the best option.  


  
If he had known the twins would be in the commissary when he arrived, Bluestreak would not have come in. He would have waited until they were gone to get his energon and done some additional studying or played games with Bumblebee and Mirage. Bluestreak loved spending time with the other members of Jazz’s team and they never minded having him around.

Sunstreaker still minded. Apparently he minded a lot. Sideswipe always apologized for the way his brother acted around the sparkling, but nothing ever seemed to change. There was a fine line between harassing and being an aft, but Sunstreaker walked it very carefully around Bluestreak.

Bluestreak’s spirits sank when he heard Sunstreaker’s voice as he stepped into the commissary. He wouldn’t be able to have a cube of energon in peace with the yellow mech around. Sometimes, he wondered how any mech did.

“Shut up, Sides,” Sunstreaker declared loudly as Bluestreak walked to the energon dispenser. “I don’t care if Bluestreak just came in or not. I have a more of a right to be here than he does.”

“Don’t be like that, Sunny. He’s just a sparkling.” Sideswipe’s statement did not make Bluestreak feel any better about his place in Sunstreaker’s opinion.

“I don’t care if he is a sparkling. He can go get himself slagged like that useless creator of his.”

Bluestreak’s head whipped around as the room fell silent. Sunstreaker had the grace to look like he knew he’d crossed the line when he saw the sparkling’s face.

“What did you say?” Bluestreak asked as calmly as he could.

Sunstreaker wasn’t going to back down. “I said you can go get slagged.”

“What did you say about my creator?”

“I said that she was useless. You want to make something of it?”

Actually, he did, but he was smart enough to know that he was too small to really do anything to the larger warrior. “Crossfire was not useless.”

Sunstreaker actually laughed. “Useless and a whore. That’s just too good. I wonder if Prowl knows.”

Bluestreak had known what a whore was since the day of his last confrontation with Sunstreaker and he was not about to let that kind of slur against Crossfire slide. “My creator was not a whore.”

“Can’t argue with the truth, Bluestreak.” Sunstreaker looked smug now. “I interfaced with her more than once. Your creator was a whore.”

He had tried to be calm like Prowl always told him to be. He tried not to be angry. But hearing Sunstreaker call Crossfire a whore was just too much for him.

He ran toward Sunstreaker with a scream. Bluestreak closed his hand into a fist and punched Sunstreaker as hard as he could. The yellow mech fell from his chair and hit the ground with a clang. Bluestreak didn’t give him a chance to recover from his shock; he jumped onto his chest and pummeled his face and chest as hard and fast as he could.

No one moved to help Sunstreaker.

“What is going on here?” Even through his anger, Bluestreak froze at the sound of Optimus Prime’s voice.

He was in so much trouble now.

“Bluestreak? Would you care to explain, since no one else seems able?” Optimus kept his tone even, but Bluestreak knew him well enough from leisurely evenings spent with the officers to know that he was probably very angry.

“H-he insulted my creator, sir.” He was so scared now, that his vocalizer was stuttering.

“I see. Sunstreaker?”

“He started it sir,” Sunstreaker replied.

“Liar!” Bluestreak may have been in trouble, but he wasn’t going to let Optimus believe that he had simply attacked Sunstreaker. “You started by insulting me and then you insulted my creator. Everyone heard him!”

“Prowl’s on his way, Optimus.” Bluestreak hadn’t though it could get any worse than Optimus Prime breaking up their fight until he heard Jazz’s voice. Jazz told Prowl _everything_.

“Good. I will let the two of you see to Bluestreak. I will take care of Sunstreaker myself.” Large blue hands lifted him off Sunstreaker and set him down in front of Jazz. “I want reports from all of you on this incident immediately.”

“Let’s go, Blue.” Jazz didn’t take his hand like he normally did when he was taking him to Prowl. Maybe being punished by Optimus would have been the better option this time.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

When Optimus Prime had told him that he wouldn’t be sent off the base if he went into special training with Ironhide, Bluestreak had agreed readily enough. He would do anything to stay with Prowl.

But he wasn’t as sure about his decision as he looked up at Ironhide’s disapproving stare.

“Optimus tells me I have to teach you to fight,” the red mech told him.

“Yes, sir.” He didn’t know Ironhide as well as he knew most of the other officers. The older mech was not fond of spending too much time at the loud parties that gatherings with Jazz inevitably turned into. “I’m sorry I’m taking up your time.”

“Don’t be sorry about that. I was an instructor at the Academy before Megatron had the Seekers level it. I like teaching.”

“But you don’t look happy for me to be here,” Bluestreak said sadly. “I keep making people upset.”

“I ain’t upset at you, Bluestreak.” Ironhide’s expression lightened into a smile. “I’m annoyed at Prowl for not sending you to me sooner. You might’ve give Sunstreaker what he deserves if you’d had some real training.”

Bluestreak shook his head. “I might have really hurt him if I had any real training. I was angry, but I don’t want to hurt people.”

Ironhide’s smile grew. “If half my academy students had that attitude my job would have been much easier. We’re gonna get along just fine, Bluestreak.”  



	11. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
considering how depressed i was today over my financial situation, it surprises me how easy this chapter was to write. i suppose it was because it was one i had been eager to write, and i really needed a pick-me-up.

that's right, this chapter is 100% angst free. crazy, i know.

there's also a huge time gap between this chapter and the last, but it would have been mundane and boring to deal with every aspect of everyone's lives for some 500 years. so i skipped it. this has the side effect of making Arcee (and by extension Hot Rod) a lot older than they seem to be in accepted cannon and fannon. sorry.  


  
Prowl was surprised at how quickly five vorns passed after Bluestreak moved in. He smiled at the memory of how quickly the sparkling had grown into a young mech and how thoroughly he had worked his way into his spark.

He couldn’t help smiling with pride as Bluestreak “graduated” from special weapons training with Ironhide and Mirage. Bluestreak was looking horribly embarrassed by the entire ceremony, which had been thought up on the spur of the moment by Prime and Ironhide.

For several groons after the ceremony, the young mech continually ran his fingers over his new special services chevron, alternating between pleased with the adornment and embarrassed by it.

“I have to admit,” Prowl heard Sunstreaker say thoughtfully at the party Jazz threw for their adopted sparkling. “I never thought the little slagger would make it.”

“What do you mean, Sunny?” Ratchet turned to watch Bluestreak as the young mech worked the crowd, talking animatedly to any ‘Bot who would listen.

“I didn’t think he’d manage to survive this long,” Sunstreaker replied. “Especially after that last base attack. But he even managed to make it into fragging _Special Forces_. I didn’t think he had it in him.”

“I think you underestimate him, Sunstreaker,” Prowl said, entering the conversation. “Blue has always had a strong survival instinct. And even as a sparkling, he was a better shot than you’ll ever hope to be.”

Prowl and Sideswipe shared a grin at Sunstreaker’s insulted expression. “Boy, he’s got your number, Sunstreaker!” Ratchet laughed.

“I hit what I aim at,” Sunstreaker huffed.

“Sure, when it’s the size of the _Ark_ ,” Sideswipe jibed. “Face it, Bluestreak’s got skills you’ll never have. You do your best work with your hands.”

Sunstreaker didn’t reply to his twin’s comment.

“I haven’t seen you congratulate him yet, Prowl,” Ratchet said. “Aren’t you going to let him know you’re proud of him?”

Prowl smiled at Bluestreak as Arcee pulled him onto the dance floor. “He knows. And my congratulations are more appropriate in private.”

The silence of the group was telling. He gave them all a disapproving look. “I have a gift for him. One does not give heirlooms from one’s creator in public forum.”

“You had us worried for a minute there, Prowl,” Sideswipe said.

“I think I am insulted that you think so low of me,” the tactician replied. He left the other mechs standing and went to find Jazz.

It had been far too long since they had any reason to dance.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak was strangely nervous when Prowl called him into the main room of their apartment. He knew he hadn’t done anything to warrant the other mech’s anger, but he also had no idea why his mentor wanted to talk to him. It was oddly disquieting.

Prowl was sitting in Jazz’s chair with a long box across his lap when Bluestreak came into the room. The older mech smiled at him and gestured to the low slung couch the younger mech favored. Blue sat down, too nervous for his usual sprawl across the piece of furniture.

“What’s up, Prowl? I didn’t do anything that I forgot about did I? Because you never want to see me alone unless I’ve done something that you’re angry about.”

“No, Bluestreak. You aren’t in trouble.” Prowl handed him the box. “I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you, and to give you that. It didn’t seem appropriate in front of everyone at the party.”

Bluestreak took the box carefully. If Prowl hadn’t wanted to give it to him at the congratulatory party, it must be special. “You didn’t have to give me anything, Prowl. It’s enough to know that you’re proud of me.”

“As it would have been between me and Quickfoot. But it is…tradition. I received a gift from my creator when I graduated from special services training, and so will you. I hope you can do the same for your own sparkling one day.”

For the first time in groons, Bluestreak didn’t know what to say. Carefully, he opened the package.

Nestled in soft packing material was an old, but well cared for sniper rifle.

“Prowl, it’s beautiful.” He looked up and gave his mentor a bright smile. “Thank you!”

“The rifle was Crossfire’s gift when she graduated from the academy. When she found out I was going back for special training, she gave it to me. I thought you might like to have it, since you specialized in firearms.”

Carefully, he set the box and rifle to the side. When they were safely out of the way, he launched himself into Prowl’s arms. “Thank you so much! This is the best present I’ve ever gotten!”

Prowl returned the enthusiastic embrace. “You are welcome.”

After a moment, Bluestreak pulled away from his mentor. “But why Crossfire’s rifle? I thought you didn’t want me in the war.”

“I do not. But I also do not think I can keep you away from it.” Prowl rested his hands on Bluestreak’s shoulders. “If I cannot keep you out of it, then I wish to keep you as safe as possible.”

“Thank you, Prowl,” he said again. They both knew he wasn’t talking about the rifle.  



	12. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
some of you may have been expecting what happens at the end of this chapter to happen eventually. maybe not the way i wrote it, but i bet someone was expecting it. i've had it planned out in my head since around chapter three or so.  


  
Prowl looked over the latest reconnaissance reports carefully. The information presented by Jazz and the rest of special ops was disquieting, but he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

The Decepticons were finally centralizing their forces in Polyhex.

“Opinions, Prowl?” The tone of Optimus Prime’s question told the tactician that his leader was no more comfortable with the information than he was.

“Without a more complete report from inside, I am afraid I cannot offer any,” Prowl replied.

“Not the answer I was hoping to hear.” Optimus stood and stepped away from the planning table. He walked to the room’s window with steps that looked almost defeated to Prowl’s optics. “For the first time I can remember since I took command of the Autobots, neither of us can even begin to anticipate what Megatron is planning. I am afraid that any move I make on this information will be the wrong one.”

Prowl could sympathize with his leader. There were many times that he felt the same way as he watched mechs using his plans in the heat of battle. But Optimus could not stay in the war room and keep dwelling on the problem.

“Sir, perhaps if we stepped away from the problem for a while, we would think of something.”

Optimus looked at him in surprise. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you suggest we leave a situation unplanned for since I started working with you.”

“Jazz has been a bad influence.” Prowl smiled. “I am serious, though. We will accomplish nothing right now, except worrying ourselves into processor failure if we stay. A break is not out of line.”

Prime nodded, signaling his defeat. “Perhaps a change of scenery will help clear our processors. Would you care to join me for a cube of energon?”

“I would. Thank you, sir.”

As they walked to the commissary tougher, Prime made small talk. “How has Bluestreak taken to his new position?”

“He still comes to us for advice, but he seems to be adjusting well. It seems to mean a great deal to him that you placed him into Special Forces. He is terribly afraid that he is going to make a mistake, however.”

“We all share that fear, especially when we are new to our positions. He will overcome it, once he has more experience.” Optimus looked almost wistful, for a moment. “Do you remember how afraid I was after Sentinel left me in charge?”

Prowl nodded. “I remember hearing you tell Ironhide that you thought that first mission would get us all killed.”

“It very nearly did. But we both learned a great deal from that mistake. Bluestreak will do the same.” Prime put a companionable hand on Prowl’s shoulder. “You’ve done an excellent job with him; I’m confident he will do well.”

“Thank you, Optimus.” His leader’s words lifted a burden from his shoulders that Prowl didn’t know he had been carrying.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz, Mirage and Bumblebee looked out of place in the war room, but Optimus had insisted they be present for the planning session. With almost no information to work from, Prowl had agreed that it was a good idea to have them present; they stood to lose the most if everything went wrong. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe took their inclusion in stride.

Bluestreak looked completely terrified to be there.

Prowl noticed these details abstractly as he listened to Optimus speak.

“Autobots, I’ve asked all of you here because Prowl and I have discovered that we have insufficient data to formulate a response to Megatron’s latest troop movement.” The Autobot leader surveyed his gathered troops. “I need all of you to go back into the tower complex in Polyhex and gather more data.”

“We’re on board for that, Prime,” Jazz said, indicating his special ops team, “But why’s Bluestreak here?”

This was the part of the plan that Prowl was the least comfortable with. “Bluestreak will be providing cover fire for your entry into Shockwave’s tower.”

“I’m what?” The young mech’s shock was so strong it was almost tangible.

“Prime, I have to agree with Blue this time. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to trust that to someone so inexperienced.” Jazz didn’t bother to try and hide his own discomfort at the idea. He took the safety of his team very seriously.

“Bluestreak will not be your sole support on the outside. The Twins will be there providing melee support for him.” Prime looked gravely serious. “Bluestreak’s inexperience is a risk we must take if we are to gain the information we need to counter Megatron’s plans.”

Bluestreak did not look any less afraid, but his voice was steady when he replied, “You can count on me, Optimus Prime.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Optimus relaxed a fraction. “Now, we’ll go over the details and fine tune the plan a bit more before you all head out.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The team’s insertion five groons ago had gone without a hitch. Bluestreak had only needed to take out two sentries while Mirage activated his invisibility cloak and hotwired the lock on the door. The special ops trio had moved inside then, and their cover hadn’t heard a thing since.

“Where the slag are they?” Sunstreaker asked, sounding agitated. “Jazz said three groons. They should be back by now.”

“Do you think something went wrong?” Bluestreak asked.

The sniper wasn’t any more comfortable with the situation than the yellow warrior seemed to be, but he wasn’t entirely sure what to think. Yes, Jazz had said they would be back in three groons, but sometimes he could be wrong without there being a problem, right?

“Yeah, I think something’s wrong,” Sunstreaker replied. “Jazz is never wrong with his estimates. If he says three groons, he means it.”

Bluestreak’s spark sank. The Twins had been on dozens of these kinds of missions with Jazz; if Sunstreaker said there was a problem there probably was. He was suddenly worried about Jazz.

What if he didn’t come home this time? He didn’t think Prowl would survive that.

“Wait here. I’m going to go see what Sides thinks. We may have to go in and get them.” Sunstreaker pinned him with a hard look. “Can you handle that?”

“Those are my friends and my family in there,” Blue replied. “I can handle anything I need to.”

“Good. I hope we don’t have to, though. We’re nothing close to an extraction team.” The yellow mech turned toward his brother’s position. “Stay under cover. I’ll be back.”

Blue did as he was told, but he didn’t feel comfortable with it. He could fight when he had to, but he was a shooter first. The twins were supposed to cover him against ground based troops so he could do exactly that.

Snipers were too few in the Autobot army to risk without cover.

But the older mech was also right. They needed more information and a second opinion. And he had to go in person, because they had lost their radio signals once they came into proximity of Shockwave’s tower. Either Megatron’s second had finally increased his security or Soundwave was there too.

If Soundwave was in the tower, things could be a lot worse than even Sunstreaker could imagine.

The young mech sat alone in his hiding spot for several joors. When he didn’t hear from Sunstreaker fairly quickly, he started to worry.

When he felt the muzzle of a pistol pressed to the back of his head, he decided that his worry had been justified.

“Well now, when Ravage told us there was an Autobot spy over here, I didn’t believe him. Seems I was mistaken.”

Bluestreak had to suppress a sudden, unbridled terror at the voice. “Meltdown,” he whispered.

“Have we met?” The pistol trailed around his head as she moved in front of him. Meltdown stopped with the pistol aimed between his optics. “Yes, I believe we have. Though how such a weak, useless sparkling managed to survive when Crossfire died in Iacon is beyond me.”

Meltdown laughed, and it was a harsh sound. Bluestreak’s processor froze in fear. He wanted to raise his rifle and shoot her, but he _couldn’t_.

He knew she would hurt him again.

“We’ll have lots of fun together, Bluestreak. It’ll be just like old times.”

Bluestreak whimpered. Meltdown laughed again.

“Get the frag away from him.” Sunstreaker sounded incredibly angry. Bluestreak hadn’t heard a more welcoming sound in years.

“More than one spy?” Meltdown turned to face the yellow mech. “It would seem Ravage’s intelligence was incorrect.”

“I said get away from him,” Sunstreaker repeated. “So move. Or you will regret it.”

The Decepticon turned back to Bluestreak. “Tell your friend to back off.”

“H-he’s not my friend,” the sniper managed to stammer. “He doesn’t even like me. I don’t even know why he wants to help me.”

“Then you won’t mind if I kill him.”

“P-please don’t. I don’t like it when people die.” He was terrified, but Bluestreak tried not to let Meltdown know he was watching Sunstreaker move up behind her.

“Stupid Autobot sentimentality. Looks like you chose your side well.” She recentered her pistol over the center of his chevron. “Too bad you don’t want to play anymore. Looks like I’ll have to kill you too.”

“Not today, you won’t,” Sunstreaker said wrapping his hands around her head.

Bluestreak felt like time slowed down as he watched her optics widen in shock. Then, with a savage twist, the yellow mech pulled her head from its moorings. Everything felt unreal for a long moment as he watched the light fade from the Decepticon’s optics. Then, only one thought filled his processor.

_Meltdown is dead._

“Bluestreak? You okay?” Sunstreaker’s voice seemed distant to his audios. “Bluestreak?”

“Sunny, what’s wrong with Blue?” Jazz’s voice was a little more real, and he turned his head to try and see his mentor’s bondmate.

“I don’t know! He freaked out when that Decepticon showed up.”

“Slag. Sunstreaker, help me with him.” He felt strong hands wrap around his arms and pull him to his feet.

He stumbled along between the two mechs, trying to figure out why they sounded so worried as they talked.

“Bumblebee, run ahead and tell Ratchet I want Emdee in the medbay waiting for Blue when we get in,” Jazz commanded. “Something about that Decepticon has him seriously spooked.”

“Meltdown,” Bluestreak whispered.

“What?” The saboteur’s face was surprised as he turned to look at Blue.

“That was Meltdown,” the sharpshooter said softly. His processor felt like it was finally catching up from the shock of her death.

“Slag,” Jazz swore again.

“What?” Sunstreaker asked.

“That femme you took apart was his creator’s bondmate.”  



	13. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
this is both the chapter i wanted it to be, and nothing close to that. i'm not 100% happy with the turn out, but i had to cut it a little earlier than i meant to kind of keep things in perspective for myself. but i think it works, so i'm not unhappy with the chapter either. *shrug* possibly, i just need to take a brief break from this fic and work on something else. ~~my~~[](http://springkink.livejournal.com/profile)[ **springkink**](http://springkink.livejournal.com/) prompts for example.  


  
Prowl watched Bluestreak recharge on the tiny berth in the medbay with worry. The young mech had fallen into recharge almost immediately when Jazz brought him in, and he hadn’t come back online since. After twelve joors, even Emdee was getting worried.

“How is he?” Jazz asked, coming up from behind him and wrapping an arm around his bondmate’s waist.

“No change,” Prowl replied, leaning into the comfort Jazz was offering.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get back to him sooner,” the saboteur sounded sorrowful. “If we hadn’t gotten hung up by the Seekers, he never would have seen Meltdown.”

“You cannot blame yourself for something you cannot control.” Prowl was surprised by the level of concern his bondmate was displaying. He didn’t think the two were that close.

“I know. But it still hurts to see him like this.” Jazz rested his head against Prowl. “It’s kind of helpless, knowing I can’t do anything for him this time.”

“I know. But we cannot do anything until he comes back online.”

They watched silently after that until Ratchet forced them to leave for their own recharge cycles.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He didn’t remember going offline, but he must have because he came back online in the medbay. Bluestreak looked around in confusion, trying to remember why he was there. His optics landed on Sunstreaker in a corner and his systems froze in sudden fear.

He _remembered_ now. He was pretty sure that the other mech would be angry. Really angry.

He must have made some noise, because Sunstreaker looked up from the data pad he was working on. “Bluestreak? Do I need to get Ratchet?”

“I’m sorry! Please don’t be mad at me; I didn’t mean to freeze like that!” Bluestreak curled into a ball on the berth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Bluestreak.” The yellow mech’s tone was cold. “Shut up.”

The sniper stopped speaking instantly.

“That’s better.” Sunstreaker stood and set his data pad on the stool he had been using. He walked over to Bluestreak’s berth and looked at the terrified mech for a moment. “I’m not mad at you, so stop apologizing.”

“You’re not?” Blue whispered.

“No. Jazz told us who she was.”

 

Bluestreak felt his processor stall again. _Oh, Primus. He knows about Meltdown. He knows_ everything.

The sniper curled in on himself more tightly and whimpered.

“Slag, Bluestreak.” The warrior ran surprisingly gentle fingers over the back of his head. “What did I say?”

“You know everything!” For the first time since he had started working with Emdee, Bluestreak regretted the fact that she had taught him to talk about everything he was feeling.

“So? It just means that I know why you have issues.” Sunstreaker took his hand from Bluestreak’s head and sat down on the edge of the berth. “Maybe if I had known, I might have been less of an aft to you.”

The younger mech uncurled slightly and looked at the older mech. “What?”

“Sideswipe says that sometimes I forget that other people have problems too. And I kind of take out my own issues on everyone else.” Sunstreaker looked down at his hands. “You didn’t deserve what I said to you before. I should be apologizing to you.”

Bluestreak finished uncurling and sat up. He wrapped his arms around his knees and looked at the yellow mech. “Well, yes.”

Sunstreaker gave him a dirty look. “You didn’t have to agree so fast. I’m trying to be nice here.”

“Sorry.” Blue gave the older mech a weak smile. “Go on.”

There was a long silence before Sunstreaker spoke again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’d like to start over. I mean, if you’re willing.”

“What’s a little forgiveness after what you did for me?”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Jazz? Can I talk to you?”

The saboteur looked up at Bluestreak, who was hovering in the doorway to his office. When he saw the expression on the younger mech’s face, he reached over and paused his music.

“What’s up, Blue?”

“You can leave the music on, Jazz. I like it.” Bluestreak came inside as Jazz turned the music back on. He couldn’t remember being in the saboteur’s office before, and was surprised at how unorganized it looked.

The younger mech drug a chair out of a corner and put it in front of the desk. “This place is a mess, Jazz. Don’t you ever clean?”

Jazz laughed. “This is clean. Prowl’s a neat freak, so when I’m here I try to avoid being logically organized. But I’m pretty sure that’s not why you’re here.”

“Is it wrong that I feel kind of lost now?” The words sounded stupid as he said them, but it was what he was feeling.

“Is this about Meltdown?” Jazz asked gently.

Bluestreak nodded. “When I knew she was still out there, I always knew that I’d run into her again. Sometimes it even felt like my whole life was being defined by her still being around, even if I hadn’t seen her for vorns. But when Sunstreaker…I just feel like something’s missing now.”

“Fear.”

“What?” The sniper gave the older mech a confused look.

“Blue, you were horribly abused by that femme. You were terrified of her, and rightly so. Now that she’s gone, you don’t have that fear any more. I’ll bet on you keeping some pretty scary memories, but you don’t have to be afraid that she’s going to come for you again.”

Bluestreak turned Jazz’s words over in his processor. Was the lack of fear all it was? Was that the only reason he felt like he was missing pieces? He would have to think about it more.

“I don’t know. You may be right, but I have to think about it.”

“Take your time. You can’t be expected to take it all in at once. That was a lot to go through.” Jazz gave him a smile. “You’re a smart mech, though. You’ll figure it out.”

The sniper nodded, wondering why he never noticed that Jazz was such a smart mech before. “Thanks, Jazz.”

“Anytime, Blue.”

“I don’t just mean about this. Sunstreaker…”

“I’ll run interference whenever you need, Blue. It’s not always easy to understand every mech you come across. Sometimes you need a bit of outside help.”

“Thanks, Jazz.” Bluestreak wasn’t even entirely sure what he was thanking the saboteur for.  



	14. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
okay, this was hard to write. because its sad and it kind of hurts to read. it hurt to write too. but this is one of the events that's been mapped out since the begining of the fic. it was going to happen, wether i wanted it to write it or not.

but its sad. you may cry. and its only going to get worse before it gets better. i'm sorry.

but, i do promise that it will get better. eventually.  


  
Emdee looked at Bluestreak in concern. She hadn’t had to see the young mech in vorns, but since Meltdown’s deactivation he had been in her office at least once a week.

She was deeply concerned for the fact that he didn’t seem to be recovering. If she could have picked a diagnosis for his problem, she would have thought he was grieving for a family member.

“I’m having nightmares again,” Bluestreak said softly.

“About Meltdown?” Emdee asked.

“Sometimes.” The gunner looked down at his hands. “But usually they’re about Sunstreaker.”

The medic’s spark sank in sympathy with the gunner. “Can you tell me about them?”

Blue nodded. “I know that what he did saved me. And I know that Meltdown would have hurt me again if he hadn’t been there. Sometimes when I recharge its Crossfire’s head he rips off. But usually, it’s me.”

For the first time she could remember, Emdee couldn’t find anything to say.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I don’t get it, Prowl,” Sunstreaker took a sip of his energon as he looked at the tactician. “I apologized to him. He accepted the apology. He offered to be friends. And now Bluestreak won’t have anything to do with me. What the slag is wrong with me?”

Prowl was silent for a long moment before answering. “Why are you asking me and not Bluestreak?”

“Because you’re his mentor! And I can’t ask him if he won’t even stay in the same room with me.” The warrior slammed his energon cube onto the table. “He’s even gotten my brother to warn him if I’m getting ready to come into the commissary while he’s there.”

“Why does this suddenly matter so much to you?” Prowl was honestly curious to know.

“Because I don’t have any fragging friends!” Sunstreaker shoved his chair away from the table and stood. “I should have known it was pointless to come to you for help. You don’t care about anyone but Jazz and Bluestreak anyway.”

The tactician watched the yellow mech stalk a few steps away before speaking. “Sunstreaker.”

“What!?”

“Bluestreak will be coming home for Jazz’s party tonight. It starts in three vorns.”

Sunstreaker looked over his shoulder at Prowl in confusion. “Are you saying I’m invited?”

“I will not object if you decide to come.”

The yellow mech smiled brightly at him. “Thanks!”

The tactician watched him leave the commissary with mixed feelings. _I hope I have not just caused undue conflict for Bluestreak._

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He felt more comfortable and loved at this most recent of Jazz’s parties than he had since that last mission. He was surrounded by all his mentor’s friends—and some of his own—and Jazz was playing music loudly enough to reactivate the sparkless. It was the most perfect setting he could think of for getting his mind off of his issues with Sunstreaker.

He believed that right up to the moment the Twins walked into the main room.

“Jazz!” Bluestreak hissed. “What are they doing here?”

“You mean you didn’t invite them?” Jazz asked.

“No I didn’t invite them!”

“Well, maybe Prowl or Prime did.” Jazz shrugged. “But they’re here now. Might as well let them enjoy themselves.”

“Well they can have a good time without me.” Blue turned and stalked out of the room.

Jazz watched him go with worry. He and Prowl may have raised Bluestreak, but he was trying to battle something now that they couldn’t help him touch. It wasn’t a comfortable situation.

Especially since he had become so withdrawn after the mission where Meltdown was deactivated. The only ‘Bot he talked to about anything now was Emdee, and she had to keep professional distance.

He glanced over to the Twins, and saw Sunstreaker talking to Prowl. He walked closer to hear the conversation.

“He ran off as soon as he saw me, Prowl,” the yellow twin said sadly.

“I saw. I am sorry.” Jazz thought he detected a real trace of regret in his bondmate’s voice.

“What do I do now? I’m beginning to feel like I’m carrying cosmic rust or something.” Sunstreaker’s shoulders actually slumped in defeat.

“He’s in his old room,” Jazz said, walking up to Prowl and putting an arm around his waist.

“Huh?”

“I believe Jazz is saying that the two of you need to discuss this.”

Jazz nodded as Sunstreaker looked to him. “Something is wrong with him, and I think that it involves you. The two of you have got to get this worked out.”

“Thanks for understanding, guys.” Sunstreaker gave them a weak smile.

“Be careful with him, Sunstreaker,” Prowl replied. “He may be a strong mech when it counts, but he is oddly fragile at times.”

“I’ll remember. Which way’s his room?”

Jazz pointed with his free hand. Sunstreaker nodded and walked that way. Prowl and his bondmate watched with wary optics.

“I hope you two didn’t set him up for a fall,” Sideswipe said, walking up next to them. “I’ve never seen him like this about anyone before.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Who let you in?” Bluestreak asked as Sunstreaker stepped into his room.

“Look, I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry.”

Bluestreak thudded his head into his old workstation wearily. He just wished Sunstreaker would stay away so that he didn’t have to deal with this.

“Blue, we need to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk about this. I just want you to go away.”

“Slaggit, Bluestreak, what did I do? How can I fix this?” Sunstreaker didn’t miss Bluestreak’s flinch as he laid a hand on the younger mech’s shoulder.

“You can’t, so just go.”

“Primus! What is your problem with me?!” the older mech used the hand he had on the younger mech’s shoulder to spin him around to face him.

Bluestreak knew the answer was plain on his face as he looked up at the other mech, but he answered in a whisper. “Because I’m afraid of you.”

Sunstreaker looked like he had just had his spark torn out. Bluestreak almost called out to him as the yellow mech turned and silently walked out of the room, but the unreasoning terror he felt stopped him.

“I’m sorry, Sunny,” he whispered, knowing the yellow warrior would never hear him.  



	15. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
wow. fifteen chapters and this monster isn't even half-way done yet. the current word count is 16,857. its amazing. this is my longest fic to date (just barely beating out Sunrise Sherbet) and i'm kind of awed by that. and i'm awed by the awesomeness of my fans. :D you guys are great!

expect a little bit of angst in this chapter, but not too much. its mostly designed to focus on the fact that prowl knows he screwed up and now he's trying to figure out how to fix it.

and before anyone asks: no, i don't plan on smokescreen actually being a player in the fic. he's simply a plot device to be mentioned in passing and really isn't important to the story. he could have been a throwaway character and worked just fine as well.  


  
“Prowl.”

The tactician stopped and waited for Optimus to catch up with him. He knew what his leader wanted to talk about.

“Prowl, can you explain why Sunstreaker would apply for a transfer?” Prime asked as he came abreast of the smaller mech.

“It is a personal matter,” Prowl replied, hating himself for the answer.

Optimus looked at him for a very long moment. “I see. And the reason you approved that transfer is also personal?”

“Yes, sir. It is.”

The Autobot leader shook his head at his tactician. “Prowl, we cannot run an army based on personal problems. I have overridden your approval for the transfer. Ultra Magnus will only have Sunstreaker’s services for six mega-cycles. After that, he will be back here and I expect him to work out his issues with Bluestreak.”

“Yes, sir.” As Prowl watched Optimus Prime walk away, he decided that he hated how perceptive the larger mech could be. Then he continued on his own course to the medbay, wanting to ask Emdee for suggestions on how to deal with Bluestreak’s problem with Sunstreaker.

The femme was not in the medbay when Prowl stepped inside. He glanced toward her office and saw that the door was closed.

“Is Emdee in an appointment?” he asked to the junior medics in the room at large.

“Um, I’m not sure,” one of them replied. “She just closed the door a few joors ago, but I didn’t see anyone come in.”

“That is odd.” The tactician moved to the office door and knocked. A moment later, he heard hurried shuffling, and then the door opened.

“Prowl,” Emdee’s expression went from stressed to concern. “Has something happened?”

“Yes. May I come in?”

Emdee nodded. “As long as you don’t mind me packing. I’m being sent to Elita-1’s unit to cover for her medic for a bit. She was injured in Megatron’s last attack in their sector.”

Prowl nodded, ignoring the shocked looks he knew they were getting from the other medics. This was obviously the first they had heard of Emdee’s transfer; he wondered if Ratchet knew yet. The femme stepped back and let him step into her office and closed the door behind him.

“I was really hoping that we could get Bluestreak worked through this latest crisis before anything like this happened.” She sounded sad as she said it. “But I know that we’ve been lucky to have me here for this long.”

Emdee’s words surprised the tactician. “I was not aware he was seeing you again. I did not think his problems with Sunstreaker had escalated to that point.”

“Problems with Sunstreaker? No. He’s having nightmares again.”

“I was unaware that he was having nightmares. Perhaps it is time for us to compare notes.”

Emdee nodded, and removed a packing crate from her chair. “Yes, I think you’re right. You need to have all the information you can before I have to leave his treatment to Smokescreen.”

Prowl had heard Smokescreen’s name before, but he hadn’t managed to meet the mech yet. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

“He’s the only option we have right now. Bluestreak will either have to see Smokescreen or go without therapy until I come back.” Emdee let the words hang in the air for a long moment. “I’m certain that you don’t want that.”

“No. But I would like you to introduce me to this Smokescreen before you go.”

She smiled at him. “Of course. Now, tell me everything.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

“I don’t like Smokescreen,” Bluestreak told Prowl as he took a sip of his energon.

Prowl had heard the same complaint from some of Emdee’s other patients after Smokescreen had taken over their therapy, but this was the first time he had heard it from Blue. “Why do you dislike Smokescreen?”

“All he wants to do is talk. He never wants to try and help me figure out how to solve my problems. All he ever wants to know is how something made me feel and why it made me feel that way, but he never suggests anything that I can _do_ to fix my issues.” The younger mech fidgeted with his energon cube for a moment before continuing. “It never feels like he’s trying to actually help me. It just feels like I’m there because he was told I had to be.”

“I see.” Bluestreak’s complaint was not the first of that exact problem he had heard either. All of Emdee’s patients would be very glad when she got back. “Have you spoken to Ratchet about this problem?”

“No. It seems kind of silly when I think about doing that.”

“Bluestreak, your mental health is not silly. If Smokescreen is not helping you, then we need to find someone who can. And, as Chief Medical Officer, Ratchet needs to know about potential problems in his department before they become major issues.”

Blue nodded. “I know. I guess I just needed you to tell me that I wasn’t reacting like a sparkling before I did anything.”

“An oddly logical need,” Prowl assured him. “I often talk to Jazz about problems that I would feel silly bringing up to Optimus to put them into perspective. What seems like a small irritation to one mech is often viewed as a very large potential problem by another.”

“So which mech am I?”

“I think we are both the mech seeing the potential problem.” Prowl finally took a drink of his own energon. “But I am uncertain that your councilor alone can help you find a solution to this particular issue.”

Bluestreak was so silent after that statement that Prowl could hear the air cycling through his cooling fans. He was suddenly very glad that they had decided to refuel in the privacy of his and Jazz’s quarters. After nearly a full joor, the younger mech finally spoke.

“You think I need to talk to Sunstreaker too?”

“I do. Perhaps not alone, but you must address this problem.”

Blue set his cube down on a small side table. “It almost feels like you’re saying that just to keep the army running smoothly.”

“I admit that keeping the army running smoothly is a factor; I am second in command after all. But I would much rather keep my sparkling running smoothly.” Prowl set his own energon on the table, finding he had no desire for it after the turn the conversation had taken. “Your fear of Sunstreaker is causing both of you hardship. You are hurting over this, and I dislike seeing you hurt.”

“Sideswipe keeps telling me the same thing.” The younger mech leaned back in his chair, obviously fighting the urge to curl into a ball. “I just keep seeing what he did to Meltdown and I get so afraid that he’ll hurt me too.”

“Sunstreaker does not want to hurt you, Bluestreak. He genuinely wishes to be your friend. So much so, that he asked me for advice.” Prowl smiled ruefully at that. “It seems that I gave him very bad advice, considering how you reacted.”

“You invited him to the party.”

“I did. And your rejection hurt him deeply.” The tactician knew it was a cheap shot at the sharpshooter’s emotions, but it might have the desired results.

“That’s delightful irony then, isn’t it?” Bluestreak did finally curl up and rested his head on his knees. “He’s just so angry and violent about it that I’m afraid that he’ll…abuse me. Like Meltdown did.”

Prowl leaned back in his own chair and studied the younger mech for a long moment. He understood now why Bluestreak was so afraid, but he had no idea how to help him overcome that fear.

Bluestreak lifted weary optics from his knees to look at his mentor. “What do I do, Prowl?”

“Remember that Sunstreaker is an Autobot.” Prowl hadn’t even processed the words before they left his vocalizer, but they seemed to be the right ones.  



	16. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
not many thoughts on this one, even though i fought with it tooth and nail. some of it just did not want to be written.  


  
Bluestreak watched with sad optics as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe entered the commissary. He knew what would happen as soon as the yellow mech caught sight of him.

He would turn around and leave.

Their relationship now was a strange mirror-parody of what it had been when he was a sparkling. This time, it was he who was the aggressor—however passively—and Sunstreaker the mech who was going out of his way to avoid a confrontation. He wanted it to stop, but no matter how much he talked, he could never find a way to get those words out to Sunny.

Bluestreak turned his optics away before Sunstreaker caught him watching. That would simply make the other mech leave more quickly, and he didn’t want that. Sunstreaker deserved to be here as much as he did, and he didn’t want to ruin that for him.

It was funny how he had been so afraid of the yellow warrior before, but now he only felt sad for him. He knew how much he had hurt the other mech, but now Sunstreaker wouldn’t give him a chance to make things right.

“Slaggit, Sunny, sit down!” Sideswipe’s voice carried clearly over the general commotion of the room

Blue looked up to see the red Twin holding the yellow Twin by one arm, trying to drag him back to the table. He knew he’d been spotted. With an apologetic nod to Mirage, who had been refueling with him, the sniper stood.

“Stay, Sunstreaker. I’ll go. It isn’t fair for you to have to leave because of me.”

As he left the commissary, he heard Sunstreaker ask, “What the slag was that?”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Care to explain what that was in the commissary?”

Bluestreak had been expecting to hear from Sideswipe, but not quite so quickly. He looked up from the data pad he was reading to the red Twin.

“He always leaves when I’m there. He shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Well, you shouldn’t either.” Sideswipe dropped into one of Bluestreak’s other chairs. “Look, I don’t know what happened exactly between you and Sunny, because he won’t tell me, but I know he’s hurting. I haven’t seen him react to anyone like this since the femme he was courting in Iacon died.

“I just…I want to help my brother stop hurting. But I can’t do that if I don’t know what happened.”

Blue looked at the older mech sadly. “I don’t know if you can help him. I think maybe his help has to come from me.”

“Blue, I don’t understand.”

“I told him I was afraid of him. Actually, I think I might have said terrified. And I was. I was terrified that if I stayed around him, he’d start abusing me. Like Meltdown did.” The younger mech looked down, finding the words much harder to say to the Twin in front of him than they had been to Prowl. “I know he saved me from her, but when I looked back all I could see was that same kind of violence being used on me.”

“Oh, Blue…” Sideswipe obviously didn’t have any words for him. Bluestreak didn’t mind; advice and comfort weren’t what he wanted right now.

“I had a lot of time to think about it while he was with Ultra Magnus’ unit. And I talked to people and I got advice. Something Prowl told me made me realize that I was looking at everything the wrong way.

“Sunny’s an Autobot. Despite what I may have seen out there, he’s not the kind of mech to do the things I was so afraid of. He has a lot of anger and violence, but he never uses it on the people he cares about. I just wish I could have seen that before.”

Sideswipe stared at him for a long moment. “I appreciate your honesty, Bluestreak. I’m angry with you, but I appreciate that you told me the truth. And I’ll forgive you for hurting my brother this time, because you’re still so young.”

The red Twin stood and turned toward the door. “But if you ever do such an insensitive, aft headed, _hurtful_ thing to him again, he’s not the one you’ll need to be afraid of.”

Bluestreak watched the other mech walk to the door. He called out just before the red Twin opened it. “Sides!”

“What?”

“Tell him I’m not afraid anymore.” He knew it was entirely true when he said it, but he could deal with the bit of fear that was still there. And it was the only way to mend things between himself and Sunstreaker.

Sideswipe didn’t answer as he stepped through the door.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

They were gearing up for another mission. It had been almost constantly like that for the last vorn, but this time was different.

This mission was the largest scale assault they had launched since Optimus Prime took command of the Autobots.

Prowl watched through battle weary optics as troops and officers alike filed into the commissary. It was the only room on the base large enough to hold everyone Prime wanted involved in the mission.

If this plan failed, there would be no regrouping for this third of the Autobot army this time.

His optics strayed to Bluestreak as the sniper entered the room. Despite the situation, he felt a surge of pride for the mech his sister’s sparkling had become. The younger mech was still limping from a wound he had taken in defense of a neutral sparkling during their last battle with the Decepticons, but he wore the damage like a badge of pride.

_He has come such a long way from the sparkling who could not even go into recharge alone in the medbay._

The tactician felt the smile of pride he was wearing turn to a frown. Bluestreak had done well and grown incredibly, but the rift between the younger mech and Sunstreaker had never healed. There seemed to be a truce of sorts in place between them, but they never interacted with each other unless another mech—usually Sideswipe—was present. He felt a recurring sense of shame at the knowledge that he had helped cause that rift, but could do nothing to heal it.

“You all right, Prowl?”

He turned to his bondmate, knowing the other mech had seen his frown and grown concerned. “I am…worried.”

Jazz smiled softly at him, fully aware that his bondmate hated to describe any emotional reaction as worry. “Well, you should be. This mission’s going to make or break us, and there’s not a mech in this room that doesn’t know that.”

“It is not only that. I’m worried about Bluestreak as well.”

“You’re going to have to let that go, Prowl.” Jazz put a comforting hand on Prowl’s shoulder. “We’ve done all we can, good and bad, for him and Sunstreaker. They have to take it from here.”

“I know. But, despite how illogical it is, I cannot help but think that there is more we should be doing.”

“Not this time, love. All it’s going to do is make Blue mad if either of us meddles again. Let him come to you if he thinks he needs help.” The saboteur smiled. “It’ll probably be harder than raising him has been, but its time to let him make his own mistakes.”

Prowl gave his bondmate an amused glance. “And I suppose you have learned all this from your vorns of experience with your own sparklings.”

“Prowl, how many sparklings does my best friend have?”

“True.” Jazz’s innocent question inevitably turned the tactician’s thoughts back to their upcoming mission. “Was your team able to gather any further intelligence before Prime pulled you all back in?”

“A little.” The saboteur’s tone went from teasing to business. “Megatron’s got Shockwave and Soundwave minding the tower, but Starscream’s trine and at least two others are on station at this new refinery. That’s in addition to the ground troops we already knew he had.”

“And Megatron?”

“Mirage spotted him between Polyhex and Tyger Pax. Not sure what he’s up to, but he isn’t at the refinery.”

“Thank you, Jazz. I will add your data to the simulations.” The tactician looked out over the assembled Autobots again, wondering how many of them he was sending out to be deactivated by the Decepticons.

Jazz moved his hand so that it rested comfortingly between Prowl’s doorwings—the closest they would come to a public display of affection in front of the assembled troops. “You’ll get us through this, Prowl. You always do.”

He had to wonder if that belief was not misplaced.  



	17. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

 

  
and here's the big build up for the trip to earth. or as much of it as i'm going to deal with in this chapter and the next one.

and, yes, this first section was supposed to be at the end of the last chapter. my bad.  


  
Bluestreak wasn’t sure if they had won their last battle with the Decepticons or not. Megatron’s energon refinery had been destroyed and over two dozen mechs had been deactivated on their side. The whole battle would have been much worse if Ultra Magnus hadn’t managed to mobilize reinforcements for their side.

As it stood, everyone was in the medbay working Ratchet and his staff to death.

The gunner sat in a corner with Sideswipe’s head in his lap, holding a broken fuel line tightly between his fingers to keep the red Twin from going offline from energon loss. Sunstreaker was offline in a medical berth on the opposite side of the room. From where he was sitting, Bluestreak could see Jazz holding Prowl up while one of the junior medics reattached one of his doorwings.

“Can you see Sunny, Blue?” Sideswipe asked tiredly. “Is he okay?”

“He’s offline on a berth. Ratchet was working on him for a while, but he’s alone now.” Bluestreak hoped he didn’t sound as exhausted as he felt; Sideswipe would need all the support he could get for a while yet.

“You’ll tell me if anything changes, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll make sure you know, even if I have to pull you out of recharge.”

“Good. I knew I could count on you.” Sideswipe’s words trailed off as the red Twin fell into recharge.

The sniper hoped his friend wasn’t more badly injured than the medical team had thought when they came in. He didn’t want to think about Sideswipe dying while he was waiting for treatment on the floor of the medbay.

He offlined his own optics and leaned his head against the wall, conserving as much energy as possible while they waited for the medics.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Was your team able to find any energy sources at all, Bluestreak?”

The sniper wished he could give Optimus Prime the answer his leader wanted to hear. “No, sir, we didn’t. All we managed to find was a small neutral camp being raided by Decepticons for whatever they had scavenged.”

“Were you able to remove the Decepticon threat from the neutral’s territory?” Optimus looked and sounded weary.

“Yes, sir. But all of us were damaged.” Bluestreak indicated the melted armor plating on his right arm and leg. “I’m on my way to medical after I’ve finished my report.”

“Your diligence is commendable, but your health is more important than a report. I can always come to medical, but not all damage is as obvious as you think.” Optimus pointed at the office door. “You can give me a more detailed written report later. Go get yourself repaired.”

“Yes, sir.” Blue gave the Autobot leader a shy smile. Even if it had been just a scavenging mission, it was the first time Optimus Prime had put him in charge of other Autobots, and he had probably taken the assignment a little too seriously.

He moved to the door, knowing Optimus wouldn’t actually dismiss him unless he was in trouble. He had been so determined to report to Prime when they returned to base, but getting medical seemed like a very long trip now. Tiredly, he stepped out of the doorway and nearly ran into Sunstreaker.

“Slag, Blue, what happened?” the yellow Twin exclaimed.

Bluestreak winced. Sunstreaker was not the mech he wanted to be seeing right now. He didn’t want there to be any anger about what had happened to him, or at the fact that he hadn’t gone straight to medical when he came back on base.

“Decepticons,” the sniper replied. “I’m on my way to medical now.”

Sunny fell into step next to him as he limped toward the medbay. “I hope they look worse.”

Bluestreak nodded. “They took Zigzag back in pieces.”

The melee warrior grinned.

“Don’t look so happy about it,” Blue told him. “You know I don’t like killing.”

“I’m sorry.” Sunstreaker really did look remorseful. “It’s just been us or them for so long, that I’m really glad it was them this time and not you.”

Bluestreak knew that if he continued this topic of conversation, it would eventually lead to a fight, so he said nothing. He didn’t want to fight with Sunstreaker, but it almost always happened if someone else wasn’t around to referee for them.

“Please, don’t be mad, Blue.”

“I’m not. I’m trying not to fight. We always end up fighting when we talk about the war.” He was very careful not to look at the yellow mech as he moved down the corridor.

“Okay. I can take a hint.” Sunstreaker stopped walking. “I’ll leave you alone.”

It took Bluestreak several steps to break his momentum enough to turn around and give the Twin a frustrated look. “That isn’t what I mean. I just don’t want to start fighting with you about something stupid.”

Sunny shook his head. “I don’t want to fight at all. I just—“

Blue waited for the older mech to finish his thought.

“Never mind,” Sunstreaker said. “Can I still walk with you to medical?”

“I think I’d feel better if you did,” the sniper replied, as he felt his damaged leg threaten to give out.

Sunny was beside him quickly enough to catch him before he could fall. With practiced ease, and surprising gentleness, he slung Bluestreak’s arm over his shoulders and supported almost all of the younger mech’s weight.

“I’d carry you, but those doorwings make it awkward unless I’ve got you over my shoulder.”

“How do you know that?” Blue asked as they started down the hall.

“I had to carry Prowl back from a mission in Polyhex once,” the warrior replied. “His processor crashed while we were on a raiding mission. He never did tell us why, though.”

“There are a lot of things he doesn’t want to talk about,” Bluestreak said. “I think some things remind him too much of his family.”

Sunstreaker nodded. “I know about that.”

Bluestreak knew that he did too.  



	18. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
i wasn't origonally going to post this bit by itself. i wanted to put it up along with the part i'm working on now, but they ended up taking slightly different tones, and so i concluded that i needed to put them up seperately. (also, because i know that [](http://spotlight-noa.livejournal.com/profile)[**spotlight_noa**](http://spotlight-noa.livejournal.com/) is always salivating for more updates.) its all actually coming along swimmingly; i'm right where i wanted to be at this point in the fic.

though, sunstreaker has been demanding a bit more attention--and interaction--than i had origonally inteneded. i've decided that this is not a bad thing.  


  
Prowl looked up in surprise when Bluestreak’s gear landed unceremoniously on his desk.

“You’re not leaving me behind,” the younger mech told him.

Prowl wished that he didn’t know exactly what the sniper was talking about. But he was supposed to be keeping the plans secret until the day Optimus decided he had no choice but to implement their plan as a last resort. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t play stupid, Prowl. The Twins told me that you asked them to be part of an off world expedition.” Bluestreak crossed his arms. “Your processor must have crashed if you think that I’m going to let you take my two best friends away for who knows how long and not take me too.”

The tactician knew he had lost the argument before it really started; he wanted Bluestreak on the mission. “I did not ask you because you were injured. I would prefer to have both your skills and your presence.”

“Oh.” The younger mech sat down in Jazz’s chair. “And here I thought I’d have to fight you for a berth on the ship.”

“Optimus wants the best of the best on this voyage.” Prowl gave his adopted sparkling a very Jazz-like grin. “Elita-1 won’t let us have her sniper, so we’ll have to take you.”

Bluestreak’s jaw dropped open. “Did you just make fun of me?”

Prowl chuckled at the younger mech’s shocked expression. “Is it so surprising? I am bonded to Jazz, you know.”

“I just don’t think that I’ve ever been your target before. It was kind of weird.”

“I see. I did not mean all of it in jest.” The tactician slid Bluestreak’s gear to one side of his desk. “I had wanted you on this mission from the beginning. You would be an excellent addition to our expeditionary force. It would also be an excellent learning experience for you.”

“You sound like you’re trying to send me back to school or something,” Bluestreak pouted.

“I never sent you to a proper school environment,” Prowl replied. “And that is not what I meant. Here, in the middle of this war, you have never had an opportunity to experience other planets and different cultures. Even Cybertron’s colonies have vastly different social structures than Cybertron herself once did.”

Bluestreak thought about that for a moment. “So, what do you think we’ll find out there?”

“Hope.”

“Hope?”

“One way or another, we will find hope for Cybertron’s survival.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“You think we’ll ever see Cybertron again?”

Bluestreak and Sideswipe both looked at Sunstreaker strangely when he asked the question. Then Sideswipe grinned and punched his brother lightly in the arm.

“Of course we will. That’s the whole point of this operation.”

“Don’t you think we’re coming back?” Bluestreak asked.

“I don’t know,” the yellow Twin replied. “And I’m a little nervous. We’ve never been off world before.”

“Me either,” Bluestreak said. “But what Wheeljack and Bumblebee managed to salvage today won’t be enough to fuel anybody for more than a few joors. We have to try and find outside sources now.”

“I know,” Sunstreaker agreed. “Doesn’t make me less nervous, though.”

“Well, nerves or not, Prowl wants our gear stowed and the three of us ready for liftoff yesterday.” Sideswipe patted his brother’s back comfortingly. “Besides, we’re all together, right? Everything will be fine.”

“If you say so.” Sunstreaker seemed oddly reluctant to accept his brother’s reassurance.

“Sunny, are you all right?” Bluestreak asked the yellow mech. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

“No.” Sunny told him. “No, I’m not.”

Sideswipe and Bluestreak watched as the other mech picked up his gear and walked stiffly into the ship. Sideswipe didn’t say anything as he bent down to pick up his own gear. Blue looked from the red Twin to the airlock the yellow Twin had gone through.

“What did I say?” the younger mech asked.

“Its not you,” Sideswipe said softly. “Our creator was killed on a ship that was leaving for the colonies not long before Sentinel Prime stopped letting any spacecraft leave Cybertron. He still has nightmares sometimes.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Sides. I didn’t mean to make it worse.”

“Don’t worry about it, Blue. We’ve both been thinking about it too much since Prowl recruited us for this trip.” Sideswipe stood back up and gave the younger mech a small smile. “Thanks for worrying about us, though.”

Bluestreak smiled back despite himself. “You’re welcome.”

“Now, let’s get in there before Sunny takes the good berth.”

(Author's Note PS: for those of you following Gravity of Love, Prowl was indeed talking about Gravity in this first section. i couldn't resist.)  



	19. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
i may decided to cut this bit from the fic entirely in the final draft. i don't really like it, and it doesn't flow into the text well at all. i'll make the final judgement later, but here it is for now, since i may not be able to post again today.  


  
He remembered the space battle. He remembered hearing Optimus and Ironhide saying something about crashing. He remembered the crash. He remembered gentle hands and soft voices as his damage was repaired.

He did not remember the amount of time passing that his internal chronometer was showing him.

“Bluestreak? You online?” Ratchet’s voice was gentle.

“Yeah. Where are we?” The sniper onlined his optics and looked up at the medic.

“Well, we’re not exactly sure yet. Prime has Hound and Cliffjumper out scouting.” The older mech reached out a hand to help the younger up.

Bluestreak took Ratchet’s hand and stood on unsteady legs. “Do we know what happened?”

“We’re still trying to get that data out of Teletran-1. All we know for sure is that we crashed on an unknown planet during our fight with Megatron and that we all went into stasis lock. Somehow, Teletran was brought back online and it repaired and reformatted us.” The medic led the gunner to an overturned crate and helped him sit down. “You doing all right?”

When Bluestreak nodded, Ratchet continued. “Good. I was worried when I realized that leg injury had forty-eight thousand vorns to heal wrong. The Decepticons are gone, by the way. Optimus said they were all gone by the time he came back online.”

“They’re still online? Slag.” Bluestreak pinned the medic with a heavy gaze. “Ratchet, I need you to help me get into my heavy artillery.”

“Absolutely not. You can’t even walk yet.”

“I don’t have to be able to walk, Ratchet. I just have to be able to stand and shoot.”

“Blue, I can’t send you out there to fight the Decepticons in the shape you’re in. Give Hound and Cliffjumper some time to scout things out before you gear up.” Ratchet put a comforting hand on the young mech’s shoulder. “And let me see how bad the damage in that leg still is. We have some time before we need to start panicking.”

“I guess I was getting ahead of things, wasn’t I?” Bluestreak gave the medic a rueful smile.

“Like those friends of yours always do,” Ratchet agreed.

Blue laughed as the medic crouched down to poke at the armor on his damaged leg.  



	20. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
this is the begining of what threatenes to be ficspam on the friends list. XD

i had a lot of fun writing this, when i wasn't half asleep while i was working.  


  
They hadn’t had much chance to talk since they woke up on earth. For the first several cycles—days, Bluestreak reminded himself—they ran from one engagement with Megatron’s troops to another, trying to adapt to their new environment in the small lulls they were given between. He was glad to finally have a moment to sit and enjoy some energon with Prowl and Jazz.

“So, what do you think of this new world?” Prowl asked him.

Bluestreak shook his head. “I’m not sure yet. It’s so…different. It seems like everything around us is alive.”

Prowl nodded understandingly. “Organic worlds are sometimes like that. What do you think of the humans?”

“They have some decent music,” Jazz said, sitting down next to his bondmate and passing energon rations around. “And their cities are pretty interesting.”

The tactician gave his bondmate a stern look. “I was asking Bluestreak his opinion, Jazz. I know what you think of Earth and its inhabitants.”

The saboteur laughed. “Can’t help it. I think I like it here.”

“I’m not sure what I think, yet,” Bluestreak admitted. “The humans seem to think so differently than we do. And they don’t know _anything_ about war. It’s hard to understand people like that.”

Prowl was silent for a long moment. “I often forget that you have lived your whole life during this war. Perhaps this will be a better experience for you than I had originally thought.”

“What do you mean, Prowl?” The younger mech gave his mentor a curious look.

Prowl thought his reply over before he spoke. “You will get to see life the way it was meant to be, not the existence we have had to scrape together during the war. On this world, you may even have the opportunity to experience the kind of life that Jazz and I are fighting for you to have.”

Bluestreak looked from his mentor to Prowl’s bondmate. Jazz gave him a smile and nod.

“I guess I never thought about the war that way before.” Bluestreak looked down into his energon. “I never really thought about people fighting to give someone else a future. It always seemed like we were fighting to protect each other, or just to keep Megatron from taking over everything.”

“The war has always been about giving someone a future, Blue,” Jazz told him. “When Prowl brought you home, it just gave “someone” a specific face.”

Bluestreak gave Prowl and Jazz and embarrassed grin. “I didn’t think I meant that much to you guys.”

“You should have known,” Prowl told him. “I never tried to hide that from you.”

“We both love you, Blue,” Jazz added.

“I love you, too.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Jazz, do you ever regret adopting Bluestreak?”

Jazz looked over at his bondmate in surprise. “No. Do you?”

“No, never. Adopting Bluestreak was the single most illogical thing I have ever done, but it’s been the best decision I ever made.” Prowl turned to look at his bondmate. “But sometimes I wonder about your relationship with him.”

The saboteur smiled softly. “It is what it is, Prowl. Blue doesn’t want to let me in any farther than I am. Doesn’t make me love him less. What made you ask all the sudden?”

“I suppose I have been thinking about our future differently, now that we may be here on Earth for a very long time.”

“We may be stuck here, but at least we’re all together.” Jazz reached out and grabbed his bondmate’s hand. “At least we didn’t get separated like Optimus and Elita.”

“Or Ironhide and Chromia,” Prowl agreed. “How they will cope with the time difference, I do not know. So much will have changed on Cybertron that I am having problems trying to process it.”

“Then don’t.” The saboteur’s tone was matter-of-fact. “It’ll just cause us both problems if you do. Besides, we don’t have any real data for you to try and process yet. You’re trying to crash yourself with hypotheticals.”

The tactician laughed and let his bondmate pull him close for a hug. His arms lingered around Jazz’s waist once the other mech loosened his hold. “I would likely be very deranged right now without you, you know.”

Jazz didn’t reply. He simply rested his head against his bondmate’s shoulder, thinking over the words.

“Jazz?”

“I heard you, love. I was just imagining how things would have been if we hadn’t gotten together.”

“Don’t.” Prowl’s tone was serious.

“Why not?” Jazz’s tone was genuinely curious.

“It will make me imagine living without you. I do not think I could do that.”

“Promise me that you’ll try if it happens.” It was Jazz’s voice that was serious now.

“I will…try.”

They both left Prowl’s promise hanging in the air and held each other.  



	21. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
this is another of those little bits that doesn't really go in with what follows, but is still a big part of the main narrative.

its an image that's been in my head for a while, and i'm really glad that i came out as well as it did. like the last chapter, though, it was a victim of my half-asleepness last night and had to have some serious editing this afternoon.  


  
Sunstreaker looked like a sparkling who had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to when Bluestreak found him drawing with brightly colored chalk on a hill outside the _Ark_.

“That’s really good,” Blue said, looking over the yellow Twin’s shoulder at the work. “I didn’t know you could draw.”

Sunny spun around to look at the younger mech so quickly that Bluestreak nearly fell over trying to back away. “What are you doing here?!”

“I was lonely and everyone else was out on patrol or trying to rest.” The sniper looked disappointed and turned away from the warrior. “I didn’t know you were trying to be alone. I’ll go.”

“Stay. I mean, don’t go.” Sunstreaker set his chalk down next to his drawing board and stood, hurrying to catch Blue before he got too far away. “Please don’t be upset. I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone else.”

Bluestreak froze as the other mech touched his shoulder. “You didn’t look like you wanted me around. You looked like I walked in on some big secret. I won’t tell anybody else.”

“Blue, please look at me.” After the younger mech had turned around, Sunstreaker continued. “I haven’t made art since before Optimus became Prime. I couldn’t after what happened to our creator; I just didn’t have the passion for it. It’s been so long that I think the only Autobots who know I used to be an artist are Mirage and Prowl. I’ve just gotten used to it being some big secret.”

“But you’re so good! I haven’t seen anything this good since..." Bluestreak paused, gathering himself a bit, then continued, “Since before Crossfire died. We had this painting that she kept in the main room wherever we went. She said it was Praxus. I haven’t seen anything that nice since then until today.”

Sunstreaker smiled. “Blue, that chalk thing is terrible. I’ve never used chalk before, so I don’t really know what I’m doing with it. It looks awful.”

“I thought it was pretty.” The younger mech sounded crestfallen.

“Maybe it is, if you’re not the mech making the picture. But I’m really out of practice, and the chalk is a whole new thing to me, so it’s nowhere near good. Not for me.” Sunny put an arm Blue’s shoulders. “But I’m glad you like it anyway. And if you think it looks good, then maybe I haven’t totally lost my touch.”

“Now you’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“Well, a little. But it does make me feel better to know that you like it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Sunstreaker grinned at the younger mech. “I was really afraid that I had gotten terrible since it’s been so long.”

“Its not terrible,” Bluestreak assured him. “I really like it. It’s Mount Saint Hillary, right?”

The yellow Twin nodded. “Yeah. Its not finished, though.”

The sniper gave his friend a shy smile. “I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Don’t be sorry, Blue. Sometimes I’m alone too much. You can stay while I put the final touches on it.”  



	22. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
this was a lot harder to write. part of it was just because it was being stubborn and part being distracted by watching old Elvis movies with my mom.

it is, however, exactly where i want to be at this point, and i'm very very pleased with how it turned out.  


  
Jazz was expecting almost anything when he came home, except to see Prowl standing in the middle of their quarters staring at a painting.

“Did you tell Sunstreaker it was the anniversary of our bonding?” the tactician asked as the saboteur came into the room.

“He was askin’ all sorts of things like that the other day,” Jazz replied. “Was I supposed to be keeping it a secret?”

“Not specifically. I was not, however, expecting to come home and find such a gift. Look.” Prowl stepped to one side so that his bondmate could look at the painting as well.

Jazz made a surprised noise. “That’s Praxus!”

“Yes,” Prowl agreed. He pointed at a small building just off the center of the painting. “This is my family’s home. Those are my youngest brothers in the window, even.”

“How would he have managed to get something like this here?” The saboteur was clearly amazed.

“Sunstreaker painted this,” Prowl replied. “Didn’t you know that he was an artist before he joined the Autobots?”

“He’s _that_ Sunstreaker? I thought the artist had been deactivated in the fighting and that Sunny was just named in honor of him.”

Prowl shook his head. “They are the same mech. It has been many vorns since Sunstreaker has been able to paint.”

“You mean you’ve always known that Sunstreaker was this famous painter and you never told me?” Jazz seemed disappointed. “I always thought his work was incredible.”

“I have known Sunstreaker since he was very new to his art. When I was younger, I commissioned a piece from him for Crossfire as a graduation gift.” Prowl shook his head sadly. “He did such wonderful work, but he lost all his passion after his creator was killed. This is the first new art I’ve seen from him since then.”

“Maybe bein’ here has helped him,” Jazz said. The saboteur put an arm around his bondmate and rested his head on the other mech’s chest.

“Being on Earth does seem to have had a healing effect on all of us.” Prowl put his arm around Jazz and held the other mech close. “Even Optimus has seemed less burdened since we woke.”

“How’d he know what your brothers looked like?”

Prowl looked down at his bondmate in surprise. “I hadn’t thought to wonder about that. I assume, from your question, that you did not provide holos for him.”

“Nope. Not me, love. Maybe he got Blue to help him.”

“Perhaps. But in any case, we shall have to think of an appropriate thank you for such an extraordinary gift.” The tactician looked back at the painting.

“Yeah,” Jazz agreed. “It’s pretty fantastic.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Do you think they liked it?”

Sideswipe looked up at his twin in annoyance. “Sunny, if you want to know if they like the painting, go ask. And leave me alone about it, because I don’t know.”

“You’re right,” Sunstreaker said. “I just…What if they hated it? What if Prowl’s mad about it?”

“I think you’d know if Prowl was mad,” the red Twin said. “I think you’d be in the brig.”

“Yeah. But…what if they hate it?”

Sideswipe gave his brother a searching look. “Wow, Sunny, I haven’t seen you this nervous since your first gallery opening in Iacon. Is there something else going on that I need to know about?”

“No! I don’t know!” Sunstreaker sat down next to his brother. “It’s my first painting since, you know, and I’m really nervous about it. But Bluestreak said it was good enough, and he talked me into giving it to them for their anniversary. But I didn’t even let you see it before he drug me off to leave it in their quarters for them.”

“Wait, Blue talked you into taking it over there before I got to see it? _Bluestreak?_ Sunny, I think we do need to talk.” The red Twin’s expression was darkly serious. “What is going on with you and that sparkling?”

“Bluestreak is not a sparkling and you know it!” Sunstreaker pointed a finger at the other mech. “And we’ll talk when there’s something to talk about.”

“No, we’ll talk now. Bluestreak is my best friend too, and I’m not going to let either of you get hurt again if I can help it.” Sideswipe wrapped his own hand around the yellow Twin’s and lowered it. “You guys are all I’ve got.”

“I know that, Sides.” Sunny looked down. “But I can’t tell you what I haven’t figured out myself.”  



	23. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
and today, twenty three chapters seems like a long way. and it is, though its not the longest chaptered story i've written. i can see the light at the end now, though, and i anticipate this wrapping up in another fifteen chapters or so. possibly less, but i doubt it.

in case you were wondering, this chapter would still be fairly early in season one. everyone would have fallen into familiar routine, and a lot of things would be more lax than they probably should be, all things considered. this will be a bit of a turning point for the way the autobots deal with some aspects of their new lives now.

and this section was a stubborn bugger to write. though, i'm sure that some of that came from the fact that i was horribly sick last night. (read my last real journal entry if you're curious about what's going on there)  


  
He liked the quiet patrols when he was alone the best. He may have loved to talk, once he got started, but he enjoyed the quiet too. Quiet was as much a relative thing on Earth as it had been on Cybertron, but the nature sounds around the base were far different from the constant mechanical noises back home.

It was incredibly tranquil.

Bluestreak also liked to share these quiet patrols with one of the Twins. Sideswipe didn’t always appreciate the beauty of the forest, but he did appreciate the quiet. Sunstreaker appreciated the beauty of the trees and the animals, even if he wasn’t looking for a break from the noise of the _Ark_. The Twins brought out the best of both the enjoyable aspects of patrol.

But today, the sniper was alone, and he was enjoying the break from all the normal aspects of his current lifestyle. He was going into the city with Bumblebee and Mirage, but for now he was enjoying his time away.

He was enjoying it up to the moment the missile detonated on his hood.

Ignoring the damage indicators and warnings flashing at him, Blue transformed. It hurt like slag, but he had to have a better view of what was going on.

He knew he was in real trouble when Skywarp and Thundercracker both touched down in front of him. The Seekers had gained some new armaments when they had been reformatted into Air Force jets and his armor wasn’t designed to stand up to most of them; he was a sniper not a melee warrior.

And if he survived this, he was never letting Prowl or Prime assign him another solo patrol.

“Well now,” Thundercracker said with a grin. “This looks like its going to be fun.”

Bluestreak tried to dodge as the Decepticon raised his sonic disruptor.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Have you two seen Bluestreak?”

Sideswipe paused the game he was playing with his brother and looked at Bumblebee, who was hovering in their doorway. “I thought he was with you and Mirage.”

Bumblebee shook his head. “He was supposed to meet us right after patrol, but we haven’t seen him. Prowl said he hasn’t seen him either.”

“Slag.” Sunstreaker dropped his video game controller and sprinted for the door. Bumblebee barely had time to move out of his way before the yellow Twin raced down the hall.

“What was Blue’s patrol route today, Bee?” Sideswipe asked, moving to follow his brother.

“The northeast quadrant,” the minibot replied. “But there hasn’t been any kind of activity out that way for days.”

“Looks like there is now. You know Bluestreak wouldn’t have dodged a patrol or not reported in. Something’s wrong.” The red Twin started down the hall at a jog, giving the smaller mech a chance to keep up. “Tell Ratchet that Blue’s probably hurt so he can have the medbay ready. And we might need Skyfire to help with an evac.”

“What about you two? Are you just going to go out there without backup?”

“Do you think Blue can wait for us to get backup? Besides, Sunny’s already gone.” Sideswipe picked up his pace. “Get another team together if you think you need to. But we’re going now.”

The red warrior didn’t wait for the special ops agent’s reply and he raced out of the _Ark_.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_"Sunny, which way did you go?"_

If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Sunstreaker might have ignored his brother completely. _"I took the back half of his route. One of the other teams would have been close enough to see something early in his patrol."_

_"You're probably right,"_ Sideswipe replied. _"But I'll check the other half just in case. Be careful out there."_

_"You too."_ The yellow Twin turned his attention away from the comm frequency he shared with his brother and focused on the emergency channel. If Bluestreak was able to transmit a distress call, the younger mech would certainly do so.

Sunstreaker sped up when the comm returned silence. Bluestreak would be seriously injured if he couldn’t transmit a distress call.

The yellow Twin refused to believe the sniper was deactivated.

He heard the clang of metal on metal as he was coming around a curve. The sound was terrifyingly familiar: the distinct ring of a metal fist hitting the armor of another mech. Sunstreaker transformed without slowing down, sliding the remainder of the way around the curve. His pistol was drawn and pointed before he had taken in the scene before him.

Thundercracker lay on the ground to one side, optics dim, with part of one wing missing and the armor on his upper arm melted off. Skywarp—despite a missing optic--was kneeling on the ground, over a prone Bluestreak, raining blows down on the sniper.

Sunstreaker couldn’t tell how damaged Blue was, but he could see that the younger mech’s rocket launchers were empty and his rifle was on the ground far out of reach. Looking at the condition of the two Seekers, the yellow Twin managed to feel a surge of pride over his fear for his friend; Bluestreak had put up a hell of a fight.

_"Sides, I found him!"_ Sunstreaker fired as he opened the comm line to his brother.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_"Sides, I found him!"_

Bluestreak managed to turn his head when he heard Sunstreaker’s voice. He might have thought the yellow Twin’s rescue was a hallucination, if Skywarp hadn’t hissed and drawn back as the laser shot hit one of his wings.

The purple and black Seeker turned and fired back at the Twin before standing up. He turned and ran toward his partner, Sunstreaker hot on his heels. Skywarp had just reached Thundercracker when Sunstreaker barreled into him. Bluestreak lost sight of his friend and his enemy as they tumbled into the trees.

The sniper lay on the ground after he lost sight of the fighters, assessing his own damage. Before Sunstreaker’s arrival, he had been focused on surviving more than anything else, but he could change priorities now that Skywarp was busy dealing with Sunny.

As he went over his damage, he heard both the sound of weapons fire and metal impacting metal. Bluestreak ignored the combat noises, knowing that the Seeker was too damaged to stand much of a chance against Sunstreaker, and tallied the damage.

Right doorwing, missing. Right optic, flickering on and off. Chest, torn open and leaking energon, coolant and whatever else kept him running. Right leg, completely unresponsive.

The leg was probably what had caused Skywarp to get the upper hand anyway. Ratchet had been right about it healing badly.

He realized the combat noises had stopped a moment before strong hands picked him up. He hissed in pain, feeling more things in his chest and back tear open. Then he was being cradled against Sunstreaker’s chest as gently as a human would hold a newborn.

Bluestreak wondered, just before he fell offline, how he could have ever been afraid of the other mech.  



	24. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

 

  
i love days when i can crank out two chapters in one day. it makes me feel more accomplished. of course, i did have around forty five minutes of waiting room time to work so that helped. current word count is 25,098. kind of a milestone for me.

my leg will be fine, by the way, for those of you who were wondering. it was a brown recluse bite, but i got in quickly enough that i'll be fine.

and in section two, jazz is listening to "Dude Looks Like a Lady". i'd share, but the file is on my other, less portable, computer.  


  
Ratchet threw the Twins out of medical twice before Prowl stepped in, both literally and figuratively.

“Slaggit, you two I told you to stay out and let me work!” Ratchet didn’t even look up from Bluestreak’s chest cavity.

“Let them stay, Ratchet,” Prowl said softly. “They won’t bother you. And Bluestreak needs all the support he can get right now.”

The medic did look up at the sound of the tactician’s voice. “Didn’t hear you come in, Prowl. Bluestreak’s going to be fine.”

“I have no doubt of your skill.” Prowl stepped closer to the table his adopted sparkling was laying on. “But you cannot deny that a mech recovers faster in the company of people he cares about.”

“The Twins get underfoot when they’re in here,” Ratchet argued.

“They deserve to know what is going on. They are his best friends.”

The medic looked from the tactician to the Twins. The Twins looked back at him with identical expressions of worry and pleading. Ratchet let out a cycle of air that sounded remarkably like the sighing sound Sparkplug made when he was giving up on an argument.

“Fine. They can stay. But if they get in my way, they’re leaving.” Without waiting for a reply, the medic turned back to his work.

“Thanks, Prowl,” Sideswipe said with a small, humorless smile.

The tactician nodded in reply.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz was listening to music when he came back online.

Remembering what had happened, Bluestreak wondered how he had gotten Ratchet to let him have the music in the medbay. “Jazz? How come Ratchet is letting you listen to Aerosmith in here?”

The saboteur turned to him and gave him a brilliant smile. “Good to see you awake! Ratchet ain’t here, so we get to listen to whatever we want.”

“No more time in the city for you,” Bluestreak replied. “You’re starting to talk like the humans.”

“Me an’ half the _Ark_.” Jazz stood up from the chair he’d been waiting in and walked over to the medical berth. “How you feelin’?”

“Like half-repaired slag,” the sniper replied. “Sometimes, I wish Ratchet believed in turning off pain receptors.”

The older mech chuckled. “Yeah, but think how many times we would have lost the Twins or Ironhide if he did.”

Bluestreak nodded, then immediately regretted the action as pain flared up his back. “Aah! How badly was I hurt, Jazz?”

“It was pretty bad, Blue,” Jazz replied. “We thought we lost you while Skyfire was flying you in.”

The younger mech was silent for a long moment. “I’m sorry. I thought I could manage to get away from them.”

Jazz ran a comforting hand over Bluestreak’s head, a comforting gesture that Prowl had performed thousands of time with both of them. That familiar touch felt strange coming from Jazz, but it still had the desired effect.

“Nobody faults you for what happened with Skywarp and Thundercracker,” the saboteur told him. “You gave as good as you got, from what Sunstreaker says. You were just outnumbered and outgunned.”

“And outmaneuvered. My leg gave out as soon as I had to fight them hand to hand.” The sniper couldn’t meet the older mech’s gaze. “Ratchet told me I’d have problems with it, but I never expected anything like that.”

“He told all of us, and none of us expected what happened.” Jazz tipped the younger mech’s head up. “You did damn fine work out there, Bluestreak. No matter how you may feel about it.”

“It still feels like I screwed up. I should have been paying more attention to what was around me.”

“You did not screw up,” Prowl said, stepping into the room. “I did by not assigning you a patrol partner. It will not happen again.”

Bluestreak wanted to comfort his mentor, but Prowl was right. If he had been out with a partner, he wouldn’t have come back nearly as damaged. He could see the anguish over what had happened in the older mech’s optics, but he didn’t know what to say to make Prowl feel better.

Jazz reached out and took his bondmate’s hand. “We all took the Decepticon’s inactivity for granted, Prowl. We all assumed that they were trying to adapt to Earth the way we are and didn’t think they would try anything like this. We all should have known better.”

“You’re not making me feel better,” Prowl said, giving Jazz’s hand a squeeze.

“I’m not trying to. I’m just sayin’ that you can’t take all the blame for this one,” the saboteur said.

Despite how much he hurt, and how unsettled his emotions were after his attack, Bluestreak was glad to see the interaction between his mentors. The last several meta-cycles on Cybertron and these first few months on Earth had not given the two enough time to be themselves instead of having to be officers in the army.

With a small amount of surprise, he realized that he had missed seeing them together like that.

“I don’t blame you, Prowl,” the younger mech put in. “I know you weren’t trying to get me hurt.”

“I am still responsible,” the tactician replied. “I made the last duty schedule and I sent you out to patrol on your own. I never would have done something like that back on Cybertron.”

Neither Bluestreak or Jazz had a reply for that. Instead of speaking, the younger mech carefully reached out and took his mentor’s hand and squeezed it. Prowl didn’t meet Bluestreak’s optics, but some of the tension drained out of his frame.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“What do you mean you don’t have the parts for my leg?” Bluestreak looked at Ratchet in shock. “You always have parts!”

“Wheeljack and Spike used them all for that project of theirs,” Ratchet replied. “I didn’t realize it at the time or I would have stopped them. We don’t need whatever it is they’re building half as much as we need to keep everyone else functioning.”

“So, I’ll have to wait for you to fabricate something, then?” the younger mech couldn’t hide his disappointment. His other repairs weren’t healed enough for him to go back on duty, but he had hoped he would be able to go outside the _Ark_ under his own power.

“Looks like. I’m sorry, Bluestreak.”

“Me, too.”

“Do you want me to help you back to your quarters?” Ratchet was trying hard not to look pitying. “There’s no reason for you to stay here unless you want to.”

“It’s okay,” Blue replied. “Sunny and Sides said they would be by to see me in a little bit. They can take me back.”

“If you’re sure…” the medic seemed reluctant to leave the younger mech alone.

Bluestreak nodded. “I’m sure. I’ll be fine.”

Ratchet gave him a long look, then nodded and walked away.

The sniper gave his damaged leg a forlorn look. _At least it’s still there. Ratchet just has to get parts to make it functional again._

“Blue?”

The young mech looked up at the sound of Sunstreaker’s voice. “Hi.”

“Is it safe? Ratchet isn’t waiting around to toss a wrench at me?” Bluestreak laughed as the yellow Twin slunk into the medbay and looked around cautiously.

Sunstreaker gave him a sour look. “I’m glad that you’re amused by the danger I put myself in to come and visit you. I should just leave.”

“Don’t be like that, Sunny.” The grin did not leave Bluestreak’s face. “I told him you were coming; he’s not going to throw any wrenches at you.”

“You swear?”

“I swear. He’s letting you take me back to my quarters, even.”

“Hey that’s great!” Sunstreaker grinned. Then the expression abruptly died. “Wait. Take you back?”

Blue nodded sadly. “Yeah. He doesn’t have any parts for my leg, so it’s still not functional.”

“What? Ratchet always has parts!”

“Apparently Wheeljack raided them for that super secret project of his.” The sniper’s grin faded. “So I’m still not fully functional.”

“I’m sorry, Blue.” Sunstreaker stepped closer to the younger mech. “I’ll take you back; it’s not a problem.”

“Thanks, Sunny.” Bluestreak let the older mech lift him off the berth. He tried not to wince as the position strained his still aching doorwings. “I thought you didn’t want to carry me this way?”

“I don’t. But I don’t want to throw you over my shoulder while you’re conscious.” Sunstreaker adjusted the younger mech carefully in his arms. “I think that might hurt you more than this does, right now.”

“Oh.” Blue wrapped an arm around the yellow mech’s neck for support. “So, where’s Sideswipe?”

Sunny laughed as he carried the sniper out of medical. “Optimus Prime caught him trying to prank Ironhide in the rec room. You should have seen the look on his face when prime caught him. It was priceless.”  



	25. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
just a short little bite sized chapter to tide everyone over since i've been kind of frantically working on my [](http://springkink.livejournal.com/profile)[**springkink**](http://springkink.livejournal.com/) prompts for the last several days. (and i only have one of those left to finish now!)

i'm not sure if i'm happy with how this turned out, but its going to stand as is.  


  
Sideswipe smiled when he came back home and saw Bluestreak’s legs tangled up with Sunstreaker’s on their gaming couch. They may be able to see it—and he had to admit that he still had some reservations about them having any kind of relationship—but they were a beautiful couple.

They had moved Blue into their quarters while they were helping take care of him until his leg was repaired, and the younger mech had just never moved back out. Sunstreaker had been much happier since then, and Sideswipe had to admit that the sniper fit into their lives like he had been made to be there.

Especially when he came home to see such adorable sights as the two of them being in recharge together on the gaming couch.

As he came further into the room, Sunstreaker looked up at him with a grin. “Hey, Sides. How was your shift?”

“It was good. I thought you guys were in recharge.”

Sunny patted Bluestreak’s chest softly. “He is. He still gets tired easily after the beating the Seekers gave him.”

“I worry about that,” Sideswipe said, lifting their legs and sliding onto the couch under them. “He shouldn’t still be having so many problems.”

“I know, but he won’t let me take him back in to Ratchet.” The yellow Twin looked at his brother with anguish in his optics. “How do I help him when he won’t let me?”

“Maybe you should talk to Prowl,” the red Twin replied. “He’s helped in the past.”

“He’s screwed things up in the past, too. I’ll think about it.”

Bluestreak stirred then. The Twins watched his optics come online silently.

“Sunny,” the gunner asked. “Did I hear Sideswipe come home?”

“Yeah, I’m home, Blue,” Sideswipe replied. “You want to go get some energon or something?”

“That sounds good.” Bluestreak sat up, carefully untangling his feet from Sunstreaker’s. “Want to go for a drive after that?”

The Twins exchanged a look over Blue’s head before Sunstreaker said, “Sure. We haven’t been driving in a while.”

Bluestreak smiled at them, and Sideswipe couldn’t help but think that he still looked very much like a sparkling then.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Hey, Prowl.” Sunstreaker knocked hesitantly on the tactician’s office door. He hadn’t wanted to ask the older mech for his advice, but Sideswipe was right. This might be the only way they could get Bluestreak to get the help he needed.

Prowl looked up from the data pad in his hand. “Can I help you, Sunstreaker?”

The tactician’s tone made it clear to Sunstreaker that he didn’t know where they stood with each other any more than the yellow Twin did. “Um, it’s about Bluestreak.”

The older mech gestured for the younger to enter. “Has something happened?”

“Not anything new.” Sunstreaker sat down. “Not really, anyway. He’s just showing all these signs of not really being healed since the Seekers beat him, and he won’t go see Ratchet about it. I was hoping you might have some suggestions.”

Prowl leaned back in his chair, absently fingering the data pad. “Bluestreak has always been difficult to convince to do things he did not see a need for. I’m sure that he has, to him, a very logical reason not to go back to see Ratchet. He will be difficult to convince in those circumstances.”

“But surely you have some idea.”

“Bluestreak is a grown mech,” the tactician said softly, “As much as we might wish otherwise sometimes. We have to let him make his own mistakes now.”

“How can I let him make mistakes when he’s hurting everyone else around him doing it?”

“I’m still trying to figure that out myself,” Prowl replied. “I’ll let you know if I figure it out.”

“Not helpful,” Sunstreaker pouted.

“Jazz is really much better at this than I am. He says I’m still seeing him too much as a sparkling.”

“You saying I should go talk to Jazz?”

“Perhaps. I may also simply be saying that you must simply be supportive of him until he reaches the same conclusion you have.”  



	26. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

 

  
there's really not much to say about this chapter. it will probably get spliced into the previous chapter in the final draft, but it can stand alone here. it feels a bit akward, though, but i think that's because i haven't really gone into any serious detail.  


  
Bluestreak loved spending time with the Twins, but even he had his limits. They wouldn’t let him do anything by himself. They didn’t let him go on missions alone, they didn’t let him go to the city alone, they didn’t let him go to the commissary alone. They wouldn’t even let him go into recharge without one of them in their quarters.

It was driving him crazy.

“Are you sure you don’t want one of us to come with you?” Sunstreaker asked as Blue checked his subspace compartments for appropriate supplies.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” the sniper replied. “Mirage and I are grown mechs. I think we’ll be all right in Portland.”

The yellow Twin gave the younger mech a questioning look. “Blue, did I make you mad?”

“I don’t know, Sunny.” Bluestreak shook his head. “You guys just won’t leave me alone anymore. When I couldn’t walk I needed someone around all the time, but I’m not helpless. You won’t even let me go into recharge alone!”

“We’re just worried about you,” the older mech said. “You’re still not back up to full capacity since your fight with Skywarp and Thundercracker and we don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Even if I’m not healed up yet, there are other mechs that I can be around who will take care of me! I’m not a sparkling and you’re not my creator!” The younger mech tried to ignore the hurt look on Sunstreaker’s face as he shouted the words. “I’m sick of being treated like I can’t do anything myself!”

He didn’t give the yellow Twin time to reply as he stormed out of their quarters.

“Not that I was trying to eavesdrop,” Mirage said as he stepped into the hallway, “But don’t you think that was a bit hard on him?”

“I don’t care,” Bluestreak replied. “And if you’re just going to lecture me, I’ll go into the city by myself.”

“I won’t lecture you,” the spy replied. “But I do think that you need to consider the consequences of what you just did. And remember what happened the last time you and Sunstreaker had a fight.”

Mirage’s expression was blank when Bluestreak turned to look at him. “What?”

“He does care about you. Deeply from what I can tell.” Mirage pinned him with a stern look. “And he will be deeply hurt if you do not work this out.”

The sniper replied with an annoyed look. “I thought this wasn’t a lecture.”

“It isn’t. It’s sound advice, from someone who knows the results of conflicts like that intimately.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Sunstreaker?” Jazz was more than a little surprised to enter his office and see the yellow mech slumped in his guest chair. “Something wrong?”

“Yes.” Sunstreaker’s simple reply was full of both anger and sadness.

“So, what happened?” The saboteur moved around his desk and sat in his own chair.

“Slag, Jazz, I’m not even really sure.” Sunny leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Bluestreak just…blew up at me. He hadn’t even acted like anything was wrong, and then he just dumped all this stuff on me and stormed out. And you know the worst part?”

Jazz rested his chin on his hands, knowing the artist would tell him if he said silent.

“Blue was right. We were treating him like a sparkling and we were…smothering him. I think that’s how Spike said it.” Sunstreaker rubbed one hand over his optics. “Sides and I just wanted to take care of him, and we just made things worse again.”

“So are you wanting advice or are you just needing to talk?” Despite the situation, Jazz’s expression was amused.

“What is funny about this, Jazz?”

“Nothing is funny,” the saboteur assured him. “It’s just if I didn’t know better, I’d think that you were as young as Blue. You’re having that same kind of youthful panic.”

“Oh.” Sunstreaker looked thoughtful for a moment. “I guess I just wanted to talk. I’m pretty sure I know what I need to do about it.”

“And that is?”

“We need to apologize, and then we need to back off. He is a grown mech, and we have to let him make mistakes for himself.” The younger mech turned his optics back to the older with a pleading look. “Is it supposed to hurt like this, though?”

“If you care, it’s going to hurt.” Jazz reached over and turned on his radio. “That’s the problem with caring about people. What hurts them hurts you.”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Sunstreaker said. “That’s the last thing I want to do.”

“Then you two had better work on your communication,” the saboteur told him. “Because the way you’re going, that’s all the two of you are going to do if you don’t.”

“Hey, Jazz?”

“Yeah?”

“How come Smokescreen is the counselor and not you?”  



	27. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
I know that sometimes its easy to forget that transformers does take place in our own world, and that as a result we don’t usually take events of our lives into account in our fanfic. This is a practice that I don’t engage in, however. If it happens/happened in our world, then I feel that it should be included.

Before you ask, this does mean that 9/11 will be in this story.

But there are other things that need to happen first, and this will be the first of the chapters that start to deal with the real world Earth issues. Because, despite what Bluestreak told Jazz and Prowl after they arrived on here, war and struggle are concepts that we humans are all too familiar with.

Chapter updates will probably be much, much slower from here out. I have to do a lot more research to properly merge our world with theirs. It’s a challenge, but I’m looking forward to it.

Oh yeah, and for those of you who are keeping track (like me ;-) ) the word count is sitting at 28,265.  


  
Prowl smiled at his sparkling, who chattered on about nothing as they walked down the corridor to Bluestreak’s quarters. It had been a good week, despite the rising tensions in the country around them. There had been no Decepticon attacks and they had successfully negotiated a non-interference treaty with the United Nations that would keep them out of affairs in the Middle East as the United States waged their campaigns.

If the conflict broke into full out war, the Autobots would never be able to be used as weapons by the country that sheltered them. They would never be required to fight a war on two fronts. He had helped keep Bluestreak as safe as possible in that respect.

“Prowl are you even listening to me?”

Prowl was brought back from his thoughts by Bluestreak’s voice. “I was thinking,” he replied.  
“I apologize for ignoring you.”

“It’s okay,” the sniper replied. “I was just asking how your negotiations went.”

“They went well. Optimus and I successfully negotiated to keep us out of any large scale conflicts that may arise from the current situation in Iraq. For once, our resident alien status in this country worked in our favor.”

Bluestreak grinned at him, remembering some of the more colorful problems they had gotten the twins out of when they had unknowingly broken laws. “That’s good. We won’t have to try and keep track of the Americans and their war, and the Decepticons and ours. It’s safer that way.”

“It is.” Prowl had to admit, to himself, that he was surprised that Bluestreak had arrived at that same conclusion. He had never seen the younger mech think in those terms before.

“Prowl?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think the humans will really go to war?”

The tactician was thoughtful before answering. He, like many of the human tactical analysts he had spoken with, thought that the entire situation could go either way. There was simply not enough data to give a good answer. “I am not sure.”

“I hope not,” Bluestreak said softly. “I don’t want to lose any more friends to senseless combat.”

Prowl nodded, knowing that many of their human friends were young—or old—enough to have to fight if war did break out. “I know. If it does happen, though, we have done all we can be keeping them safe from ourselves.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The Americans never called it war, but the Autobots watched in horror as the country that had sheltered them and given them a home for the last ten years engaged in it. They called it “Operation Desert Storm” to keep the public calm, but they all knew war when they saw it.

The only blessing was that the fighting was far from their home in Oregon.

“I don’t understand why Optimus Prime is being so stubborn about us going over there and helping,” Sunstreaker said as they watched the evening news report. “It would all be over if he would just let us go bash some tanks or something.”

“And if we get involved, then Megatron will get involved and even more humans will die.” Bluestreak didn’t turn his optics from the scenes playing out in front of them. “We would end the human’s war, but then we’d drag them into ours.”

“We’ve already done that,” Sunny argued.

“No we haven’t. Right now, they’re just victims. Megatron uses them to get to us, but he doesn’t go after them if they don’t get directly involved.” Blue turned to look at the yellow Twin. “If we go in there, then Megatron will decided they’re directly involved and he’ll start killing them whether they get in his way or not.”

“That sounds like Prowl coming out of your vocalizer, not you. Didn’t think you would just buy into the party line like that, Blue.”

“If I’m saying what Prowl would, then I guess I’m in good company. But it's what I know would happen.”

“It's what you’ve been told will happen. It's what we’ve all been told will happen.” Sunstreaker was starting to sound angry. “But Optimus Prime doesn’t know what will happen, and neither do you.”

“I’m not going to have this argument with you, Sunstreaker.” Bluestreak sounded angry as well. “I looked over the tactical information, too. I may not have a tactical battle processor like Prowl, but I know how to interpret trends and I learned, first hand, what Megatron was capable of in Iacon. You can spoil for a fight all you want, but don’t tell me I don’t know what’s going on.”

The yellow Twin looked like the sniper had slapped him. “Slag, Blue. I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Then how did you mean it?”

Sunstreaker didn’t answer. He couldn’t find the words for what he really meant, and he didn’t want to fight with Bluestreak anymore than the younger mech wanted to fight with him.

“That’s what I thought,” Blue said. “I’m going to go see Prowl. I’ll probably be home late; don’t wait up for me.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was a stupid reason for Bluestreak to be moving out.

Sideswipe watched through sad optics as his best friend packed his belongings and Bumblebee carried them out of their quarters. He hated to see the younger mech go, but Sunny wouldn’t quit picking at the topic of the Autobots getting involved in the humans’ war and Blue had had more than enough of it.

At least he had the decency to offer to help the sniper move. Sunstreaker had just made himself scarce. Bluestreak hadn’t wanted either of them to help.

The younger mech closed the last of his storage crates with an ominously final click. “I think that’s all of it.”

“You didn’t take the painting,” Sideswipe told him.

“Which one?”

Blue had a point there; their quarters were cluttered with paintings now that Sunstreaker had found his art again. “The one he gave you for Christmas last year.”

The sniper’s gaze immediately turned to the painting, still hanging on the wall over the recharge berth he had taken over. The painting of the three of them—the only self-portrait he could remember his brother ever working on—stared back at them, far too cheerful for the current situation.

“I’m going to leave it here.” Bluestreak turned away from the painting and walked to the door. “He’ll know what to do with it.”

Sideswipe didn’t know how to reply to that. Bluestreak continued out into the hallway. “I’ll see you tomorrow for patrol, Sides.”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” He tried to push down the pain caused by the younger mech’s words. They weren’t fighting—Bluestreak had made it a point to tell Sideswipe he wasn’t mad at him—but he knew Sunny’s spark would be broken and things would never be the same between the three of them again.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“He left the painting.” Sunstreaker sounded lost.

“Yeah,” Sideswipe replied. “He said you’d know what to do with it.”

“Put it away, Sides. I don’t want to see it.”

The red Twin was relieved. His brother didn’t want to destroy the painting the way he had after their creator died. He must still have some hope. “Where do you want it, Sunny?”

“Just…somewhere where I won’t have to be reminded of him all the time.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

Sunstreaker buried his face in his hands. “Try anyway.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The war that had been carefully breaking out in the middle east—and carefully breaking apart hard forged friendships—faded into obscurity almost as quickly as it seemed to have risen. America seemed to forget about it as quickly as they had stood in support or protest. Things on the planet the Autobots were calling home settled rapidly back into the status quo.

Bluestreak and Sunstreaker were pointedly ignoring each other at every opportunity.

“I jus’ don’t get it, Prowl,” Jazz said as he and the Autobot’s second in command watched the two younger mechs dance around each other in the rec room. “They were doin’ great, then this. What happened?”

“I believe that they have finally realized the difficulties between Bluestreak’s pacifistic nature and Sunstreaker’s aggressive nature and neither of them know how to deal with it.” Prowl’s voice was sad as he spoke. “The only things they know to do now are to try and respect each other’s wishes and stay apart.”

“I know I keep tellin’ you not to get involved, but I keep thinkin’ there’s _something_ I should be doing for them.” The saboteur tore his gaze away from Bluestreak and looked down at his energon cube. “I hate not being able to help them.”

The tactician reached out and laid a comforting hand over his bondmate’s. “Being there for them is helping, Jazz. Both of them are hurting, but we have given them someone to come to for comfort. That seems to be all we can do now.”

“It’s been weeks, Prowl. I thought they’d be doing better by now.”

“So did I.”

“Did Blue ever tell you what happened? I mean, did they have a fight or what?” Jazz took a drink of his energon and returned to watching Blue and Sunny.

“All he told me was that he couldn’t handle Sunstreaker’s constant need to disagree. I don’t believe they had an actual fight, though.” Prowl replied.

“They didn’t,” Sideswipe said, sitting down beside Jazz. “Sunny just didn’t know when to leave well enough alone.”

“What’s up, Sideswipe?” Jazz asked. “Thought you’d be sitting with your brother.”

“I’m tired of being around him while he’s moping. I can’t even talk to Bluestreak when he’s around, and he never seems to want to talk about anything else when we’re in our quarters.” The red Twin shook his head. “I just needed to get away for a while.”

“So you come to the two of us? We’re about as mopey as Sunny!” The saboteur actually laughed.

“But you laughed,” Sideswipe pointed out. “I don’t think Sunny’s laughed since Optimus told us we had to stay out of Iraq and Kuwait.”  



	28. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
no worries, i was begining to think that i had forgotten this fic too. the plot bunny took a brief vacation while i was working on my research, so i worked on some other stuff. as a result, my entry for the new contest over at [](http://tfic-contest.livejournal.com/profile)[**tfic_contest**](http://tfic-contest.livejournal.com/) is finished, and i've made some headway on another avalon-verse fic. (and if you haven't been over to [](http://tfic-contest.livejournal.com/profile)[**tfic_contest**](http://tfic-contest.livejournal.com/) to read the entries and vote for the may contest, please do so! i'm only in fourth place! /shameless pimping)

i'm not too sure how i feel about this chapter. i don't hate it, but i don't really like it either. i'm hoping its another of those chapters that ends up reading better with the whole than it does alone.

current word count: 29,300  
i'm about to blow my estimate of 30,000 words out of the freaking water. that's so cool.  


  
The rec room was crowded on New Year’s Eve, just like it had been for the last seven Earth years. Spike and Sparkplug had brought the party tradition to the _Ark_ , but Jazz had changed the Earth tradition into something uniquely Autobot.

This New Year’s Eve, however, all the Autobots in the rec room were quiet enough to let Bluestreak watch the evening news. Jazz would start the music after it was over.

“Did things change this quickly on Cybertron when the war started?” Bluestreak looked away from the news footage playing out on the television.

None of the Autobots had been surprised by the collapse of the Soviet Union; anyone who paid attention to world events knew it was coming. The event, however, prompted some interesting questions from the younger members of the faction to the older.

“I wish it had been,” Ironhide replied when none of the other mechs seemed willing to do so. “Everything was real slow an’ quiet. We all wondered why we didn’t see it coming when we looked back, but no one saw the signs. The war was the only fast thing that happened in all of it.”

Bluestreak nodded. “So, it’s just the humans? Is it because they have such short lives?”

“I don’t know, Blue. Maybe it’s just the humans and maybe it’s because they don’t live so long. Maybe its just that we had all gotten so set in our ways that no one wanted to admit that they might not have been the best ways or that we needed to do something new.” Ironhide looked and sounded tired when he spoke. “I know that out there in the colonies, things changed a lot faster than on Cybertron.”

The sniper was thoughtful after Ironhide’s statement. He turned back to the news and watched for several minutes before he spoke again. “Do you want to have things back the old way when the war is over?”

“If we did that, then all the same problems would just come up again.” The old mech shook his head. “We can’t go back to what we had before. The only way anything will change is if we do things differently next time around.”

“But not all of us remember what it was like before. How will we know we’re not just making the same mistakes over again?” The younger mech pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them.

Every other mech watched Ironhide as he stepped away from the crowd that Jazz’s New Year’s party was gathering and sat down next to Bluestreak. The red mech slung one arm companionably around Blue’s shoulders. “Well, that’s what ya have me for, kid. I’ll keep ya in line.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Was Earth always this messy and I just never noticed?” Bluestreak asked as he watched the news in the rec room after patrol.

Prowl watched the younger mech and worried about how interested with the humans’ conflicts his adopted sparkling had become since he moved out of the Twins’ quarters.

“Honestly?” Spike asked, looking up from the stack of wedding invitation envelopes Carly was making him fill out. “Yeah, it has been. The media didn’t make as much of a big deal out of it all, but a lot of what’s going on in the Middle East and Eastern Europe has been going on for decades. Centuries in some places.”

Bluestreak looked thoughtful. Prowl was thoughtful in turn. Just what was the sniper thinking?

It was all the tactician could do not to smile when the younger mech turned off the TV and tossed the remote onto the couch. “So what does Carly have you working on?”

Spike laughed. “Don’t you pay attention to anything?”

Bluestreak laughed too. “Usually. But I guess I was just thinking too much. I’ll have to stop spending so much time with Prowl.”

“Hey!” Prowl was mock affronted by Blue’s teasing. “Too much thinking has saved your aft more times than I can count.”

More than anything, the tactician was glad that the sniper was willing to snap out of the funk he had fallen into.

“She’s got me addressing the invitations,” Spike said, answering Bluestreak’s question. “So we can get everything mailed this week. I guess her mom’s getting pretty antsy about it.”

“Femmes of any species get…antsy before such a major event,” Prowl assured the human. “You should have seen how Elita-1 and Chromia fussed over the preparations for my bonding ceremony.”

“Bonding ceremony?” Spike set his pen down, hoping for a long explanation.

“Similar to your wedding,” the older mech replied. “It is a ceremony to formalize a spark bonding between two Cybertronians.”

“So…what’s a spark bonding?”

Prowl almost wished he hadn’t brought the subject up. “I do not think any language on Earth has the words for it.”

Spike didn’t look happy with that answer at all. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Bluestreak interrupted.

“Crossfire said it was like finding the other half of your soul and then putting it all back together.”

Both the human and the tactician were silent for a long moment. Prowl had never heard a spark bond described so perfectly before; he was saddened that he would never be able to tell his sister that.

“That’s exactly what its like,” Prowl told the others. “That’s it exactly.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Whatcha doin’ out here, love?”

“Thinking.” Prowl was not surprised by Jazz’s unannounced appearance on the top of the mountain. His mate knew that he often climbed to the summit of Mount Saint Hillary to get away from himself for a while.

“That’s what you always do up here.” Jazz sat down next to him. “What are you thinking about tonight?”

“My family.”

The saboteur imitated a human sigh—a strangely useful noise—and shook his head. “Prowl, that’s old news.”

“Not my creator and siblings,” Prowl said. “You and Bluestreak, and how fortunate I am to have you. You…complete me.”

Jazz smiled and scooted closer to his mate. As he slid an arm around the tactician’s waist, he said, “I wouldn’t be the same without you either. Love you.”

Prowl smiled and leaned his head against the other mech’s. “I love you, too.”  



	29. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
good gods, did this chapter ever turn into a monster in its own right. it weighs in at just over 1300 words _by itself_. this kicks the fic up to 30,612 words total. i do believe it has become epic. at least for me, which is cool.

i'm really glad that i've gotten my writing groove back again. i was getting a little...glitchy while i couldn't write. of couse, spending all my not-at-my-day-job-time with my friend john (who is not a writer and just doesn't understand) does not help. hopefully things will be back up and running smoothly again after this.  


  
Jazz was both pleased and relieved when the tension building between the human governments settled down to something close to the level it had been hovering around since they had awakened in 1984. The calm resulted in the humans becoming engrossed in more trivial things, like an ice skater being attacked in a parking lot just before the Olympic Games. The sniper had quickly become bored with the gossip and pettiness displayed by the media and had begun ignoring the news. Bluestreak’s edginess wore away as he stopped constantly bombarding himself with bad news and, as the younger mech relaxed, Prowl did the same and their lives returned to normal.

As normal as they could be when Sunstreaker still wouldn’t speak to any of them.

Bluestreak came over every night he had free to play games and generally spend time with Prowl. Tonight’s game was chess, and Bluestreak was losing, but the saboteur smiled as he watched the two of them play. Bluestreak was terrible at the game, but he often insisted on playing it and Prowl never had the spark to turn him down. After a few weeks, the younger mech _was_ finally learning some better tactics, but it was a slow process.

It was a shame that their nights were empty enough to allow it.

Jazz shook his head to keep away the inevitable thoughts of Blue’s “break up” with Sunstreaker. Dwelling on that now would only hurt all of them in the long run; the sniper had just gotten back to the point where he could spend time with Sideswipe again, which would eventually lead into spending time with the other Twin again. They would heal this rift the way they had healed the others; Bluestreak wasn’t whole without the yellow warrior in his life.

“I’m gonna hit the commissary,” Jazz said to the mechs at the table, deciding he needed to distract himself. “You want me to bring you back something?”

“Sure,” Bluestreak chirped. Prowl nodded absently as he contemplated his next move.

Jazz wasn’t certain that his bondmate had actually processed the question; Prowl tended to get very absorbed in tactical games like chess and ignore the rest of the room unless it was falling down onto the game board. It didn’t really matter, though, because he would bring back enough energon for all of them, and it would keep if Prowl didn’t want it immediately.

“I’ll be back then,” he said, walking to the door.

The mechs situated over Prowl’s chess table didn’t reply as he left. Jazz shook his head at their hopelessness; Blue and Prowl were definitely a well matched pair. He was glad that they had adopted the younger mech so long ago; the experience had been good for all of them.

Jazz hummed as he walked down the hall. He was in a truly good mood for the first time in several weeks. The Decepticons hadn’t tried anything major—though that was always only a matter of time—and Prime had made a good deal of headway with getting the government to allow them to found their own city. The city—which the humans had started calling Autobot City, even though it didn’t exist yet—was an ambitious plan, but Optimus wanted to move as many of their people off of Cybertron as they could as soon as they could; Cybertron ruled by the Decepticons was decidedly unfriendly to anyone wearing an Autobot badge. The American government had been surprisingly amiable to the idea—they wanted to be seen as accepting of anyone no matter their origins.

He was just glad that their friends and families would be safer soon.

The saboteur was still humming when he stepped into the commissary. It almost felt like he was indulging in something that was too sweet to be healthy; his family had been depressed and worried for so long that he just hadn’t been feeling the music. As he walked to the energon dispenser, he saw more than a few smiles directed at him; he knew the whole crew had been worried about them.

He heard Sunstreaker come up behind him before the other mech said anything. The Twins had distinctive strides and, since not long after they woke up, Sunny almost always smelled like paint. “What can I do for ya, Sunny?”

The yellow Twin paused, and then turned away. “Nothing. Never mind.”

Jazz put a hand on the artist’s shoulder as he turned to look at the younger mech. “If it was nothin’ you wouldn’t have even bothered to try.”

“It’s stupid. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“Hey, it’s cool if you need to talk, Sunny. I got time.”

Sunstreaker shook his head. “I don’t… Is he okay, Jazz?”

“He’s better, yeah,” Jazz replied. “But I know he still misses you.”

“I miss him too. But it’s better like this, so I don’t hurt him anymore.” Sunny stepped away from Jazz. “I’m glad he’s better.”

The saboteur wanted to call out to the yellow Twin as he walked away. He wanted to tell him that Blue wouldn’t ever stop hurting unless they fixed what had gone wrong. But, as he opened his mouth to speak, he realized that all he would do was hurt Sunstreaker more. Sunny hadn’t made enough peace with himself to be able to make peace with Bluestreak yet.

“Hey, Jazz,” Sunstreaker paused in the commissary doorway. “Tell him I still have the painting, when he wants it back.”

“Sure.” Jazz didn’t know what the artist meant by that, but he knew that Bluestreak would. Sunny seemed satisfied with that answer and stepped into the hallway.

The saboteur gave the yellow Twin a few minutes to walk away. Then he retrieved the energon from the dispenser and went back to their quarters.

His mate and their adopted sparkling ignored him when he came back inside. He had expected that, but he hadn’t expected the sudden melancholy that he felt when he saw Bluestreak looking…not sad, but not entirely happy either.

Jazz knew he was right—the younger mech was better, but he wasn’t healed yet. The saboteur wished, and not for the first time, that Emdee was here. The three of them could all use some counseling.

“Thanks, Jazz,” Blue said as he set the energon down next to the young mech’s elbow.

“Are you all right, Jazz?” Prowl asked, looking up at his mate when the saboteur set his energon down. “What happened while you were away?”

“I ran into Sunny.” Jazz sighed—another human mannerism that he had picked up during their stay on Earth.

The two mechs seated at the chess table were silent for a long time. Finally, Bluestreak asked, “How is he?”

“He’s still hurting,” Jazz replied, wanting to cushion the blow and knowing that he couldn’t. “But he said to tell you that he still has the painting when you want it back.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that,” Blue replied.

Prowl remained silent. Jazz could feel the thoughts tumbling through his mate’s processor, but none of them were clear enough to tell him what the tactician was feeling. He wished that he could; he needed Prowl’s support right now.

Sunstreaker’s sorrow had made him need to crawl into Prowl’s arms like a sparkling.

“I have to go now,” Bluestreak continued, standing up. “Can we finish later, Prowl?”

“Of course,” Prowl replied. “I will leave the pieces out.”

“Thanks.”

Both of the older mechs watched sadly as Blue walked out of the room. Jazz turned back to his bondmate when he heard the scrape of a chair against the floor. Prowl was holding his arms out to him, looking like he needed the comfort just as much as the saboteur did.

Jazz fell into Prowl’s arms with a silence that was as telling as screaming or wailing would have been.  


if the post glitches, let me know. microsoft word was being a whiny bitch when i tried to copy/paste.


	30. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
okay, it has officially been too long since i posted for this fic. i had to scroll down past _ten entries_ in my journal to find my header. bad me. and bad friends at work for keeping me from it.

but, it was with a great sense of accomplishment that i finished this chapter. it didn't go where i thought it would, but that's okay. i like what it did. now i can get down to the really nasty stuff.  


  
“Are you sure about this, Sunny?” Sideswipe looked at his brother with concern at the yellow mech packed a travel kit.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Ultra Magnus needs the backup on Cybertron and I need to get away from here for a while.” Sunstreaker gave his brother a sad look. “It’s not like I’ll be gone forever.”

_You might be._ The red Twin couldn’t help but feel a sense of impending doom he was feeling. “I know. But things are really different on Cybertron now.”

The yellow mech straightened from his packing and took a step closer to his brother. “I know that, Sides. But if I don’t get away from the _Ark_ for a while, I think I’m going to go really crazy. I spend so much time trying to stay away from Blue that I can’t manage to find time to figure out how to make up with him. Getting away helped both of us last time; it might work again.”

“And it might not. You’ve got to talk to him, bro. You can’t just leave things like this.”

Sunstreaker shook his head. “You think I don’t want to? But he doesn’t want me around.”

Sideswipe closed the distance between them and gave his brother a hug. “I wouldn’t go that far, Sunny. He’s just afraid of hurting you again.”

The artist made a displeased noise. “Like you know.”

“He talks to me. And I can tell he misses you.”

“Then he’s crazier than I am; all I’ve ever done is hurt him.”

Sideswipe took Sunstreaker by the shoulders and held him at arm’s length. “No, that’s not all you’ve done. You make him happy, Sunny. And he makes you happy too. At least talk to him before you leave, please.”

Sunstreaker sighed, a habit he’d picked up from Jazz. Sideswipe knew he had convinced his brother to finally see Bluestreak. “I’m not going to stay away from Cybertron,” the yellow Twin said, “But I’ll try.”

The red Twin smiled.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Bluestreak was both pleased and relieved that Bumblebee had let him move into his quarters when he left the Twins’. It had saved him the agony of having to explain to Prowl what had happened and ask to move back into his mentor’s quarters, and he had the luxury of living with one of his best friends. He and the spy had some good times in the evenings when he wasn’t on duty or with Prowl and Jazz.

They were playing a card game online with Chip, something they had introduced the human to for a change, when someone knocked on the door. Bluestreak took his turn then stood. “I’ll get it,” he told Bumblebee.

“Okay,” Bee answered, slightly distracted by the game.

Bluestreak walked to the door and opened, expecting to see Mirage—who had said he might come over tonight—or Jazz with Bumblebee’s next mission.

Sunstreaker looked as surprised as he felt.

“What are you doing here?” Blue asked.

“I came to say goodbye,” Sunny replied. “I’m heading back to Cybertron tomorrow morning.”

“Cybertron? Why?” The sniper felt like he had been punched. He and Sunstreaker may not have been speaking right now, but he didn’t want the yellow Twin to leave.

“I’m helping Ultra Magnus’ unit get ready for the troop transfer when Autobot City is finished.”

“But you’re coming back, right?” The words were out of Bluestreak’s vocalizer before he had really processed what they might mean. “You’re not going to stay there, are you?”

He didn’t know what the change in Sunstreaker’s expression meant, but the yellow Twin’s posture changed entirely. “Yeah, Blue, I’ll be coming back. I can’t leave Sides alone.”

Blue could almost feel the weight of words unsaid, but he smiled anyway. “I guess we’ll talk when you get back, then.”

“Sure. I’ll see you around.” Sunny smiled back.

Bumblebee looked at him in surprise when he closed the door. “Was that Sunstreaker?”

“Yeah,” Bluestreak replied as he walked back over to the computer and sat down. “He’s going back to Cybertron for a while.”

“Cybertron?! But Cybertron’s a mess!” The special ops agent looked like he wanted to say more, but he stopped himself.

“I know,” Blue replied quietly. “And I’m afraid something will happen to him while he’s there, but Ultra Magnus needs all the help he can get right now. Why does it matter to you, anyway?”

Bumblebee might have been offended if it wasn’t common knowledge that none of the minibots liked Sunstreaker. “Because it matters to you, as much as you might pretend that it doesn’t.”

“I’m not trying to pretend it doesn’t matter. I just don’t know how to tell him that I miss him.” The sniper pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

“You just have to say it, Blue. I know it sounds easier than it is, but that’s what you have to do.” Bumblebee put a comforting hand on the younger mech’s shoulder.

“When he gets back,” Bluestreak replied. “I’ll tell him when he gets back.”  



	31. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
finally.

i fought this chapter for days, trying to get something to come out of it. having so many WIPs right now is really working against me; the bunnies can't seem to decide what to work on. maybe this will free them up some.

 

anyway, this chapter has a slightly different tone. to me, at least; you may not agree. i wanted to show sunny's softer side, and i thik i accomplished that. i also wanted to reflect that blue has really admitted to himself just how he feels about him. its also leading up to the really horrible parts. sorry gang, those do come next.  


  
Things were so bad on Cybertron that Sunstreaker didn’t have time to regret his decision to volunteer to help Ultra Magnus’ unit. They were constantly hounded by Decepticons, and by virtue of his specialty he was always fighting them off long enough for the rest of the unit to escape. He wasn’t usually alone in the fighting, but there were few enough of them covering escapes that they were all bone weary.

He had no idea how Ultra Magnus and Elita-1 had kept this up for four million years.

His bunkmate looked at him worriedly when he dropped into his recharge berth with a groan of exhaustion. “Are you okay, Sunstreaker?”

Sunstreaker looked over at him with dim optics. “I’m fine, Tripwire. Just tired. Things are a lot worse here than they were on Earth.”

Tripwire was quiet for a moment. “What’s it like?”

“What, Earth?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s really green.” Sunstreaker smiled as he thought of the planet that had somehow become his home. “Everything is so alive and the humans are great. It’s really peaceful. You’ll like it.”

Tripwire’s expression turned thoughtful at that statement. He looked so much like Bluestreak then that Sunstreaker wondered how old the other mech was.

“Will you tell me more?” Tripwire asked after a moment.

“Sure.” Sunstreaker smiled again. Despite his exhaustion, he found himself wanting to tell the other mech about Earth. It might have been because Tripwire was reminding him of Bluestreak, but he was excited to be sharing the details of his new found home with his bunkmate.

He hadn’t felt like he could call any place home for a very long time.

“Humans,” The artist said, holding his hand an Earth meter off the floor, “Are only about this big. And they’re organic, so they’re really fragile. But they’re smart and inventive and loyal to their friends.”

Tripwire listened with rapt attention as Sunstreaker continued to describe Earth and its inhabitants. He talked about the people he had met and the places he had seen. He described the climates and the different weather they could bring. He talked about Sides and Blue and how Optimus Prime had kept them all from going crazy that first year with his steady leadership.

In hesitant tones, he talked about finding his art again.

“Wow,” Tripwire said softly when he finished. “I didn’t know you were an artist. You’re so…”

“I know,” Sunny interrupted. “I have some issues. But I’m working them out.”

“Will you draw Earth for me, Sunstreaker?” The younger—Sunstreaker knew he had to be younger—mech’s tone was hopeful.

“I guess I can, if we can find some supplies. I didn’t bring my art stuff with me,” the yellow Twin was surprised and touched by the request. Just from Tripwire’s tone, he could tell that the other mech didn’t want something for himself, exactly. He wanted something to show him the world he had just been told about. Sunny realized that he _wanted_ to sketch Mount St. Hillary and the surrounding forests for this mech who reminded him so much of Bluestreak.

“Thanks,” Tripwire replied tiredly.

“No problem. Now get some recharge, Trip.”

The younger mech didn’t reply, having fallen into recharge before Sunstreaker said anything. That was a lot like Bluestreak, too.

_Primus, I miss him. I can’t wait until we’re done here and I can get back home._

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“He’s all right, Blue.”

Bluestreak turned to look at Sideswipe in surprise; he hadn’t heard the older mech coming. “Hey. And I know. You would have told me if anything had happened.”

“You’ve been sitting up here a lot lately. You have something on your mind?” Sideswipe sat down next to him.

“Not really. I mean, nothing that we haven’t already talked about anyway. It just makes me feel closer to him to sit up here.” Bluestreak gave the red Twin a shy smile. “That sounds stupid, huh?”

“Not really. Sunny comes out here a lot to paint. He likes the view.” Sides gave him a one-armed hug. “He’ll come back soon.”

“I wish soon was now. I miss him.”

“He misses you too.”

“I know. Hey, Sides?”

“Yeah?”

“How does he feel about me?” Bluestreak said the words in a rush, needing to get them out before he lost all his nerve.

“That’s a better question for Sunny, you know.” Sideswipe’s tone was thoughtful. “I don’t think that’s something I should answer for him.”

“I just wanted to know where I stand with him before I said something to him that I can’t take back.”

The red Twin tipped Bluestreak’s face up so their optics met. “What do you want to say to my brother?”

Blue’s expression was slightly fearful and his voice was tentative. “That I’m sorry, and I love him and I don’t ever want to do this again.”

Sideswipe’s expression softened. “I think you’re safe with that.”  



	32. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
i have a great sense of having something finished with this chapter. i think it was successfully the transition point from life with prowl to what is going to happen after he dies. (which will, for certain, be in the next chapter.) i'm not going to put the tissue warning on this chapter, but if you were adversely affected by september 11, 2001 then you might want to have some ready for the memories i'm going to dredge up.  


  
From the moment they received the go ahead to start construction, everything about the Autobot city project moved quickly. Everyone on Earth helped in one way or another with the construction, even if it was only something as simple as Swoop ferrying energon in to the workers or Hound clearing a bird’s nest from one of the security sensors. Their work was interrupted from time to time by Decepticon attacks or plots, but overall it went very smoothly.

During the course of the construction, mechs and a few femmes had trickled in from Cybertron to assist with the construction of the city and to ease the neighboring Humans into the idea of many more Autobots living in their vicinity. Bluestreak made several new friends among them.

He also pumped any new arrival he could find for information about Sunstreaker.

Most of them didn’t know Sunny, but they knew of him. Any of the new arrivals were able to at least give him news about his…friend; he hesitated to call him anything else, until he knew how the other mech felt about him. Blue was always given decent news: Sunstreaker was drawing pictures of Earth and handing them out to any mech who asked for one; Sunstreaker had been hurt raiding a Decepticon storehouse, but he was all right; Sunstreaker misses Earth and can’t wait to come home.

That last bit was always the one Bluestreak was happiest to hear; Sunstreaker wanted to come home. He knew, more than anyone aside from Sideswipe, what that meant for the yellow Twin. Home was more about people you loved than any one place to live.

It was Arcee—and her friends Springer and Hot Rod—who brought him the best news of all.

“How are you Bluestreak?” the delicate looking femme asked as she climbed into his lookout station, followed closely by the other two.

“Arcee!” Bluestreak had to admit to no small amount of surprise to her in the lookout station. He hadn’t seen her since his graduation party. No one had told him she was being stationed on Earth. The sniper jumped up to give her a hug. “I’m good. How are you?”

“Better now that we’ll have a chance to relax finally,” Arcee replied. “This place is just as pretty as Sunstreaker said it would be.”

“Sure,” Hot Rod agreed sarcastically. “As long as you’re into trees and dirt.”

Bluestreak chose to ignore the other mech. “Have you seen Sunny? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, Blue.” The femme gave him a smile. “He asked us to give you something for him.”

“Really?” The sniper knew he sounded like a sparkling, but he was always delighted when Sunstreaker gave him something.

Springer chuckled at his response and pulled a small package out of subspace. “I hope that whatever’s in here was worth the climb. These hills are something else.”

“They aren’t normally this bad; it rained this morning so things are muddy.” Blue took the package carefully, not wanting to accidentally damage whatever was inside. He couldn’t believe that Sunny had gone to the trouble of sending him something from war-torn Cybertron. With unsteady fingers, he began opening the package.

“Muddy?” Hot Rod asked.

“Yeah. Mud is what Humans call it when water gets mixed with dirt. It gets all over, but it washes right off.” Bluestreak was distracted as he looked through the contents of the package. Most of it was sketches, with subjects ranging to friends they had known before the _Ark_ left to fallen soldiers on a ruined battlefield. Each picture had a title and caption in Sunstreaker’s flowing handwriting. Looking at the pictures made him feel a mix of sorrow and happiness; the subject matter wasn’t always happy, but he was very glad the yellow Twin hadn’t lost his art again. Nestled at the bottom of the package was a data pad. Quickly, he pulled the data up.

It was a short note. _Give Sides my love. I miss you guys, but I’ll be home soon._

“Thank you,” he said once he was finished looking. “It means a lot that you would bring these to me.”

“We had to,” Hot Rod said. “He wouldn’t shut up until we agreed.”

Arcee slapped him lightly in the chest. “We would have brought them anyway. You’re welcome.”

“Um…my duty shift is over in another hour. You guys want a tour? As a thank you?” The sniper gave them a hopeful grin. It would be nice to have someone closer to his age—though not much closer—to spend some time with.

“That would be nice,” Arcee said.

“Much better than following Hot Rod around and getting lost,” Springer agreed.

“Hey!” The red mech protested. “That was one time! _One. Time._ It’s not my fault that Ultra Magnus changed the layout of the base while we were on a mission.”

Arcee and Springer shared a laugh at their friend. “We’ll see you in an…hour then.”

“As soon as you tell us what an hour is,” Hot Rod added.

After the three friends left, Bluestreak spent the rest of the day being torn between missing Sunstreaker so much that it hurt and not being able to wait to see him again.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Once it got started, Optimus Prime’s moon base plan moved as quickly as the Autobot City project had. Even now, weeks after Prime had discussed the plan with him and well into the construction phase for the bases, Prowl still wasn’t certain that he thought it was truly feasible. He didn’t deny that it was far too dangerous to allow the Decepticons to remain in charge of Cybertron, but it was also dangerous to be staging their operations in such an easily accessible place. On Earth, they had the advantage of knowing their enemy was only able to use the spacebridge for transport between the worlds to spy on them; on the moons of Cybertron, most of the Decepticon spies would be able to sneak into the base under their own power.

The high ground did them no good when the enemy was capable of flight.

Jazz didn’t like the idea much more than he did, but for different reasons. Jazz’s primary concern was leaving a command crew in charge of the Earth base that was completely inexperienced in dealing with humans. Ultra Magnus and his command staff were capable officers, but they had spent the last forty eight thousand vorns fighting a war. They thought like warriors not diplomats and that could very easily make accidental enemies out of current allies.

Optimus had given them both a sad smile. “I know that your concerns are valid, old friends. But I believe that these are risks that we must take if Cybertron is to survive. While I have come to love Earth and its inhabitants as much as you have, it is too far away to be able to strike decisively against Megatron when he is vulnerable.”

Prowl and Jazz both recognized the tone in Optimus’ voice. Nothing they could argue would sway his decision. The moon base project would continue despite their protests.

“At least consider keeping one of us here on Earth for a while,” Jazz said. “Just until Ultra Magnus and his staff are used to working with the Humans.”

“Which of you would you recommend I leave behind, Jazz?” The Autobot leader’s tone was humoring now. Prowl knew Jazz had lost this argument before it had really even begun.

“Ironhide,” Jazz replied without hesitation. “He gets along well with the humans and knows how to run this kind of outpost.”

Prime actually considered the suggestion for a moment before shaking his head. “He would always think that we left him here because he’s getting old. I don’t think he would forgive any of us for that.”

Jazz was silent.

“Optimus is right, Jazz. Ironhide would never forgive us if we left him here. And he will need the rest of us on the bases.” Prowl took his bondmate’s hand, a gesture of affection he would never have made in front of the other officers. “We are, quite simply, outvoted this time.”

Jazz sighed. “I still don’t like it, Optimus, but I’ll back you up. Maybe it’s a better idea than Prowl and I think. We could just be lookin’ for reasons to stay on this nice little mostly peaceful planet.”

“Aren’t we all?” Optimus replied.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz and Prowl were enjoying a moment of relaxation in the rec room for the first time in days when Bluestreak ran in and went straight for the television. It had been a bit remarkable that they had been alone until then; Shockwave’s army had forced Ultra Magnus and the remainder of his troops to take the space ships remaining to them and flee to Earth. They had arrived three days ago, and everything had been chaos since.

“Blue, what’s wrong?” Jazz asked as the younger mech turned on the TV.

“Blaster and I heard something on the radio, but it didn’t make sense.” Bluestreak quickly turned to his favorite news channel.

On the screen was the World Trade Center in New York City, one tower billowing black smoke. As they listened to the reporter talk about a plane flying into the tower, a second airplane—a _passenger_ plane—flew directly into the second tower.

The news reporter was shocked into silence at the second strike. It was a silence echoed by the three Autobots.

“Oh, Primus,” Bluestreak finally whispered.

Jazz reached for Prowl’s hand and gripped it tightly. Prowl returned the saboteur’s grasp with as much force. Neither of them had to ask to know that the other was remembering a day thousands of vorns ago when a pair of Seekers did something very similar to the senate building in Iacon.

“Call Prime,” Prowl told them softly. “Tell him what has happened. I will begin finding volunteers to help with rescues in the city.”

Prowl stood, pulling his hand from Jazz’s reluctantly. “Will you be coming to New York?”

“We can’t both go,” Jazz replied. “You take the search and rescue team. I’ll handle damage control back here.”

The tactician nodded and turned to leave the room. Bluestreak’s voice followed him. “Oh, Primus. They’re falling…”  



	33. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
holy gods did this take forever and a day to manage to get out. it just totally stalled out right in the middle of that little section from jazz's POV. so annoying.

but i gots tons of ficcing done at work today. *shhh* finished this chapter and one of "Gravity of Love". i'm pretty happy with what i got done.  


  
“I wish you weren’t going.”

Bluestreak’s words cut across Prowl’s spark. He felt sure that the younger mech felt like he was being abandoned. All of his friends and family—except for Sideswipe were being reassigned to the moon bases. Even Sunstreaker was being pulled from his position with Elita-1’s troops and being moved to one of the moons.

No one had the heart to let the sniper know about those new orders.

“I wish we weren’t going, too,” Jazz told the sniper. “Prowl and I both wanted to keep our base of operations here, but Optimus didn’t agree.”

“We will keep in contact,” Prowl assured him. “And we will visit as often as we can.”

“I know,” Blue said, giving Prowl a tight hug. “But I’d rather be going with you than staying here.”

Prowl wanted to tell him that he would rather have Bluestreak safer on Earth, but that would be a disservice to the younger mech—no matter how true it might be. “I would rather we stayed together as well.”

“I’ll miss you guys.” Bluestreak stepped back from Prowl. “Be careful out there.”

“We will,” Prowl assured him. Jazz nodded his agreement. “Take care of yourself.”

The sniper nodded. The tactician and the saboteur turned away from the young mech and boarded their ship without looking back. If they looked back, they might have been tempted to change Bluestreak’s orders and—for whatever reason—Optimus wanted their adopted sparkling to stay on Earth.

It was slagging hard to finally leave him alone, though.

“Sides’ll take care of him,” Jazz assured him as they took their stations.

Prowl couldn’t tell which of them his bondmate was trying to reassure.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“They’ll be all right,” Sideswipe said, putting an arm around Bluestreak’s shoulders. “I hear that the femmes are heading to the Moonbases, too. The girls’ll take care of them.”

Blue leaned into his friend’s comforting embrace. “I know. I’m just…nervous I guess. We’ve never really been apart before.”

“You’ll be all right, too.” The red Twin led the sniper away from the ship so it could take off. “And Sunny should be home soon and then we’ll be too busy to worry about Prowl and Jazz.”

Bluestreak’s optics stayed on the ship as it took to the sky. “I hope you’re right.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz watched his bondmate with concern as the ship took off. Prowl was staring at the main view screen, watching the figures on the ground recede into the distance. He had never seen the tactician look so distressed about anything before. Reaching out, the saboteur took the other mech’s hand and squeezed gently. When Prowl looked at him, Jazz smiled and sent all the reassurance he could along their bond.

“Blue’s gonna be okay, love.”

“He’s never been alone like this before, Jazz.”

“I know, but he’ll be okay. You raised him right.” Despite the fact that Jazz had helped raise Bluestreak, it always seemed to make Prowl feel better if he pointed out that his bondmate had done right by the younger mech. “And like I said, he’s got Sideswipe with him still. He’ll be fine.”

“He’s safer on Earth than he would be on Cybertron.” Prowl sounded very much like he was trying to convince himself, which Jazz could feel that he was. The tactician was worried about their adopted sparkling and wishing that he wasn’t.

“He’ll be fine,” Jazz repeated.

Prowl nodded, but Jazz knew his mate was still unconvinced.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sunstreaker was startled when Tripwire held out the small energon ration to him. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t even known the younger mech was there. “Thanks.”

“You all right?” Trip sat next to him in the crowded cargo bay. “You look down.”

Sunny chuckled at the phrase; Tripwire had picked it up from him and he had picked it up from Spike. “I’m fine. I was just thinking about being back home soon.”

Tripwire nodded. “It sounds funny when you say it that way, but Cybertron really isn’t home anymore, is it?”

“No, it’s not,” the yellow Twin replied. “And not just because of what Shockwave’s done with the place.”

“What do you mean?”

“Home is where the people you love are, Trip.” Sunstreaker took a drink of the incredibly small ration. Hopefully the ration size would increase once they were up on the Moonbase.

Tripwire looked around the cargo bay at the femmes—and handful of mech—traveling with them to Prime’s new base. “Home needs some work, then.”

Sunstreaker gave him a smile. “Thanks for staying.”

Trip grinned back. “Well, it might be nice, but Earth wouldn’t be home without you.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The transition in leadership for the Autobots stationed on Earth went far more smoothly than anyone anticipated. Ultra Magnus and his command staff all had excellent diplomatic skills, and they were willing to learn what they didn’t already know. The Autobots who had stayed on Earth became invaluable consultants for the command staff in the first months, and Bluestreak and Sideswipe both discovered that they liked working under Ultra Magnus.

And the base commander kept them busy enough that they almost didn’t have time to miss their family members.

Bluestreak moved back into the Twins’ quarters, since both their roommates were gone. He just wouldn’t move out again after Sunstreaker came back. Sideswipe hadn’t said anything to him when he had taken over Sunstreaker’s recharge berth the first night, but Blue had needed to feel closer to the yellow Twin.

At night after they laid down for recharge, Sideswipe would often indulge Bluestreak’s need to talk.

“Hey, Sides?” Blue knew he was about to sound like a sparkling, but he was feeling down and needed reassurance.

“Yeah, Blue?” Sideswipe didn’t sound annoyed, which was good. Bluestreak knew he pestered his friend with questions a lot of the time.

“It’s been three weeks. Do you think they’ve made it to Cybertron yet?”

Bluestreak heard Sideswipe shift, then the lamp the red Twin kept next to his berth turned on. The warrior gave him a sympathetic look. “Blue, I know you miss them. Jazz said he would call when they got there. Ultra Magnus took almost two months to get here after Shockwave kicked his unit off Cybertron.”

“I know.” And he knew that they had had a similar conversation a few days ago over their morning energon, but he was worried about his family. This radio silence while they were traveling was killing him. “Do you think they’re okay?”

“I’m sure they’re fine. They have a good pilot and I’m sure that Shockwave is still occupied with trying to find Sunny and the femmes.”

“Hey, Sides?”

“Yes, Bluestreak?” Sideswipe did sound a bit annoyed now.

“Thank you for putting up with me.” Bluestreak gave his friend a rueful smile. “I know I’m a pain in the aft sometimes.”

Sides grinned back. “You are, but I like you anyway.”

“Thanks, Sides.” The sniper turned so that he was more comfortable on the berth. “For everything.”

“You’re welcome, Blue.” The red Twin turned the lamp back off. “Now get some recharge. I have early patrol tomorrow.”  



	34. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> which, i'm not putting behind a cut this time, because some of you may need a moment to go find some tissues. Prowl dies this chapter. that's not really a spoiler--you all knew it was coming--its a friendly warning to go find your tissues right now if you need them.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Chapter Notes: which, i'm not putting behind a cut this time, because some of you may need a moment to go find some tissues. Prowl dies this chapter. that's not really a spoiler--you all knew it was coming--its a friendly warning to go find your tissues right now if you need them.

this chapter was really hard for me to write, as i'm sure it will be hard for some of you ~~who particularly love prowl and or jazz/prowl~~ to read. i had to stop and take a break from the emotions involved and go have some fun several times while i was working. i cried at least once while i was writing, and i think i broke my own heart this time.

this chapter is long, and sad. you have been warned.

  
The femmes had arrived at the half-completed Moonbase long before Optimus Prime and his command crew. The members of construction crew Prime had sent ahead were more than happy to host the femmes and the few mechs that were with them.

Sunstreaker was more than happy to have a full ration of energon again.

He was disturbed when Tripwire admitted to him that he had never had a full ration of energon before. His young friend had been sparked so late in the conflict that Ultra Magnus and Elita-1’s units were already being forced to function on half rations or less. Trip had gone into recharge their first night at the Moonbase so overcharged that Sunstreaker had needed to carry him back to their quarters from the commissary.

For the first time, Sunstreaker was grateful for the accident that had left them all in stasis lock for the worst of the war.

Elita-1 had put together and honor guard to greet Optimus Prime when they found out his ship was inbound. She had made it into a big production, but Sunstreaker had served under her for long enough that he knew she was just trying to keep herself from looking like a sparkling with her first crush when she saw the Autobot leader. He thought it was sweet to see how absolutely in love with Optimus the femme still was, even after a four million year separation—she thought it made her look weak.

Optimus scrapped all her plans by sweeping her off her feet—literally—the moment he stepped off the ship, retracting his mask and kissing her soundly. Sunny laughed at the sight and the rest of the gathered Autobots fell silent in shock.

“What’s so funny?” Tripwire asked in a whisper, trying not to seem disrespectful.

“Those two. She was being all proper and commandery and he didn’t even notice.” Sunstreaker didn’t add that he was having visions of doing the same thing to Bluestreak when he got back to Earth.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Prowl gave Sunstreaker a small smile when the yellow Twin stepped into his new office. He was glad to see the artist—and glad he was still all right. Bluestreak had done almost nothing but talk about Sunstreaker since the warrior had sent his care package with Arcee.

“What can I do for you, Sunstreaker?” the tactician asked.

“Oh, I thought I’d turn in these transfer requests so I can get back home.” Sunstreaker smiled back and set a pair of data pads down on his desk. “And then I thought I’d pump you for information about Blue.”

“Bluestreak is well,” Prowl replied. “He was in the process of moving back in with your brother when we departed.”

Prowl didn’t miss how Sunstreaker’s smile faded around the edges when he mentioned that. “At least he’ll be easy to find.”

“Bluestreak has not stopped waiting for you, Sunstreaker. He and Sideswipe were simply lonely with the influx of new troops to Autobot City.”

“Sure.” The yellow Twin lowered himself into Jazz’s chair, posture suddenly slumped with defeat. “He’s waiting for me after the way I treated him.”

Prowl didn’t understand the abrupt change in Sunstreaker’s demeanor. He thought the other mech would have been happy to hear that Blue was still waiting for him—that the younger mech had forgiven him. “Please explain.”

“You know what happened, Prowl. You were there.”

“I can assure you that Bluestreak is not dwelling on your fight. Whatever you said to him before you left saw to that. Now he simply misses you, the way I would miss Jazz if he were reassigned so far from me.” Prowl was struck by the urge to hug Sunstreaker and comfort him the way he would Bluestreak.

“Primus, Prowl. I want to believe you.” The yellow Twin buried his face in his hands. “But when you said he was living with Sides, all these doubts I didn’t even know I had just popped into my processor. What if you’re wrong? What if he is still angry with me? What if he wants my brother and not me?”

“Bluestreak is waiting for you, Sunstreaker. I swear that he is.” Prowl tapped the data pads on his desk. “And I will go over your transfer request with Optimus so that you can get home to him as soon as possible.”

“Thanks, Prowl.” Sunstreaker didn’t really look any better when he looked up, but he did look back up. “The other request is for Tripwire. I don’t mind waiting for a while to go home, if it gets him there first.”

“Tripwire?”

The yellow Twin nodded. “He stuck to me like a bug on a windshield. He’s a good kid and all he’s ever known is this war.”

Sunstreaker didn’t need to say any more to sway Prowl’s opinion. No mech should have to grow up knowing nothing but constant war—though that had happened to both Bluestreak and Tripwire. “I will do what I can.”

“Thanks, Prowl.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak liked Tripwire almost from the moment the younger mech stepped off the shuttle. He hadn’t met anyone who was younger than him since Prowl had adopted him, so Trip was sometimes surprising, but he was fun to be around.

And he was much more forthcoming with information about Sunstreaker than anyone else had been—or been able to be.

The warrior mech had also come with letters for Bluestreak and Sideswipe, written on real paper that someone had sent to Sunstreaker on the supply shuttle. Sides had been as delighted with his letter as Blue and they had both read them immediately. The yellow Twin had mostly talked about himself, what life was like with the femmes and how things were settling in on the Moonbase. But he closed the letter talking about Tripwire.

_I finally understand what Prowl meant when he said a brother is a brother no matter when he was sparked. And I understand why Jazz called Soundwave his brother that time we overcharged together when Prowl nearly died in Koan. Trip’s the brother of my spark, no matter how much younger he may be. He reminds me a lot of you, Blue, but that might just be because he’s so young. He doesn’t talk much, but he always wants to learn. Teach him about Earth for me, since I can’t be there yet. Be a big brother for him the way Sides has always been for you._

_I love you and I miss you, but I’ll be home soon._

Blue had nearly dropped the paper when he read the last line. Sunstreaker loved him? Enough to put it in print? He wanted to crow with joy.

_I love you too, Sunny._

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

There was something amusing to Ultra Magnus’ requests for supplies from the Moonbases. Prowl always chuckled when one of the requisition forms would slide across his desk to be filled. After a few months—despite the fact that the Earth commander did need the weapons they were manufacturing on the moons—the tactician concluded that the supply requests were simply a way for Ultra Magnus to call and talk to his friends without appearing to call and talk to his friends.

It also amused Prowl to know that he was not above using the supply shuttle as an excuse to go back to Earth to visit Bluestreak. Ratchet would also be using the shuttle flight as an excuse to visit Wheeljack and Perceptor—citing checking First Aid’s training and progress and Ironhide would be using the trip as an excuse to visit Carly.

They had all been on Cybertron’s artificial moons for far too long.

After his paperwork was properly filed—and he chuckled at the fact that he was referring to it as paperwork—Prowl rose from his desk. He gathered the few data pads he couldn’t leave without and left his office for the shuttle bay.

Jazz was waiting for him in the hall outside the shuttle bay. “You ready to go?”

“Yes. They were holding the shuttle so I could finish some last minute paperwork.” Prowl gave his mate a smile.

“Paperwork, huh?” Jazz smiled back, then pulled the tactician into a hug. “I’d’ve done that for ya.”

Prowl returned the embrace. “I wanted it done right.”

The saboteur chuckled. “I’m not that bad. Be careful out there.”

“We will.” Prowl let Jazz pull him into a kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Jazz held him for a moment longer. “Give Blue my love, too.”

“I will.” Reluctantly, he stepped away from his mate. “I will see you soon.”

“Love you,” Jazz repeated as Prowl stepped into the shuttle bay.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz had watched as the shuttle took off and then, with a level of responsibility that would have made Prowl proud, he went back to work. He would be Optimus’ acting second until the tactician returned, and he had to act like it.

Prowl did a lot of work around the base.

Their spaceflight capable ships had been upgraded after they arrived on the base, as they had intended to trade resources between Earth and Cybertron from the beginning. They were faster now, and it would take a little over a day for the shuttle to arrive at Autobot City.

The ship was about three hours out from Earth—and Jazz was going over Sunstreaker’s transfer request with him—when white hot agony surged across his spark. He had felt phantom pain from Prowl before when the tactician had been seriously hurt. This pain was similar, and nothing like those phantom memories.

This was a death blow, and he knew it. He knew he was losing Prowl as soon as he felt it. _Prowl! Prowl, don’t leave me!_

There was really no way his bondmate could have heard him, but he felt all the love and affection Prowl had ever held for him flood the bond and drown out the pain. _Jazz, I’m sorry. I love you._

Jazz wanted to reach out to his lover and hold him in place, but he could feel him slipping away. Even from light years away, he could feel Prowl’s spark going out. He still felt the pain, even though Prowl was trying to hide it and he would rather have Prowl leave him than suffer that any longer. Even as his own spark broke, he replied, _I love you, too, Prowl. I love you._

He sent all the love he had ever felt for the tactician back along the bond, trying to give the other mech some comfort as he passed. He could feel Prowl trying to do the same—trying to hold the illusion that he wasn’t dying for just a bit longer—but his mate was too far gone, his spark to close to extinguished.

And then Prowl was gone.

Jazz screamed as he felt half his spark die. He felt himself falling forward, his processor crashing. Sunstreaker caught him before he hit the floor.

“Jazz! Jazz, what’s wrong?!” The yellow Twin was obviously panicked.

The saboteur spoke only one word before falling offline completely. “Prowl…”  



	35. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

you may need to bring tissues to this one, gang.

  
i knew as soon as i wrote the section with Prowl's death that the rest of the events from the 1986 movie would come fairly quickly. and they will. i anticipate the next chapter being finished tonight as well, along with at least one of the two final sections of "gravity of love". i think i'm trying to get the worst of the hurt over with so that we can all beging to heal along with Jazz and Bluestreak.  


 

  
When Jazz had doubled over in pain, Sunstreaker had gotten worried. When his visor went dim, that worry went up a notch. When the saboteur had slumped over sideways and fallen from his chair, the yellow Twin had switched from worry to fear.

Something was wrong with Prowl. Something bad enough to affect Jazz through their bond.

He carried the other mech to the medbay as quickly as he could. He wasn’t sure what Ratchet’s staff could do for his friend, but he would be damned if he didn’t do something to try and help. As he ran, he cursed the fact that the chief medic was on the same shuttle as Prowl and too far away to be any help.

The medic—she was small and silver and he suddenly couldn’t remember he designation—looked at him in shock when he barreled through the door. “What is it, Sunstreaker?”

“I think…” The warrior’s vocalizer stopped working as he processed a thought he didn’t want. “I think Prowl is dying.”

The femme was obviously confused. “What?”

Sunstreaker laid Jazz carefully on the berth as he explained, trying to stay detached. Jazz needed him and he would keep it together for the tactician until he could be alone in his grief. “Jazz and Prowl are bondmates. It was common knowledge, even to the Decepticons. You must not have been with us when it happened.”

“No,” she replied. “I was neutral until several vorns after the _Ark_ disappeared. How certain are you about his bondmate?”

“Pretty sure. He told me something was wrong with Prowl before he went offline.”

The femme turned on a monitor next to the berth. Sunny had spent enough time in Ratchet’s medbay to know that Jazz’s vitals did not look good.

“If Prowl has been deactivated, we must plan for the very real probability that Jazz will deactivate as well.” She had a much better detached manner than the artist. But the silver femme wasn’t Jazz’s friend.

“I know.”

“We have to report this to Optimus Prime.”

“You go,” Sunstreaker said, pulling a stool up next to Jazz’s berth. “I’m not leaving until he comes back online.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak and Tripwire were coming down from the lookout post when the shuttle flew overhead. His initial excitement to see it was drowned almost instantly when one of the other Autobots—he couldn’t see who—fired on it and the Decepticons flew out.

“Prowl…?” He watched with horrified optics as the shuttle crashed into the forest.

Fearing what could have happened to his mentor, the sniper ran down the side of the hill toward the tree line. He ignored the chaos around him as the Decepticons used what element of surprise they had left to overpower the Autobot forces. He ignored Tripwire’s shouts behind him—begging him to come back and not leave him alone. He ignored the return to base order Ultra Magnus was issuing over the comm.

He ignored everything but the thought that he had to get to Prowl.

The shuttle wasn’t hard to find; it had cleared a large path through the trees on the way down. He would be just as easy to find if any of the Decepticons decided to come looking for him, though he doubted that would happen. He didn’t even have to try and open the airlock; he only had to climb the side of the ship and crawl through the hole the ‘Cons had blasted through the side.

The Autobot crew was piled against the far side of the ship like broken toys. Bluestreak let out a wail when he saw Prowl’s lifeless optics staring at him from the top of the pile.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

In all his years as a frontline warrior, Sideswipe had never seen the Decepticons launch an attack like this. He knew it had happened—he’d been in the ruins of Iacon and Praxus—but he hadn’t seen it. He’d always thought Megatron had spent the worst of his fury before the Twins had joined the Autobots.

He was wrong.

The red Twin spotted Tripwire staggering toward the city and he pulled the younger mech inside as the doors were sealing shut. Trip was holding one had to his side in pain, but he didn’t seem to be losing any fluids.

“Why are they doing this?” Tripwire’s optics were shocked, and Sideswipe was struck again by the fact that Megatron hadn’t launched an attack like this since Bluestreak was a sparkling.

“Because they can,” Sides replied. “Let me look at your side.”

Trip nodded and let the red Twin pull his hand away. There was a lot of missing armor, but none of the cables or tubing that ran along that side were severed. Tripwire was a very lucky mech. Sideswipe pulled a roll of duct tape from subspace and began using it as a patch to cover the young mech’s side.

“What’s that?” Tripwire asked, sounding a bit more like himself.

Sideswipe smiled a bit grimly. The curiosity of the young was a beautiful thing sometimes. “Duct tape. The humans swear it will hold anything together. Sunny and I discovered that it was great for little field repairs like this. It’ll keep your insides where they should be until the medics can get you fixed up.”

“Oh.”

“Trip, what happened to Bluestreak?” Sideswipe asked, suddenly remembering that they had been on lookout together.

“He ran,” Trip replied. “He said something about Prowl and then he ran away. He left me alone out there. Why would he do that?”

Sides finished his patch job and pulled the young mech into a tight embrace. “Prowl was on the shuttle, Trip. I don’t think he was using his processor anymore once he remembered that.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“How is he?”

Sunstreaker looked up at Optimus Prime’s voice and saw his leader standing with Elita-1 in the doorway to the medbay.

“Same as he was when I put him on the berth,” the warrior replied. “Any word on what happened to the shuttle?”

“The Decepticons attacked the shuttle not far from Earth. We do not believe there were any survivors.” The Autobot leader’s voice was sad. “They used it as a decoy to slip inside the city’s defenses. Blaster just sent a distress call from Earth.”

“You need me?”

“Yes. But I won’t force you to come, Sunstreaker.” Optimus’ tone was understanding beneath the sorrow he was feeling for the loss of his friends. “If you wish to stay with Jazz…”

“No.” The yellow Twin rose from the stool he had occupied for the last several hours. “That’s the rest of my family they’re attacking. I’m coming.”

“I will stay with him, Optimus,” Elita-1 said softly. “He shouldn’t be left alone right now. He needs someone with him to remind him that he is still loved and will be missed if he is gone.”

Optimus put an arm around his mate and held her tightly. “Thank you. But Chromia—“

“I sent Firestar and Gravity to her as soon as I heard about Jazz. She is in good company.” Elita laid a hand on Optimus’ chest plate. “We will be fine here. Go take care of the rest of our troops.”

“I know you don’t believe in vengeance,” Sunstreaker said to Jazz before he turned to leave. “So I won’t promise that. But I promise that we will stop them.”

He left the medbay, sprinting toward Optimus’ flagship before the Autobot leader had a chance to tell him to do so.

Sunstreaker didn’t want Optimus Prime to see how torn he was about his decision.  



	36. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

less likely to need tissues this chapter.

  
this is absolutely the last update for deeper for a couple of days. i don't think i can handle more of this particular storyline for a bit.

also, i'm not happy with how this chapter came out. there are a lot of places that will be going back to flesh out in the final version.  


  
He came back online to Elita-1’s anguished screams. The femme was shrieking like her spark had been torn out. Jazz didn’t know what was going on, but his instincts overrode his own emotional pain and he sat up.

“Elita? What’s wrong?”

“He’s gone, Jazz,” she wailed. “He’s gone!”

The saboteur didn’t need to ask who. The only mech whose death would hit her this hard was Optimus. Ignoring the pain in his own spark, Jazz pulled the femme into his arms and held her.

Like him, she would need all the comfort she could get if she survived this loss.

He held his leader’s mate and let her scream out her grief to the room. It was grounding for him, letting him see beyond his own grief and loss. Giving him a reason to function. He held Elita-1 until she fell offline into an uneasy recharge.

Jazz wanted to stay in the medbay with her, but he knew that was impossible. Optimus Prime would have left Elita in charge of the base when he left and she was in no shape to command. The rest of the command staff had been on the shuttle with Prowl—he crushed down grief at that thought—and none of the others were experienced enough with leadership roles to take over.

The loss of Optimus added to the grief he was already feeling, but he was grateful to have something to focus on. He would be able to keep busy until this crisis had passed, then he would have time to grieve.

He laid the pink femme on the berth he had recently occupied and left for the command center.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sunstreaker sat on the floor of the makeshift medbay next to his brother’s recharging form. Tripwire was leaned against him, also in recharge. Miraculously, after the carnage of the days that Autobot city spent under siege—neither of them had been seriously injured. Trip had needed to replace missing armor and torso plating on his left side, but the young warrior hadn’t had any internal damage. Sideswipe had needed to have several coolant lines patched but the damage hadn’t been enough to do more than put him in recharge for a few hours after Perceptor’s repairs.

If only everyone had been so lucky.

Sunstreaker held Tripwire a little more tightly and thanked Primus that he hadn’t lost his brothers. He also tried not to think about the lifeless corpse that rested on the only medical berth to have survived the Decepticon attack.

He tried not to think about the fact that Bluestreak was still missing.

“Sunny? You’re hurting my side…” Tripwire’s voice was tired, but Sunstreaker was glad to hear it.

“Sorry.” The artist loosened his embrace a bit. “How you feeling?”

“Sore. Tired. Confused.” Trip shifted a bit so that he was resting against the yellow Twin more comfortably. “Why did the Decepticons attack us like this?”

“That’s how they waged a lot of the early war. Megatron would wait for the Autobots to establish a stronghold in a city or for us to build one somewhere away from civilization and then once the base commanders got comfortable, he’d have it razed to the ground. The last of these kinds of attacks was just after Sides and I joined up. We weren’t there, but Iacon was almost completely leveled.” Sunstreaker offlined his optics for a moment, remembering. “Bluestreak was just a sparkling then. Prowl adopted him not long after that.”

“He left me out there,” Tripwire said softly. “When the attack started, he just ran off. Just like everyone else in my life.”

“I’m sure he wasn’t abandoning you, Trip. He was just so close to Prowl that he had to know.” He squeezed Trip again, careful of his injured side. “I know I wouldn’t have been able to just let your shuttle crash and not see if you were alive or dead.”

“He’s your friend, Trip,” Sideswipe added from his place on the floor. “He wouldn’t just abandon you. I told you that he wasn’t thinking.”

“How long have you been awake?” Sunstreaker asked, amusement taking the place of sorrow for a moment.

“Long enough,” the red Twin replied, onlining his optics. “I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Me too,” Sunny agreed. “How do you feel?”

“I’m okay. When are we gonna go find Blue?”

“You knew he was still missing?” Sometimes his brother managed to surprise him.

“He would have been here if he wasn’t. So, when?”

Tripwire looked up at the yellow Twin with the same question in his optics. He may have been feeling betrayed by the sniper, but he wasn’t going to leave Bluestreak out there alone if the Decepticons came back.

“Now.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He was glad that he had evacuated the femmes from the base when the giant planet came into orbit. None of the girls left on Moonbase 1 were in any shape to fight—especially Chromia and Eliat-1—so Jazz had loaded them all into the last shuttle and sent them planet side. That had left the base staffed with a small, not quite skeleton crew.

The lack of Autobots on base was a blessing when it was eaten.

Jazz didn’t know exactly what was going on, but some of the old songs Soundwave had studied at the Music Academy had talked about similar events. He knew the odds of any of the Autobots surviving were slim.

He wasn’t going to just sit still and _let_ them die, though.

They ran. Whatever this thing was that had eaten them, it was prepared for that; it chased them with pincers, flood systems and its own internal gunning system. It wanted them well and truly offline.

Jazz was not about to let that happen.

The saboteur allowed himself to feel some of his despair when Bumblebee and Spike joined them. Moonbase 2 had also been destroyed, and all of Optimus’ dreams for the future with it.

He thought they might make it, though, after the smallest member of his team joined them. Jazz had trained all his crew to carry small explosive charges with them—comparable to hand grenades, but easier to use. They made short works of entire banks of pincers and guns with them.

They were nowhere near to finding an exit when the explosives ran out, however.

“Should have stayed on Earth,” he muttered as one of the pincers finally caught him.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

They were well into the forest when the Decepticons attacked Autobot city again. The Twins stared in horror at the smoke that billowed out from the remains of the city. If they had stayed true to form, the Decepticons would have left the city alone and moved on to other targets, stretching the Autobot’s resources to their limits.

Something was very wrong this time.

“We have to go help them!” Tripwire shouted at the Twins. “Why are you just standing here?”

“Look at the troops they have this time, Trip,” Sunstreaker said, surprised to be the voice of reason. “They all fly. We don’t. We’re no good to the Autobots if all we do is go back to get ourselves killed.”

“But…”

Sideswipe put a hand on the young mech’s shoulder. “I know. Those are my friends in there too. But they have ships and have a chance to get away. They can take care of themselves. We’re better off out here, where they don’t know where we are.”

Trip looked down at the forest floor for a moment. “Okay.”

_Thank Primus that he didn’t argue._ “Let’s get moving.” Sunstreaker started walking again, moving deeper into the trees to give them some cover.

They didn’t walk far. The shuttle had crashed fairly close to the northern lookout perimeter. It lay at a slight angle, held up by the broken trees and dirt it had plowed through. The hole the Decepticons had blasted in the side gaped dark and ugly in the afternoon sun.

“You think he’s in there?” Sideswipe asked.

“If he’s not, he’ll be close by. He won’t leave Prowl until he has to,” Sunstreaker replied.

“Do we have to go in there?” Tripwire asked.

“You can stay out here,” Sunstreaker told him. Trip wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to go into the shuttle. He felt like they were about to desecrate a tomb.

The yellow Twin didn’t wait for a reply before he started to climb the ship. Sideswipe followed a moment later. They both froze in shock as the dropped inside.

Lined up against the wall in a single neat row were the bodies of the mechs who had been onboard the shuttle. They were grey and lifeless, as the dead were, but they were also clean and looked like they had been prepared for burial. At the end of the line of corpses, Bluestreak knelt next to what was left of Prowl.

_Primus,_ Sideswipe sent along their private comm. _He did all this himself?_

_He must have,_ Sunstreaker replied. _Nobody else was around to do it._

The sniper hadn’t looked up since they had come inside. He probably hadn’t even realized they were there. Sunstreaker took soft steps toward him.

“Blue?”

Bluestreak looked up slowly. “Sunny…?”

Sunstreaker felt his spark break at the younger mech’s tone. He dropped to his knees beside Bluestreak and pulled the sniper into his arms. “I’m here, Blue. I’m here.”

Sideswipe came over a moment later and held both of them while Bluestreak grieved.  



	37. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
okay, i needed tissues while i was writing this. which makes it probably a good thing that i was tucked away in the department that time forgot--i mean sporting goods--for the better part of my day. got lots of work done, but did some crying too.

so, tissues guys. you're gonna need tissues.

in other news, "Gravity of Love" is edited and up in the [Avalon Archive](http://www.kuroimiko.net/tffics/viewseries.php?seriesid=26).

  
They went back to the _Ark_ after the Twins coaxed Bluestreak out of the shuttle. None of them felt safe going back to Autobot City—especially Tripwire, who had seen the city blitzed twice now—and the crashed ship seemed like the safer alternative. Sideswipe knew that none of the _Ark’s_ security measures had been deactivated and he had left some of the Twins’ belongings in storage there.

Bluestreak had let his friends lead him wherever they were going.

“Is he going to be okay?” Tripwire asked Sideswipe after Bluestreak was finally in recharge.

Sideswipe looked at the younger mech with sad optics. “I don’t know. This is twice now that he’s lost someone so important to him. And it was more than just Prowl; Ratchet and Ironhide were on the shuttle and Optimus and Wheeljack were both killed in the city.”

“And Jazz was in pretty bad shape when I left,” Sunstreaker added, sitting down next to Trip. “He might not have made it either.”

Tripwire looked down at the floor. “I didn’t know. I was so angry at him for abandoning me, but I didn’t _know_.”

“No one blames you, Trip,” Sunny said softly. “He has to trust you at least as much as he trusted Prowl before he’ll talk about his issues. Bluestreak has had a rougher life than most of us.”

Sunstreaker fell silent, though his brother thought he had more to say. He used the silence to pull a small energon storage keg and four empty cubes from subspace. He poured careful rations from the keg and passed them around.

“I raided your stash, Sides,” the yellow Twin said with a broken smile. “Hope that’s okay.”

“Drink it slow, Trip,” the red Twin cautioned in reply. “I make it strong.”

Tripwire nodded and took a careful sip. He made a face at the taste of the home brewed high grade, but he didn’t complain. They all knew it might be the only fuel they had for a while.

“Just make sure Bluestreak knows you care,” Sunstreaker finally said. “Make sure you’re there for him.”

“Okay,” Trip replied.

They fell into uneasy silence again.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz didn’t remember escaping from the planet eater. He didn’t remember much of anything after Daniel saved them from the vat of acid they had been moments away from being dropped in. He vaguely remembered Arcee hugging him and Springer issuing a few orders, then blasting his way through the walls. He remembered the harsh slap of cold space before falling offline.

He remembered feeling relieved that the other Autobots no longer needed him.

Coming back online was the most disappointing, most painful thing he had ever experienced. Prowl’s loss—the absolute void it created in Jazz’s spark—hit him with an agony so intense he registered actual physical pain.

“No, Prowl…” he wailed. In that moment, he wished he had nightmares like Bluestreak. He desperately wished that he would be jolted online next to Prowl and be told that his processor had glitched and over processed unrealized fears.

He wished that he had deactivated with his bondmate.

Jazz realized he was trying to claw his chest plates open to relieve the pain when small, gentle hands settled over his, stilling them. “Jazz, stop.”

_Bumblebee_ Jazz onlined his optics and looked at his subordinate. “It hurts, Bee.”

“I know, Jazz. I’m sorry.” The smaller mech climbed onto the recharge berth next to the saboteur and hugged him tightly.

Jazz knew that his younger friend felt everything intensely and deeply, but even he was surprised by the desperation in Bumblebee’s embrace. He pulled his hands out from under the smaller mech and hugged him back.

“Please don’t leave us,” Bumblebee whispered.

The saboteur held the spy and wondered what else had happened that he didn’t know about. Even if he hadn’t felt it, someone still needed him—as Bumblebee was proving.

And hadn’t he made Prowl promise to try to live if anything happened to him?

“I won’t, Bee,” Jazz promised. “Not yet.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Teletran-1 is picking up Autobot signatures in the city,” Tripwire reported, looking at the computer’s screen intently. “A lot of them. Maybe it’s safe to go back now?”

“It might not be,” Sunstreaker said, glancing over at Bluestreak, who hadn’t moved or spoken unless he was refueling for the last three days. “But I think we have to risk that. Bluestreak needs help we can’t give him.”

“Maybe First Aid will know what to do,” Trip said hopefully. “Ratchet taught him a lot of stuff like that.”

Sunstreaker did not want to know how Tripwire had learned that. If it was personal experience… He just didn’t want to know. “We’ll try calling him after we get out of here. Go find Sideswipe and tell him the plan.”

Tripwire didn’t argue. He just nodded and went looking for Sideswipe. Sunstreaker couldn’t blame him; Bluestreak’s complete silence and stillness creeped him out too. After the younger mech was gone, the yellow Twin knelt down in front of the sniper.

“Hey. I know you probably don’t want to, but we’re going to head back to Autobot city. Sides’ stash won’t last much longer and Trip’s getting a little stir crazy.” Sunstreaker reached out and took Bluestreak’s hands in his own. “I just…I need you to hang on a little longer, okay? We’ll call First Aid and—“

“Sunny.”

The yellow Twin looked from their hands back to Bluestreak’s face. The sniper was _looking_ at him, for the first time since they’d left the shuttle. He tried not to show how thrilled he was at the development. “Blue?”

“Promise you won’t leave me alone?” Bluestreak’s voice was quiet and he sounded exhausted.

“I promise, Blue. We won’t leave you alone.” Sunstreaker squeezed the younger mech’s hands reassuringly.

The sniper squeezed back weakly. “Hold me? Please?”

Sunstreaker didn’t reply. He simply pulled the younger mech into a tight embrace. “I love you, Blue.”  



	38. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
well, i got it finished sooner than i expected, but i made more progress yesterday than i remembered. the tissue warnings continue this chapter.

some of you will recognize bits of the ending scene from "Days in Avalon". that's how its supposed to be, but i didn't feel like i needed to drag the scene out past where i stopped. blue and jazz still have that moment from "Days", but i didn't want to rehash. i felt like it lost some of the impact of the chapter when i tried it. reread "Days" if you absolutely must have the bit of sweetness between them, but it was really too light for how dark "Deeper" has gotten.

and since i haven't posted one recently, the word count is currently at 42,766. i actually have to break it into two seperate word files now, because my computer can't manage to scroll through all of the origonal document without dropping chunks. its kind of a pain, but also a major accomplishment. i've never written anything this big before.  


  
Bluestreak could hear the whispers starting the moment he walked into the camp that had been set up outside the ruins of Autobot City. He could hear the other Autobot’s accusations against him, and if he hadn’t already been so broken inside they would have cut deeply.

Tripwire took the sniper’s hand and squeezed it tightly. It was a youthful gesture—the kind of thing he would have done for Prowl or Sunstreaker a few days ago—and his spark warmed slightly. Trip may have been angry at him for leaving, but he was forgiven now. Bluestreak squeezed back.

“Don’t believe them, Blue,” Trip said. “We know what really happened.”

“Thanks, Trip.” Bluestreak didn’t add that he was fairly certain he would be hearing the whispers for a long time. Some Autobots would never be able to forgive the mech who had deserted them at Autobot City.

“It looks like Ultra Magnus has the field command post set up over that way.” Sideswipe pointed to a large portable shelter about a hundred feet to their left.

“Let’s go report in then,” Sunstreaker replied.

Bluestreak nodded and he and Tripwire let the Twins lead the way. The quartet was pinned with unhappy glares when they stepped inside the command post.

“It’s about time you showed up.” Blue recognized the voice, but Hot Rod’s appearance had changed dramatically enough that the sniper didn’t recognize the other mech until he spoke. “You want to explain where you four were?”

The Twins exchanged uneasy looks. Neither of them seemed to know what was going on either. Their uncertainty made Bluestreak feel a bit better about the uncomfortable situation.

“We were in the _Ark_ ,” Sideswipe finally replied. “We didn’t feel it was safe to come back when we saw the Decepticons attacking again.”

“So you decided to just desert the rest of us?” Hot Rod sounded furious.

“Easy, Rodimus,” Ultra Magnus said softly. “Was it desertion if their team leader decided they had no chance of survival if they returned?”

“How do you know that’s what they were thinking?” Hot Rod--Rodimus now, apparently—demanded.

“How do you know it was not?” the Autobot commander replied calmly. “Did you ask or did you assume?”

Rodimus looked at the floor of the command post for a long moment. “I apologize. I jumped to a conclusion without all the details.” The words sounded stilted, like the red and orange mech was forcing the words out because he thought he should say them.

No one in the room was surprised when Rodimus stormed off after that. Bluestreak relaxed a bit when the tension level dropped with the departing mech.

“I’m sorry for the way he’s acting.” Ultra Magnus sounded sincere. “It’s been a very rough few days for all of us.”

“I bet,” Sunstreaker replied. “Look, I don’t want to sound pushy, but what happened out there?”

The Autobot commander gestured to several camp stools. “It’s a long story. Sit down and I’ll tell you what I know.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Ultra Magnus had not only told a long story, but a fairly unbelievable one. The Autobot commander was not prone to exaggerations, however, so the story had to be true.

Optimus Prime was dead and _Hot Rod_ had become Prime in his place. That alone had been unbelievable enough, but Rodimus’ first act as Prime had been to deactivate Unicron, a god from the oldest of their myths and religious texts.

In the wake of Unicron’s defeat, Cybertron belonged to the Autobots. That would have been cause for celebration under other circumstances, but their losses had been so heavy that depression hung over the camp like a blanket. The surviving Autobots walked around the camp and the ruined city like ghosts and the lack of so many familiar faces ached like a wound that wouldn’t heal.

Sunstreaker thought that Bluestreak’s grief was bad, but this heavy depression was much worse.

The only truly good news they had gotten from Ultra Magnus was that Jazz had survived. Blue had gone off looking for the saboteur almost immediately after leaving the command post and neither of the Twins had felt the need to stop him. Jazz was the younger mech’s family and right now that family needed to be together. They had, instead, focused their attention on Tripwire, who was confused and exhausted.

They requisitioned a field shelter from Perceptor, who seemed to be throwing himself into any work he could find to forget his own grief. The scientist had even insisted on helping them put the shelter together, even though both Sunstreaker and Sideswipe could assemble one during recharge. In its own way, seeing the older mech throwing himself into any work he could find was as sad and horrible as Bluestreak spending a week alone inside the shuttle had been.

At least the sniper had been able to purge some of his grief in preparing the dead for their memorial rights.

The Twins tucked the younger warrior into a recharge berth and talked with him until Tripwire fell into recharge. Then, they held each other for a long while, drawing comfort from the fact that they were alive and still together. When they broke apart, Sunstreaker began pulling the art supplies they had stored on the _Ark_ from subspace.

“Sunny, what…?”

Sunstreaker shook his head. “I just need to paint. I need to get it all out.”

Sideswipe didn’t argue. He knew his brother well enough to know that he purged his grief through his art. He patted the artist on the shoulder. “Tell me if you need anything.”

Sunny managed a small smile for his twin. “Thanks, Sides.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz had not been in First Aid’s makeshift medbay when Bluestreak had gone to find him. He was glad that his…his mentor—and why hadn’t he been able to see that Jazz had helped him as much as Prowl before this?—was well enough to leave, but he was concerned about the saboteur’s mental state. Blue had heard all the horror stories about the rare mechs who survived the deactivation of a bondmate and none of them were pretty.

He was terrified that he would lose Jazz, too.

It wasn’t hard to follow the trail that the saboteur had taken after leaving the medbay. Everyone knew that he had survived Prowl’s death and so they were all keeping an eye on him. All the Autobots wanted to help when he asked if they knew where Jazz had gone.

All the Autobots that weren’t calling him traitor, anyway.

Bluestreak felt his spark break again—or further, he wasn’t sure—when he saw Jazz crumple to his knees in the ruins of Autobot City. He didn’t know why his mentor had chosen this particular location to vent his grief, but it was the most awful thing he had seen from a living being in a very long time.

“Why, Prowl? _Why?_ ” Jazz cried the same question that Bluestreak had been asking since climbing into the crashed shuttle. The older mech dug his fingers into the cracked plating that had once been a walking path, as if he was trying to pour his emotional pain into something physical.

The sniper couldn’t stand to watch anymore. He walked over to Jazz with unsteady steps. “Jazz?”

Jazz looked up at him. Absolute anguish crossed the older mech’s features and he turned his face to the terribly blue sky and screamed in grief. It was a spark-wrenching sound—and one that Bluestreak had fought down the urge to make himself several times.

He pulled the saboteur into his arms, giving what comfort he could to the older mech. “I know, Jazz. I know and I’m sorry.”

His grief didn’t lighten precisely when the other mech wrapped his arms around the sniper’s torso, but Bluestreak felt it become…endurable. He and Jazz could make it through this, as long as they held each other up.

And if they fell, he still had Sunny. Thank Primus, he still had Sunny.  



	39. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
well, i honestly did not expect this update this quickly. some of my readers (specifically [](http://spotlight-noa.livejournal.com/profile)[**spotlight_noa**](http://spotlight-noa.livejournal.com/)) will have their work cut out for them when they get a chance to catch up.

and i can't say a bit of what i really want to say here at the begining. none of it will make sense until you read the chapter, and to say it now would completely spoil the chapter. second set of notes at the end.

also, i don't know if you'll need tissues for this chapter or not. its sad and angsty, but it didn't make me tear up, so i dunno. keep them handy just in case, i guess.  


  
“Sunny?”

The artist turned from his painting at the sound of Bluestreak’s voice. “Hey, Blue.”

He held his arms out to the younger mech as the sniper stepped closer. Bluestreak fell into his embrace with a sigh. The sniper nuzzled his face into the yellow Twin’s chest plate and let Sunstreaker hold him.

“How you doin’, Blue?” Sunny asked.

“I’ll be glad when First Aid puts me back on active duty,” Bluestreak replied. “I know he had a good reason to put me on medical leave and it kept me out of trouble, but I need something to do.”

“Have you talked to him about it? Maybe you could get First Aid to put you on light duty or something.” Sunstreaker ran a hand gently over the back of Blue’s head, aware of the calming effect it normally had on the younger mech.

“Please don’t do that,” Blue said quietly, voice laced with pain. When the artist’s hand stilled, he continued. “And no, I haven’t talked to him about it. It makes me feel bad when I think about leaving Jazz alone.”

“You have to do things for yourself sometimes, Blue.”

“I know that.” Blue nuzzled Sunstreaker’s chest plates again. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.” The yellow Twin grinned at the other mech. Despite what everyone thought, Bluestreak was recovering from Prowl’s death—and at a fairly quick pace. The sniper was still depressed—a human would have been put on medication by now, but there was no equivalent for Cybertronians—and he still lapsed into long, painful silences, but he could smile again.

And he could manage to see life beyond his grief.

“One of the human psychologists that’ve been helping with counseling thinks that Jazz and I should be put on a suicide watch,” Bluestreak said softly, his humor disappearing instantly. Sunstreaker hated these abrupt changed in demeanor, but to ask the sniper to stop talking about his life would be like asking him to stop painting—he could do it, but it would kill something inside him. “She says we’re just covering up—that neither one of us is really trying to heal and that we’re just waiting for a moment alone so we can offline ourselves. She used a lot of Perceptor-sized words to say that, though.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Sunstreaker said, holding the younger mech a little more tightly. “She hasn’t worked with either of you first hand and she’s just spouting off to make herself look good.”

“…But I think she might be right about Jazz,” Blue admitted. “He’s not refueling, he’s not recharging and he never leaves his quarters. Sometimes it even hurts him to look at me, because I look so much like Prowl.”

“Jazz needs time, not a suicide watch.” The yellow Twin took the sniper by the shoulder and held him a bit away so he could look him in the optics. “He’s going to be fine. Jazz is like you—stronger than he lets you believe—and he is not going to offline himself.”

“You’re sure?”

“Damned sure. If he survived Prowl, then he’s not going to take his own life. Jazz is not that kind of mech.”

“You’re not just saying that?” If the younger mech had been Human, Sunny would have thought he was about to cry.

“No, I’m not just saying that.” He let Bluestreak pull himself back into a comforting embrace; just being held made Blue feel better than all the pretty words in the universe. “Jazz is not going to leave you.”

The sniper hugged the artist hard enough that he might have worried about his structural integrity if he had weaker armor. “I love you, Sunny.”

The words warmed his spark. He had wanted to hear them from Bluestreak for so many years that he had begun to think he never would. Sunstreaker only wished that he knew if the other mech meant them the way he wanted, or if it was only a platonic love. Rather than debate with himself over it, he leaned down and kissed the top of Blue’s head.

“Love you too, Blue.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak sat shocked in Sunstreaker’s embrace. The yellow Twin was still, lip components still resting softly on his head and seeming completely at ease with the exchange that had just taken place.

The sniper’s thoughts were a whirl.

Had he actually told Sunstreaker he loved him? Out loud? He hadn’t simply thought it again? And Sunny had said it back? Maybe what the yellow Twin had told him in the _Ark_ weeks ago hadn’t just been his friend trying to comfort him.

Maybe Tripwire had been right when he said that Sunstreaker was in love with him.

“You mean it?” the sniper asked.

Sunstreaker didn’t really move, but he did lift his head enough to speak. “What? You think I said it just to make you feel better?”

“Will you be mad if I say yes?”

The artist laughed. “I should be, but I’m not. I know that some people have been willing to do anything to make you feel better.”

Bluestreak lifted his head, careful not to catch Sunny’s throat components on his chevron, and looked the other mech straight in the optics. “Did you mean it like you _love_ me? Or did you mean it platonically?”

Sunstreaker took his faceplates gently in his hands. Bluestreak let him—and he let the yellow Twin pull him in for a gentle kiss.

For a moment, every bit of grief was washed away in the sensation.

Then he was consumed by memories of Meltdown. Memories of her doing something similar when he was much, much younger. He screamed and threw himself backward out of Sunstreaker’s hands.

He was fairly certain that Sunstreaker could not have looked more hurt if he had just confessed to murdering Sideswipe. “Blue, what’s wrong? What did I do?”

Bluestreak curled into a ball, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. He hated himself at this moment more than anyone else he could think of. They were just memories, dammit! And he was letting them ruin something that could be the best thing to ever happen to him.

Sunny’s hands on his shoulders were too gentle as he heard the other mech kneel down on the floor in front of him. “Was it Meltdown?”

“Yes.” The word was strangled as it came out of his vocalizer.

“I understand, Blue.” Sunstreaker pushed his shoulders gently until he looked up. “I’ll help you with this. I love you.”

“Thank you.” Bluestreak tipped his head to the side and placed a gentle kiss on Sunny’s hand. He was relieved when that prompted no bad memories. “I love you, too.”  


  
seriously, i hope you did not think i was done with meltdown. or that her abuse was all physical and psychological. when she went over to the decepticons, meltdown left all her morals and standards at the door. and, as you all know from my writing already, i won't just be leaving the subject alone after this. bluestreak has issues--really big ones--with physical intimacy.  



	40. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS OF "LAST ONE STANDING".** those of you who are following that fic might want to consider holding off on reading this chapter until i get the next installments of LOS finished and posted.

  
Bumblebee looked relieved when Bluestreak came back to the quarters he was sharing with Jazz. The saboteur was curled up in his berth, showing no signs of having moved since the sniper left.

“I got him to talk a little,” the spy said. “But he just doesn’t seem to want to do anything.”

“Still here,” Jazz said softly, though he didn’t move or look at them.

“I wish you would act like it.” Bumblebee turned away from the saboteur. “Sorry, Blue. I’d stay and talk, but I just…I can’t.”

Bluestreak nodded and let the yellow mech go. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Bumblebee anyway. With a sigh, he sat down next to Jazz on the saboteur’s recharge berth. The sniper was pleasantly surprised with Jazz put an arm around his waist and gave him a hug.

“Thanks for understanding, Blue.”

“You’re welcome.” He took his mentor’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Jazz, can I talk to you? About something really serious?”

The saboteur raised his head and looked up at Bluestreak. “You can always talk to me, Blue. Prowl being gone doesn’t make that go away.”

If he were human, Bluestreak would have wept with relief. Jazz was willing to listen, despite the pain he was feeling right now. He wondered again how he could have let this kind of love lay dormant when he was younger.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jazz stood in the doorway of their portable shelter and stared out at the stars overhead. He was glad to see them—both he and Prowl had spent many relaxing hours stargazing and letting thoughts simply work themselves through their processors. Stargazing alone was a painful reminder of his loss, but it was still comforting in a strange way.

He needed the comfort. He hadn’t thought the day would ever come that Bluestreak would tell him something that he hadn’t even trusted Prowl with.

The saboteur’s thoughts turned to disgust at what Meltdown had done to Blue when he was a sparkling. If Sunstreaker hadn’t already ripped the femme’s head off, he would have gone back to Cybertron to do the deed himself. Not for the first time, he wished that Emdee hadn’t gone MIA back before they left on the _Ark_. She would have known how to help Bluestreak deal with this trauma.

She would have been able to help him deal with his own trauma, too.

He knew that the humans were doing what they could for the Autobots, but they never seemed to grasp that sentient _machines_ might have different emotional responses to some things. Especially machines that had spent millions of years at war with each other. They tried to treat the Autobots psychological damage—from their most recent losses and from older traumas—the way they would treat another Human and ignored that some of their issues were actual programming and not just a problem developed from repeated trauma. And they refused to understand that the permanent sorrow that he, Elita and Chromia had developed from the loss of their bondmates was something that was completely untreatable.

How could anyone replace a piece of their soul after it was lost? And how could anyone understand that kind of loss unless they had experienced it for themselves?

“Jazz? You feelin’ better tonight?”

Jazz turned at the sound of Blaster’s voice. He hadn’t expected to see anyone else out this late—at least not in the “barracks”—and he was actually a bit surprised to see the communications officer. “No. Just needed to get some air and see some stars.”

“I catch Eject and Rewind doing that sometimes. Usually when something really bad is bothering them.” Blaster leaned against the doorframe of the portable shelter. “Since I haven’t seen you out here at all in the two weeks since the attack, something else must be bothering you. You want to talk about it?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think you want to hear about it.” The saboteur looked back inside the shelter, checking to make sure Bluestreak was still in recharge. “It’s pretty rough, even for what some of what we’ve seen.”

“Bluestreak’s seen it a lot worse than most of us,” Blaster agreed. “And I understand if you don’t want to lay it on me. But if you need to talk, I’m here.”

“Thanks, man. That means a lot.” Jazz patted the red mech on the shoulder. “Now, go get some recharge. Ain’t healthy for a bot to stay awake as much as me.”

“Jazz…”

“The only cure is time, my man. Wish it were something you could help with.”

“All right, I can take a hint.” Blaster held his hands up in surrender. “I need to make sure those repairs to Steeljaw’s legs are still holding up anyway.”

As Blaster stepped away from the shelter, Jazz realized with a start that he hadn’t had anything to listen to since Unicron ate his sound system back on Moonbase 1. If Prowl had been here, he would have noticed almost immediately, and gone far out of his way to find one for his mate if necessary. Music was as much a part of the saboteur’s life as Prowl had been. It hurt like hell to think of the two of them linked together like that. But they had some good memories together with the music—they had made good memories, no matter the circumstances.

He was forced to live without Prowl, but he wouldn’t give up the music or the memories.

“Hey, Blaster!” Jazz called out as his friend was walking away.

“Yeah?”

“You still got that portable music system sitting around?”

“Don’t know if it survived. I’ll see what I can find.” Blaster gave him a grin as he left.

Jazz couldn’t smile back, but Blaster didn’t seem upset. After he couldn’t see the other mech’s bright red lacquer any longer, he shook his head and stepped back inside the shelter. He made a resigned sighing noise as he sat down on his recharge berth. He knew he wouldn’t be going into recharge any time soon, and if he did it would be a short recharge at best.

If Bluestreak didn’t have nightmares tonight he’d be the most pleasantly surprised mech in the universe.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak came out of recharge with a whimper. He had known he was going to have nightmares about Meltdown. Sunstreaker had known that he would have nightmares about Meltdown—and he’d tried to get him to stay with the Twins tonight so that he wouldn’t disturb Jazz’s rest. Blue almost regretted the decision to stay with Jazz when he felt the saboteur’s hand gently stroking the back of his head.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said softly.

“You didn’t. I’m still having trouble going into recharge alone.” Jazz’s hand didn’t still as he spoke. “You okay now?”

“No.” Blue slid closer to the edge of the berth. Jazz pulled him into a hug, and he buried his face against the saboteur’s shoulder the way he had as a sparkling. “I thought I was done with this. I thought she was finally gone when I didn’t have any nightmares after we woke up on Earth.”

“Aw, Blue.” Jazz hugged him more tightly. “I know she messed you up real bad, but we’ll get you through this. I’m here for you and the Twins and Tripwire are here for you.”

“But you don’t understand!” The sniper knew he sounded like a petulant sparkling, but he couldn’t think of any other way to say it.

“I do understand,” Jazz replied. “I don’t know how you feel—or how it felt then—but I do understand what you’re dealing with now. Soundwave didn’t have anybody but me to help him when was recovering from his abuse.”

“Soundwave?” Bluestreak looked up at his mentor in shock. He had known that Jazz and Soundwave were old friends, but the blue mech had always seemed so strong. “Decepticon communications officer Soundwave?”

“Yeah. I found out about it during our second meta-cycle at the Music Academy, after a mutual friend of ours had decided he wanted to be more than just friends.” Jazz tipped his head back, looking at the ceiling. It was a posture that Bluestreak knew he was going to keep talking about the subject but that Jazz didn’t want anyone to see how it was really affecting him. “I heard him screaming from across the dorms; we all heard him screaming. He wouldn’t let anyone else near him but me. We got through the crisis, and eventually we worked past the trauma, but things were never the same between him, Bluenote and Woodwind.”

“How do you know he got better?” He trusted Jazz not to lie to him, but he knew how he felt, and he didn’t feel like he could ever get over what Meltdown had done to him now.

“The cassettes are his sparklings, Blue. All of ‘em but the twins, anyway.”

“That’s only two,” Bluestreak replied. It was good news, though. If Soundwave had been able to stand someone else’s touch long enough to be with sparkling, then maybe he could heal.

“Laserbeak and Buzzsaw ain’t twins. Laserbeak is Megatron’s sparkling and he won’t tell me who Buzzsaw’s other creator is.” The older mech looked back down, and Bluestreak was sure he was smiling, just a little. “I’m actually pretty sure he’s mine.”

“Yours!?” Blue was fairly certain his processor was going to crash at the though.

“That was Prowl’s reaction, too.” Jazz’s voice lost the humored, wistful tone it had when he mentioned Prowl. “But I hadn’t even met him yet when Soundwave and I were trapped in the cargo lift together.”

“Wow. You and Soundwave. Who would have thought?”

“Anybody who knew us when we were in school together. I was accused of being Ravage’s creator a few times, too.”

“Crazy.” Bluestreak settled his head back against Jazz’s shoulder, content now to let his mentor hold him like he was a sparkling again. “Jazz?”

“Hmm?” Jazz’s distracted answer led him to believe that the saboteur was either remembering the past or remembering Prowl.

“Will you sing? Like you did when I was little?”

Jazz gave him another gentle hug. Bluestreak felt immediately calmer when his favorite childhood lullaby came from the older mech’s vocalizer. Feeling much more hopeful for his own case, he drifted back into recharge to the smooth sounds of Jazz’s singing.  



	41. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
_so...took a bit for me to update this one. sorry. one-shots and a two parter are happening all over the Avalon AU. as i'm sure some of you have noticed. ^^' and this chapter will seem a little pointless to some of you, i'm sure. but i promise, its all important later, as everything is._

_also, just so you all know, there should only be about five chapters of this left. the end is in sight._   


 

  
Jazz came online to the sounds of construction. He was disoriented for a moment—he couldn’t remember having gone offline—and couldn’t remember why there would be construction on Moonbase 1.

A bit more of his spark died when he remembered where he was and what was going on.

With a sigh, the saboteur forced himself to climb out of his recharge berth. A glance at his internal chronometer told him that he had enough time to stop at the commissary for some energon before his appointment with his grief councilor.

Not that he wanted to be going. He didn’t need to be told how to deal with his grief—he’d been doing that for vorns before he met Prowl—but Rodimus Prime was insisting that they all receive trauma counseling. Jazz understood their young leader’s reasoning, but he was tired of dealing with a well-meaning human who really didn’t understand what he was going through.

He would follow this Prime’s orders, though, just like he had Optimus and Sentinel before him. Hot Rod had been chosen by the Matrix for a reason, and he wouldn’t argue. And Roddy was smart enough to have gotten himself some good advisers to help him.

Bluestreak was still in recharge when Jazz stepped out of their shelter. He would have worried about leaving the younger mech alone when he had spent the last several days plagued by nightmares, but Sunstreaker had told him he would be by before their trauma counseling session. The Twins—and Tripwire—were taking excellent care of Blue and Sunstreaker was standing by the sniper more firmly that some bondmates might have. He and Prowl might have had reservations at first, but Sunny had proven that Bluestreak was in good hands.

Eject and Rewind nearly ran him down when he stopped just outside the door to take in some sunshine. They apologized quickly and then ran carefully around him. It was such a normal encounter, that he almost wondered if he was still in recharge.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Jazz,” Blaster said a moment later. “They’re on an errand for Elita-1 and taking it a little too seriously.”

“She has that effect on people.” Jazz gave him a wry smile. “How’s she doing?”

“About as well as you,” the red mech replied. “She’s finding little things to do keep herself busy though.”

“Good. Does Rodimus have her on his command staff yet?” The saboteur was glad to hear that she was managing to keep her mind off her own loss.

“He tried, but she said it would be too hard right now. He’s still holding your position open, though, if you want it. Says he has no idea how to train spec ops agents.” Blaster gave him a knowing look. “He’s right, but I’m not sure if you’re up to being head of special operations just now.”

“I dunno, Blaster. It’s what kept us alive inside Unicron.” Jazz turned the idea over in his processor. Springer had told him he needed to be getting out more—which he did—and picking his old job back up would give him something to do that didn’t _constantly_ remind him of Prowl. “I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Oh! Hey, come with me.” Blaster grabbed his wrist without warning and dragged him towards a shelter he couldn’t remember being in the camp the day before.

It was a shelter, slightly larger than the others in the camp—and it looked less portable than the others. It was equipped with windows that faced the valley and doors and stairs that would accommodate their human friends. It was also painted a ridiculously bright shade of orange—one that matched the material the _Ark_ was made from perfectly.

“Go inside,” the red mech said. “We built it for you and Bluestreak.”

Jazz looked at his friend in wonder, but did as he was told. After he stepped inside, he stood in the small entryway and looked around the shelter. It had a spacious main room—configured to be an entertainment area—and two doors leading to rooms off to the side. The wall directly across from him sported an entertainment center with a television and surround sound system that would have rivaled his old one. In front of the entertainment center sat a large couch of the type the Twins were fond of, but with much more attractive black upholstery.

“You really can’t see everything from here,” Blaster said from behind him.

The saboteur nodded and stepped further inside, still stunned and touched by the thoughtfulness his friends has shown. The left wall of the main room were lined with shelves, some of them holding data pads and music tracks, some holding pictures and trinkets that someone had picked up to remind them of home and of Earth. Several shelves were dedicated to framed holos of events in their lives, from Jazz’s promotion ceremony ten vorns before they had bonded to Bluestreak’s graduation party the vorn before they had crashed on Earth. The right hand wall was completely bare, which surprised him because his friends seemed to have been very thorough with everything else.

The communications officer followed his friend’s gaze. “We aren’t quite finished yet, but I wanted you to see it now.”

While he hadn’t seen the rest of his new house—shelter was too impermanent a word for it—he knew it would be as simple and perfect as everything else. For the first time in days, he felt something that could really be called happiness. “Thank you. I never would have expected anything like this from you guys.”

He didn’t mention that the house would never feel like home. Not without Prowl to fill in the empty places.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sunstreaker watched Bluestreak recharge with a small smile. He hadn’t seen the sniper look anything close to peaceful in a long time—and Blue looked not only peaceful this morning, but even faintly happy to judge by the tiny smile on his face. Sunny wondered what was going through the younger mech’s processor that would prompt that sort of reaction, but not enough to bring him back online to ask.

Bluestreak still had enough trouble recharging that the yellow Twin didn’t even want to wake him for their appointment with the trauma councilor.

Doctor’s orders, though, were doctor’s orders. First Aid said that the sniper wouldn’t be released back to active duty until he had seen the councilor for six more weeks—an eternity when there was so much to do—and when the specialist had found out about their relationship, she had insisted that Sunstreaker be there too.

And he’d get an audio full from the little human woman if he let Bluestreak be late to his appointment again this morning. He sighed and walked over to the younger mech’s berth. He wanted to wake Blue with a kiss, but past experience—and a rifle to the face before Bluestreak was fully online—had taught him that was a bad idea. Meltdown had really messed him up—and in ways that no one had noticed until now. He settled for taking Blue’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Rise and shine, Bluestreak. Its time to go see the scary little human again.”

Blue’s optics lit up slowly, his processor unwilling to let go of whatever he had been dreaming about. “Doctor Porter isn’t scary,” he said, squeezing Sunny’s hand in return. “She’s too little to be scary.”

“She hasn’t yelled at you yet,” the yellow Twin replied, pulling up off the berth and into a hug. “She’s damn scary when she yells.”

Bluestreak snuggled into the artist’s chest plates, seeming lethargic enough to go back into recharge in Sunstreaker’s arms. Sunny loved that the sniper felt safe enough—trusted him enough—to be able to do such a thing. Meltdown had never hugged the younger mech or held him affectionately, so he had no bad connotations to go with the act, but it didn’t take much to make Blue feel trapped and send him into a panic.

Aside from that first kiss in his make-shift studio, Bluestreak had never had that reaction in his arms.

But, no matter how much he loved holding the younger mech, they would both get into trouble if he let Blue go back into recharge.

“What were you dreaming about?” The question would help keep the sniper online and hopefully jolt his processor enough that he would stay that way. He was also endlessly fascinated by Bluestreak’s—and now Jazz’s as well—peculiar glitch; processors were supposed to go into standby during a recharge cycle not keep running memory data.

“You,” Bluestreak replied with a smile in his voice.

It wasn’t the answer that Sunny had been expecting, but he was incredibly touched by it. He hugged the other mech more tightly. “Love you, Blue.”

“Love you too.”  



	42. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC, The Twins  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
_well, this took a day or two longer than i had intended. ^^' got busy with other things (mostly sleep and work related BS) and didn't get much work on this in at all. thankfully, the worst of that stress is gone now._

_the first bit of this should be tacked onto the end of the last chapter. while i didn't think so last post, i've decided that it does now and so i'll be restructuring that for the final edit when i post on TF.net._

_i don't know if i'm happy with this bit or not, honestly. sideswipe's bit is...akward to me, to say the least, but its something i needed to open up to the general audience as it will affect things in the avalonverse's future. also, the little bit of tripwire we see here will affect the future too. and no, trip and sides are not going to be getting together._

_finally, the next chapter will be the last. what i want to do with jazz and bluestreak from that point on will be different in tone than DTF has been, so that requires a different story thread. also, i believe that their story while on cybertron my be better told in a series of one and two shot fics rather than another ~~monster~~ novel. i won't be sad to see DTF go, though. not really, anyway; it was eating too much of my life and keeping me from other, smaller projects._   


  
Doctor Porter had cut their session short because of an emergency back at her office, which suited Bluestreak perfectly. He hated having to go in for therapy with someone because he was ordered to. He wanted to talk out his issues—especially so he and Sunstreaker could have some kind of functional relationship—but he didn’t think that Rodimus Prime had any business dictating where or when he had his counseling when he wasn’t a trained medic.

He really missed Emdee and Ratchet.

“I have something to show you,” Sunstreaker said as they were leaving the shelter the Human disaster crews were using for offices. “Do you have some time?”

Blue gave the older mech an annoyed look. “I have nothing but time, remember? I’m still on psych leave.”

“I’d like to shoot the human who gave Rodimus that idea,” Sunny replied, wrapping an arm around him as they walked. “It’s making you miserable. So, I’m not going to interrupt any plans or anything with this? It can wait if it needs to.”

“I didn’t have any plans until this evening,” the sniper replied. “Sides, Trip and I were going to take Jazz into town for a concert later. You want to come?”

“I’d love to, but Rodimus has me on patrol tonight.”

“Bummer.”

“Yeah.” Sunstreaker steered them gently away from the main shelters. “I miss seeing Jazz smile.”

“Me too. I think that’s the worst part about losing Prowl; Jazz just isn’t right anymore.”

“Things will work out, Blue.”

“I hope so. Where are we going?” Bluestreak looked around carefully as they walked.

“Over there.” The artist pointed to a larger, orange structure just outside the main camp.

“Oh. Why?”

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise.”

Bluestreak gave him an amused smile. “Okay. I’ll wait like a good boy.”

They walked the rest of the way to the orange building in silence. Sunstreaker knocked on the door once before opening it and pulling the sniper inside. As gentle music washed over them, Blue realized that this structure was a permanent shelter.

Someone had built a home out here.

“It’s yours,” Sunny said softly. “Well, yours and Jazz’s. Blaster had the idea and everyone helped build it. We thought you and Jazz needed something that was just for the two of you. It sounds like Blaster already brought Jazz over.”

“Oh, Sunny…” Bluestreak turned to him with a stunned expression. “I don’t know what to say. No one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”

“Well, I hope you say that you like it.” The artist gave him a gentle smile. “Go look around; I have a few more decorations to put up.”

“Okay.” Bluestreak walked into the main room quietly, so he wouldn’t disturb Jazz’s music. He was amazed by the array of pictures and holograms lining the shelves on the wall to his left; he could trace their lives, step by step, just by looking through the images.

He moved away from the pictures after a few minutes. There would be plenty of time to study them later and he wanted to see the rest of the house.

Jazz was sprawled out on a couch in front of the entertainment center along the front wall. The older mech had a peaceful expression on his face. If Blue hadn’t known him as well as he did, he might have said the saboteur looked happy.

“We hafta share the wash racks,” Jazz said, surprising him slightly. “And I hope you don’t mind, but I took the room on the left.”

“It’s fine,” the sniper replied. “I don’t care which room is mine.”

Jazz gave him a small smile. “I didn’t think you would. How did your appointment go?”

“Fine. We had to stop early because something came up in town, though.” Bluestreak grinned. “You look like you skipped yours entirely.”

“I did,” the saboteur replied unrepentantly. “I had better things to do with my time.”

“Tell me what you think,” Sunstreaker said, interrupting their conversation and attracting their attention.

Bluestreak turned to look at the wall the yellow Twin had been working on. Jazz sat up and did the same. Sunstreaker looked back at them nervously.

Hanging on the wall next to him was a collage of paintings. They were painted in various mediums—most of which Bluestreak recognized from all the time he’d been spending with the artist lately—and they were a range of sizes. Each one featured Prowl, Jazz and Blue, at various ages, doing a variety of family activities. At the very center of the collage was a portrait of the three of them stargazing on the peak of Mount Saint Hillary.

The centerpiece said, in flowing Roman letters along the bottom edge, “Thank you for letting us love you.”

“Oh, Sunny…” Bluestreak looked at the artist in awe. “It’s amazing. How did you find time to do it all?”

“I’ve been working on it for a while,” Sunstreaker replied. “I wanted to give it to you guys when everyone came back from the Moonbases. But…”

“Thank you, Sunstreaker.” Jazz’s voice was soft, and when Blue looked at his mentor he thought that the saboteur looked incredibly touched. “Prowl would have been proud to have you remember him like this.”

“You’re welcome,” the yellow Twin replied.

Bluestreak watched a little sadly as Sunstreaker let Jazz hug him. Sunny wrapped one arm around the saboteur and held the other out to the sniper. Blue was more than willing to join the comforting embrace.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I’m being reassigned.” Jazz could tell that his words hit Bluestreak like a slap in the face the moment the sniper walked in the door of their house. He hadn’t meant for them to sound harsh, though they ended up that way, but he had needed to tell the younger mech about his decision before the rumor mill did.

“What?”

“Elita-1 is starting a reconstruction project on Cybertron and she wants me on it. I’m being reassigned to her unit, effective tomorrow.” Jazz turned down his music a bit and pinned the younger mech with a serious look. “It’s a volunteer only staffing, Blue.”

He waited for his words to sink into the other mech’s processor.

“You’re leaving me?” Bluestreak finally asked in a small voice.

The saboteur sighed, knowing that his adopted sparkling’s self-worth issues had made him miss the implications of his statement entirely. “I’m not leaving you, Blue. I was hoping you’d come too.”

“Elita won’t want me,” he replied in the same small voice.

Jazz wished he didn’t understand why the sniper would believe that. But he had heard the rumors as clearly as Bluestreak had, and he knew that a lot of the soldiers from Ultra Magnus’ unit called him a traitor—to his face and behind his back.

“Elita knows better than to listen to rumors and gossip,” Jazz told him gently. “She already approved your transfer if you want to go.”

“She did?” Bluestreak sounded so hopeful—and so broken—that the saboteur wanted to do nothing but hold him and protect him from the mechs who had hurt him.

He really hadn’t known that things were _that_ bad for Bluestreak. “Yeah, she did.”

Blue looked down at the floor and wrapped his hands around his upper arms. Jazz knew that if the younger mech had been sitting down, he would have curled up with his hands around his knees; he and Prowl had always done that when they were particularly upset.

“What about Tripwire and the Twins? I can’t just leave them…”

“It’s your choice, Blue,” Jazz said. “I want you to come, but I won’t make that decision for you. Talk it over with them and think about it before you decide.”

“What if I don’t come?”

“Then I find someone else for my team and give you my blessing.” The older mech stepped up to the younger and tipped his chin up so their optics met. “No matter what you decide, I’ll be behind you.”

Bluestreak unfolded his arms and pulled Jazz into a hug. “Thank you for understanding, Jazz.”

“Any time, Blue.” Jazz hugged him back, remembering all the times he had understood the younger mech far better than Prowl. “Any time.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Sideswipe wasn’t surprised to see Bluestreak when the sniper knocked on the shelter he and Sunstreaker were sharing with Tripwire. He had been expecting to see the other mech as soon as he started hearing the rumors about Elita-1’s reconstruction project on Cybertron. The rumor mill was ripe with speculation on which mechs would be tapped for the project and which wouldn’t.

He was pretty sure that Jazz would be leaving with her.

“Hey, Sides,” Bluestreak said. “Is Sunny around?”

“Yeah,” the red Twin replied. “He’s inside playing games with Trip.”

“Good. I really need to talk to you guys.” The sniper sounded horribly upset.

Sideswipe pulled him into a hug. “Blue, what’s wrong?” _Sunny, come here,_ he called over their private comm.

_What is it?_ his twin replied.

</i>Bluestreak.</i> Sideswipe was even more worried for Blue when he realized that the sniper hadn’t answered his question—wasn’t talking at all, in fact—and was hugging him back so tightly that he thought his armor might bend.

A moment later, the yellow Twin was wrapping his arms around the sniper, too. Tripwire was a step behind Sunstreaker; Sideswipe was grateful for the arm Trip wrapped around him.

Seeing Bluestreak fall so quickly from the obvious good mood he had been in for the last few days was unnerving.

“Blue,” Sunstreaker said softly, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Jazz is leaving!” Bluestreak wailed, all of his grief breaking loose. “He’s going back to Cybertron and he didn’t even talk to me about it first.”

Sideswipe tightened his hold on the sniper. He’d known the younger mech had issues with being abandoned by the people he cared about, but he hadn’t realized that they ran this deep.

“Blue, Jazz has to do what he can to give himself the opportunity to heal. That’s been really hard for him to do here on Earth. This might be what’s best for him.” Sunstreaker’s insight into Jazz was a little surprising; Sides hadn’t realized that his brother knew the saboteur that well. “He hasn’t stopped caring about you and he hasn’t decided to abandon you. And he told you about it, right? He wouldn’t do that if he wanted to leave you behind.”

“I guess you’re right,” the sniper replied.

“And I promised that you’d never be alone, right?” Sunstreaker asked.

“Yeah.”

“And you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah.” Sideswipe felt Bluestreak’s death grip on him relax. “I love you too.”

For a moment, the red Twin felt horribly jealous of what Bluestreak and his brother shared. He wanted them to be happy, but he wanted someone to show him that kind of affection as well. And he missed the days when he was the one who could calm the sniper’s troubles with a few well-timed words.

He felt Tripwire’s arm tighten around him a bit more and knew the youngest of them felt left out too.

Sideswipe loosened his grip on Bluestreak and stepped back. The moment for comfort was gone now, anyway.

The sniper looked at him with confused optics as he stepped away. “Sideswipe, what’s wrong?”

“Let’s go inside and sit down.” He tried to be as diplomatic as ever, but Bluestreak knew him pretty well, so Sides wasn’t sure it was working. “You can tell us what happened over some energon.”

“Sure. Okay.” Blue didn’t sound fooled, but he was willing to go along with it, which was good enough for Sideswipe.

Bluestreak preceded them into the room, so he didn’t see Sunstreaker pull his Twin into a comforting embrace.

“I know what you just did,” Sunstreaker said. “Thank you.”

Sideswipe let his brother remind him that he was loved—deeply—without letting any words get between them.  



	43. Deeper Than Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

Title: Deeper Than Family  
Universe: G1  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Jazz, OC, The Twins  
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl, eventual Bluestreak/Sunstreaker  
Summary: a fic that runs concurrent (in places) to my fic "Days in Avalon". Prowl went out of his was to help the sparkling they had rescued from ruined iacon, only to find out they were family. now he and jazz are trying to raise bluestreak the best they can in the middle of a civil war.

  
_well, this is it. the final chapter. bring tissues, because it is not happy. its also short, but this is how i wanted to end things._

_feel free to hate as needed. but remember that there is more to the Avalonverse than just this arc._   


  
Jazz gave the “living room” of their small house one last sad look after he finished packing. There hadn’t been much to pack; the pictures and paintings were much safer than on Cybertron and the entertainment system and its surround sound speaker set were too big to take with him.

All he had left were a few music tracks and far too many memories.

The saboteur turned and walked to the door, wishing that he had more time to appreciate the gift his friends had given him. Wishing that he could share their thoughtfulness with his mate.

Jazz didn’t look back as he closed and locked the door behind him.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He hadn’t—precisely—meant to punch Rodimus Prime in the face. But when their young leader, in his infinite—stubbornly arrogant—wisdom, had denied Sunstreaker and Sideswipe’s transfers to Cybertron, the yellow Twin had gotten angry. Sideswipe hadn’t even had a moment to process what his brother was doing before Sunny landed them square in the brig.

“How could I have been so stupid?!” Angry at his own actions, Sunstreaker slammed his fist into the cell’s recharge berth.

“You want the honest answer?” Sides asked.

“No.”

“You tend to go off half-charged whenever something happens that’s going to hurt Bluestreak.” Sides ignored his brother’s desire not to talk about it. “You don’t think things all the way through when you’re trying to help him or protect him. So, instead of being reasonable and trying to convince him it was a good idea to let us go, you got pissed off and hit him.”

“I told you I didn’t want your answer.” He didn’t need his Twin reminding him that he’d screwed this up beyond repair. “He’s going to think I don’t care after all.”

“Yep. And yet again, it’s all your fault.”

“You know what? You can go to the Pit.” Sunstreaker gave his twin a rude gesture and lay down on the berth, his back to Sideswipe.

He heard the red Twin sliding down the wall to sit on the floor a moment later. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I just hate seeing him hurt as much as you do.”

Sunstreaker didn’t reply, but he let his anger dissipate. It wouldn’t help to stay angry with his brother when it really was his fault that they were here.

He did regret that he had taken away his chance to even say goodbye to Bluestreak. Neither Blue nor Jazz would find out what happened until it was far too late, and even then they might not be forgiving.

That would be fair; he didn’t think he’d forgive himself either.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bluestreak stared sadly out the window of the shuttle after it took off. He had heard that the Twins’ transfer had been denied, but he had expected them to come see him off. That was the sort of thing friends did for each other.

And Sunstreaker said he loved him.

“I’m sorry,” Jazz said, putting an arm around the sniper’s shoulders. “I really thought they would be there.”

“So did I.” Blue tried not to let his sadness color his voice. Jazz didn’t need his troubles added to his own.

“I’m here for you, Blue,” the saboteur said. “When you’re ready to talk about it, I’ll still be here. You can always come to me.”

Bluestreak nodded and let his mentor’s touch be comforting. Jazz was here, and he had always been able to talk to the older mech about anything—even when he didn’t trust him nearly as much as he did now. “Thanks.”

_We have to stick together. We’re the only family we have left._   



End file.
